AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“So, what do you think?” Gareth asked a half hour later as we climbed into the back of a large black SUV, one of Gareth’s drivers quietly driving us toward home.
I scooted closer to him in the back seat, smiling at him. “I loved it. I loved taking notes. I loved listening to the history of the cocktails and where they originated from, and I loved creating something on my own.”
“I'm so glad,” he said.
“I think...” I took a deep breath, excitement fluttering through me. “I think I want to try going to college. Whenever I can get a job to save up some money,” I hurried to add, not wanting him to think that I was asking him to provide for me. He’d already done enough.
He furrowed his brow and shook his head. “You don't need a job, Serenity. If that's what you want to do, just tell me where you'd like to attend, and we'll get you enrolled.”
“Just like that?” I asked snapping my fingers.
He leaned down, nuzzling me before kissing me softly. “Just like that. I know you're more than capable of securing your own employment and making your own money, but you're a Maxfield. You’re my wife. And I'm sure you've noticed by now the pleasure it gives me in serving you.”
Searing heat slid down my spine, the warmth trickling into all sorts of delicious places at the way he looked at me. My mind and heart were a swirl of emotions, and I couldn't hold it in any longer.
“Can I say something,” I said quietly. “And you promise not to say anything back?”
Gareth studied me for a moment, contemplating what I was asking him. I appreciated him taking the time instead of instantly answering me, knowing that the man would never make me a promise he intended to break.
“I promise,” he said finally.
“I’m in love with you,” I said, and his eyes flared wide. “I know it’s soon, and I know that I have a hell of a lot of traumas to heal, but I don't want to hide anything from you. I can't deny it a second longer. I love you, Gareth. Not only because you've saved my life in more ways than you'll ever realize, but because you brought me back to life when I felt like there was nothing worth living for. You make me laugh and gasp and ache and feel safe and yet adventurous and wild at the same time. And I don't need you to say it back. This has nothing to do with an obligation on your end, I just really wanted you to know how I feel.”
I could tell he was struggling not to respond, but I admired his willpower as I saw an array of emotions flitter over his face, and then he locked him down one by one.
“I won't break my promise to you,” he said. “But can I ask when I'm allowed to at least address what you just said?”
“I just don't want you to say it back. You can say anything else. I don't want to you to feel like I'm trapping you.”
“I would never feel that way,” he said. “And I know you’d never do that to me. I will say this though, I don't think I'll ever be worthy enough to deserve you. I was cut from the same cloth as the people that hurt you all your life, even as much as you'd like to deny it. But, like I said before, I'll spend every day trying to be worthy of you.”
I shook my head, electing to kiss him instead of argue. I’d met his family and they were nothing like mine. I could absolutely see their ties to the life, but they weren’t cruel. I could see our future stretching out before us—a happy, passionate, exciting future—but I knew it would be filled with these types of debates. Me assuring him that he was better than so many of the people I'd grown up with, and him never feeling like he was.
And as I lost myself in his kiss, doing my best to silently show him exactly how amazing he was, I could only hope that we were granted the time I needed for me to convince him.
CHAPTER 15
Gareth
Ileaned against the bar with my arms folded over my chest, my anxiety rising with each second that ticked by. I told myself to stop being a primal possessive asshole, but it wasn't really working.
Serenity still hadn't arrived to the Cougars’ spring break costume party. The bar was packed with my players dressed in all manner of costumes, from the Mandalorian to Freddy Krueger. Pretty sure I saw no less than three phantoms and more Ghostbusters than I could count.
While they were all celebrating their off season, enjoying the open bar I'd provided them because they sure as hell earned it, I was glaring at the bar, dressed in my normal suit, and looking at my phone every two minutes.
I knew she was safe, but with Dante's latest update about Doyle going off the grid after being kicked out of the game, I was struggling with a sense of unease. Like the bastard would pop up any second to do a jump scare. I knew he wouldn't take the offense quietly, and I found myself wishing he would just get his plans over with so Serenity and I could relax for a fucking minute.
Although lately, she certainly hadn't seemed as on edge as she had in the beginning of our relationship. Each day she seemed more and more comfortable, sliding into her own skin with such an effortless grace I couldn't help but admire her. She could’ve easily and understandably been working through her trauma with lots of self-care and isolation, but she'd chosen to embrace her new freedom and try on all sorts of different situations to see if she liked them. And I was pretty damn proud to be one of those situations she liked. For now.
She told you she loves you, my inner voice reminded me.
It’d been two weeks since Serenity had said the words. Words I never thought I would ever hear so sincerely from someone in a relationship with me, let alone someone as amazing and as Serenity.
But I hadn't said it back.
It wasn't because I didn't feel that, because I did.
I loved her like I’d never loved anyone before, but if I said it back, then it’d be real.
