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“What?”
I stare at our hands waiting for him to let go, but he doesn’t. He runs his thumb against my fingers, the movement calming and reassuring as I continue to try and explain my thoughts as a scared eighteen-year-old.
“I wasn’t. But it made me think about how much you would’ve missed out on if we had a baby that young. You were going to an Ivy League school on a full ride. You had this wonderful opportunity that would’ve been taken from you.”
“I could’ve still gone to school.”
“Really? While I stayed here and had our baby?”
He doesn’t answer because he knows I’m right.
“Then there was Rachel.” My hand shakes in his.
“Rachel? Rachel who?” He looks genuinely confused. My heart hurts and I’m not sure if I can go on. “Scarlett, Rachel who?”
“Rachel Cooper, from school. She was a year younger than us.” I shake my head and a hysterical sounding laugh escapes. “Her grade doesn’t matter.” I take deep breath to calm myself and I continue, “When I thought I was pregnant I missed a few days of school. Do you remember when I had the flu right before graduation?”
“Yes, I tried to come see you and bring you some of my mom’s soup. You wouldn’t let me in.”
“Rachel took that opportunity to make up some things about the two of you. She had text messages and pictures. I was in just the wrong state of mind and believed her.”
“I would never.” Knox looks crushed that I believed he would’ve cheated on me.
“I know. It was the excuse I needed to leave though. I asked my parents to help me leave right after finals and not tell you where I went. I stayed with a family friend in California and went to school at USC. Eventually I got a job with Archer and that’s how I ended up back here.”
“I don’t understand. You thought breaking my heart and destroying our future would be good for me?” Knox’s voice rises, but he calms himself down. “I want to understand, Scarlett, I do. I just don’t understand why you didn’t talk to me about any of this at the time. I thought we were on the same page about everything. I was going to Yale and you were going to the University of Connecticut so we could be close to each other. If you wanted to go somewhere else for college we would have worked it out.”
I shake my head. “It wasn’t that. I think I just felt I wasn’t good enough for you. My family wasn’t wealthy like yours. I wasn’t as smart as you and there were girls that were a better fit. When I thought I was pregnant I was worried that people would think I did it on purpose to trap you. I thought when I left you would be able to find someone who was more appropriate for you.”
“Fuck, you are all I’ve ever wanted, Scarlett. I never thought you weren’t good enough. I always thought you were too good for me. You are so fucking beautiful and smart. I didn’t need to be trapped, I was already yours.” He lets go of my hand and a chill run through me. “I’m sorry that I didn’t make you feel like the most important thing in my world. I promise that I won’t make that mistake again.”
Knox stands up from the table and then lifts me from my seat onto my feet. “I need to do some things. Can I take you to dinner tonight?”
I nod my head. Feeling a little bit of whiplash from the emotional highs and lows. “Yes, I’d like that.”
He gives me a gentle kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you at seven, baby.”
And then he leaves the bakery and I’m still standing when I thought I would crumble.
What the hell just happened? Did he forgive me? Do I forgive myself?
Leaving was stupid and my reasoning won’t make sense to most people, but honestly, I was a teenage girl in over her head.
But can I handle being with Knox St. James now that we’re both grown up?
Chapter
Seven
KNOX
I made it to my car before I let out a yell. She thought I cheated on her. She left me for my own good. I hit the speed dial for my older brother and wait for him to answer.
“You better have a very good reason for calling me. We just got home with the baby.” Wilder does not sound pleased.
“Fuck, I’m sorry. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own stuff. I’ve lost track of what day it is. How are Ivy and Jovie?” I’m officially the worse Uncle — Miles and Hunter have me beat.
“They’re great. Jovie’s eating like a champ and Ivy’s feeling good. Mom’s been here helping a lot and we’re adjusting.” When Wilder talks about Ivy and their daughter, his voice takes on this soft quality that echoes the love he feels for them. It’s so different from who he was before he met Ivy and I’m ashamed at the jealousy I feel toward him and his happiness.
