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There’s one missed call on my screen, with a voicemail. I grind my teeth. I don’t lie to my mother, ever. I’ve always done what is expected of me, I should be allowed to have this one thing before my world changes forever. Figure out Olive. Figure out Emily. Figure out how this town plays into my life.
I click the voicemail and hold it to my ear. Hi, it’s Emily. I think we should tell Olive. Tonight.
After I listened to the voicemail, I called her right back and agreed. She asked Noelle not to come, and I confirmed she wouldn’t. I didn’t mention she was on her way back to San Diego and we were no longer a couple.
Now, I bounce on my feet, the nervous energy making my body feel like a live wire.
“Hi,” I say as Emily opens the door wider and I walk through, rubbing my hands together. I catch a whiff of her floral perfume, and I huff a breath.
I want to hug her, but she’s flicking her hands. She’s as nervous as I am.
“Where is she?”
“She’s reading.” Emily’s breath is shallow as she slides her hands into the back pockets of her shorts. Her voice shakes. “What is Noelle up to tonight?”
I shrug. “I don’t know.”
There’s a flash of a smile on her face, and I swallow. I shouldn’t be ogling her, mesmerized by her green eyes, the way her smile is contagious. Her hair is down today, curling around her shoulders. Goddamn, she’s beautiful. The energy crackles between us, but the deception makes me stand away from her. I’m close to forgiving everything.
“Are you nervous?” Emily asks.
I nod. My heart thumps rapidly. “Terrified.”
“I think we should be vague about why you were gone,” Emily says, her eyes wide.
“Agreed.” Although I’m so nervous I could vomit, I’m glad we’re not hashing out everything tonight. I’m sure there will be questions. I never got to have this conversation with my biological father, but I have a few ideas about what she might ask.
Why didn’t you want me?
Why weren’t you around?
Did you ever love my mother?
Emily’s crossed arms and nervous shaking makes me want to wrap my arm around her, comfort her, tell her everything will be alright. Once it’s over, we’ll feel so much better.
She holds out her hand, offering it to me. I raise my hand to clasp hers, and calmness flows through me. She smiles and says, “We can do this. I’m so excited. And nervous. I can’t believe it’s happening. I’ve been dreaming about this day for a while.”
“You have?” My hand grips hers tighter.
“Yes.” She looks up the stairs, our hands still linked. Her hand feels so good in mine.
In that moment, everything that happened falls away. We’re two parents, telling our daughter part of the truth. Maybe it will lead to the full truth one day. That I would’ve run back to her the moment I knew.
Emily’s head turns to me, and I don’t look away, I just let myself get wrapped up in her. “Let’s go tell our daughter who you are.”
Her hand lets go so she can climb the stairs first, and I pause before taking a step.
This is it.
We find Olive on her bed, her head tilted to read a book in her lap. She doesn’t acknowledge us as we stand there, watching her. My heart is in my throat.
“Olive, honey,” Emily says, walking toward our daughter. Olive looks up and sees me, a hesitant smile on her lips.
“Hi Max.” She shifts to sit up, crossing her legs, putting her book to the side. Emily drops a knee to sit across from her. Do I walk in? Do I stand here? I’m sure if I get any closer, they will hear the thunder in my chest.
Emily touches Olive’s hand and they look at each other and my chest tightens.
“Honey, we have something to tell you.”
