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I waited for the punchline. Everyone seemed strangely hesitant, and my eyes drifted back to Niles. They seemed to be waiting for him to say something, which was… odd. “Did you really fucking pull me in here—”
Niles cleared his throat, drawing my attention back to him. “We wouldn’t have called if it wasn’t an emergency.”
That’s when it hit me. “We?”
Niles blinked a few times before one of the others stepped in. “Niles is the son of our Chief of Surgery. Dr. Ryker, I urge you to curtail your anger with him based on—”
I was known for my God Hands, but I was also known to pop off when conditions weren’t right. And conditions were fucking not right. But I found this situation rather… amusing. I cracked a smile, which turned into a bit of a giggle, then a hearty laugh. Niles looked terrified, and the others were confused. “Fucking hell, really, Niles? Good one.” I blew out one more chuckle before losing the smile and hardening my gaze as it locked on the bastard. “Why the fuck am I here, Niles?”
He slid me a chart, and I stared at the picture clipped to the top. Casey? My foster mother’s jaded green eyes were shut, her skin bloodied and battered, but I knew that fucking face anywhere. I read through the chart, knowing full well that no one in this hospital could operate on her the way I could. The problem was… I wanted nothing to fucking do with her. I wanted her dead.
I shoved the clipboard back at him. “Fuck no.”
“It’s just a simple…”
Another growl ripped from my throat; this time, Niles was smart enough to step backward. “Niles, even if I decided that I wanted to take on this challenge, a craniectomy isn’t a simple procedure. And if she dies, what then?”
More silence and then, “Ryker—”
“I am allowed to refuse. For the safety of the patient and the legality of my practice.” What I wanted to say was that if they wanted Casey to stay alive, I shouldn’t be anywhere near her. If she was on my operating table, every part of me wanted to ensure she died there. Except for one part. The other little voice in my head wanted to keep her alive and then toy with her life, make her understand that I was the only reason she still lived.
Niles sighed, then straightened his face, trying to tuck away his emotions. He failed. “You’re a doctor, and you’ll do the operation. You can have a sabbatical or whatever the fuck you want later. But right now, this woman needs you, and you’re going to deliver.”
Oh, how I fucking wanted to bash the guy’s head in, but I didn’t need the audience, so I threw on a grin unnatural enough to creep Niles out and then nodded. “Sure, anything for you, boss.” He opened his mouth to apologize, I assumed, but I held up a hand. “Save the explanation. I don’t really care. I’ll make sure she wakes up, and then I’m fucking out of here.”
“Just one question. I can see the recognition in your eyes. How do you know her?”
A bitter laugh escaped from my lips. “Her? She was my worst nightmare once upon a time.”
KILLIAN
Everything was a bit fuzzy after Samael and Slash left but I remembered a car, Aeron stuffing me into the back, and then somehow making it into Aeron’s bedroom. After that, though… I had kind of lost track of time. We were crammed into the farthest corner of Aeron’s room, lights off, and the duvet pulled over our heads. I was sure we looked incredibly stupid, but Aeron’s closet was a bit full. My closet was much better for these kinds of freakouts.
What the fuck is going on with us. Killian, you good?
I shifted uncomfortably against the wall. My ass hurt from sitting in this position for the last hour, but I needed to get answers. “No, I’m not fucking good,” I hissed at Dark and Daemon. “I’ve been trying to figure out where all that missing time goes.” I hated that I was talking aloud to my voices again, but we’d be locked in here for who knew how long if I started talking in my head.
We don’t know, K.
We really don’t, Primrose. When it happens, we get locked up, too, and we can’t see anything.
A rough sigh left my lips. “Nothing?” This was fucking bad. This was worse than Mom’s condition. All of her voices knew what was going on. But for me? I kept finding places I wasn’t supposed to be or doing things I didn’t remember. Granted, that was how it was with Dark before I really understood him. And again, with Daemon before I knew he existed. But it had been getting steadily worse.
I screamed internally, both Dark and Daemon just as frustrated as me.
“Kitten? Would you please open up?” I bit my lip, trying to figure out whether I wanted to answer. Aeron had been desperately trying to get me to unlock the door after he found out where I was, but we weren’t going anywhere. I needed to figure things out. “Please.”
My heart cracked a little, but something kept me seated.
Where the fuck do you keep going, Killian?
“I don’t fucking know! Daemon, is there another one?”
Silence met my question, which meant one of two things – either my voices were keeping shit from me, or they didn’t know either. I wasn’t sure which one was worse. I felt helpless in my little cocoon of space, unable to do anything to make up for the time I had been losing.
Everything had been going just fine until Aeron told me that he wouldn’t fuck me. Then I started pacing, and Daemon and Dark were yelling at me to figure out what was going on. And I tried. Oh, had I tried. But trying to remember made me anxious like I was going to bring on a panic attack. So, I crawled into the smallest, most comfortable space I could find.
Underneath this blanket, I could think. I could breathe. The world wasn’t too big, and I felt like I had control over whatever the fuck was going on. Outside of the blanket? No. No, we wouldn’t go there.
