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“I’m marrying a lumberjack and have access to an obscene amount of axes,” she said. “I’ll get through that door if I have to! Love you, Ginny.”
“Damn it,” I whispered. Closing the door, I sighed as I leaned against it. She wasn’t going to make this easy, was she?
I gave up packing and just sat on my living room floor surrounded by unorganized books. Special editions, signed copies, and series were lumped together in different piles with hopes I’d pack them and bring them with me. I couldn’t. There was no way I could bring them back to my father’s house. I just had to pack them up and hope Killian would figure out what to do with them—not that he needed more on his plate.
Declan had shown up with a new doorknob and worked in complete silence as he fixed it. I drank wine and just stared at him. No doubt Raven had told him. He didn’t say a word about it—just fixed my door, hugged me, and told me he loved me before he left. Why’d he have to be so kind?
Why did any of them have to be that way? Why couldn’t they be horrible people? That would’ve made it easy to walk away, right?
Even I knew that logic was broken. I knew my father was a deeply flawed man. He took that out on my sister and I with his skewed logic on the proper way to raise children. No matter how hard I tried, I was never good enough.
I would never be good enough.
So why did I bother? Why couldn’t I walk away?
The simple answer: I didn’t know how. I just kept ending up right back home. He was my father. I was supposed to love him and obey him.
The buzzing of my phone on the floor made me glance down, wondering who was trying to get in touch with me now. It wouldn’t surprise me if one or many of the Byrnes tried to contact me via a different phone. However, Gabby’s name on my screen was unexpected.
GABBY: Why the fuck are you moving back home? Mom called and left a VM that you are.
I sighed. Of course, Mom had called and informed her about my situation. And of course, this was the one time Gabby answered her calls.
I just need to start over.
GABBY: No, I started over. You’re going right back to the bullshit. Why would you do that to yourself?
It won’t be so bad.
GABBY: Yeah okay. ?? Did Phillip say that? Or did he set the ground rules the minute you wanted to go live with them?
I took a long sip of wine as I stared at the message. I never could understand my sister’s level of disrespect for our father. Yes, he wasn’t a wonderful man, but I couldn’t imagine ever calling him by his first name.
GABBY: Your stunned silence tells me everything, Ginny.
I don’t know what you want me to say.
GABBY: I want you to realize that our piece of shit father is an abusive dickhead.
He’s not abusive. He’s just strict.
GABBY: Even strict parents look at Phillip like he’s fucking nuts.
GABBY: Which he is.
He just loves us.
At least I kept telling myself that. He said the words, but in my darker moments, I wondered if he did.
GABBY: I fucking hate how you listen to him.
GABBY: You had a man who loved you. Fuck, I wish I could find someone who looks at me the way Killian looks at you.
GABBY: Most of us will never have that and you’re what? Throwing it away for Phillip fucking Goodwin?
You wouldn’t understand.
GABBY: You know, it’s funny how you keep saying that, but you don’t give anyone the chance to try. Maybe if you tried telling me what happened with you and Killian, I would understand.
