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“Really?”
“Yeah. I didn’t hurt anyone, but… this is so embarrassing. Okay, so, you know how Henry is always panicking on Declan about wolves in his chicken coop?”
“No…”
“The only wolf that ever got in Henry’s chicken coop was me,” I admitted. She let out a tiny gasp. “I… I ate at least one chicken and killed the rest of his chickens.”
“Ginny!” Raven exclaimed.
“I know! It’s horrible,” I said. “But I didn’t have any more control than you did today.”
“That—”
“I know that doesn’t make it any better,” I continued over her. “It doesn’t take away the guilt, but you didn’t grow up a wolf. We’re accustomed to wolf control accidents. Both Declan and Cade are. I can’t speak to Cade’s experiences, but Declan has story after story about ridiculous wolf issues. And even more horror stories. They won’t think less of you because of this.”
“That doesn’t stop me from thinking less of me,” she reiterated.
“It takes time,” I replied. It really did. I still bought an obscene amount of eggs from Henry just because I felt bad about his chickens.
“I don’t feel…” She blew out a frustrated breath. “I don’t know what I feel.”
“How can I help?” I asked. “What can I do?”
“I don’t know,” Raven said. “Can I help you?”
I frowned. I was the last person she should’ve been worrying about.
“I’m okay, Raven,” I lied.
“You’re a bad liar.”
“I know.”
“As long as you know that I know that you’re lying to both of us,” she stated. Leave it to Raven to make me feel guilty about trying to keep the focus off of me. “Are you really going to leave? All of us?”
“Raven… it’s just not that easy.”
She pulled away, sitting upright to stare at me. Even with a red nose and puffy eyes, her expression was severe. I cringed. I didn’t want to be on the other end of that look.
“Tell me one honest thing, Ginny. Tell me one honest thing about what’s going on. Please? Help me understand.”
I leaned forward, wrapping my arms around my knees. Chewing my lower lip, I contemplated the question. What was I willing to give her? What could I even say?
“Killian and I…” I sucked in a sharp breath. Just saying his name hurt. “We have… secrets… painful secrets.”
I blinked back against the burn in my eyes.
“And we let those secrets destroy us,” I whispered honestly. Raven waited expectantly, but I didn’t say anything more. I couldn’t.
I couldn’t put the words to those secrets. Ever. Even just thinking about them threatened to break something deep inside me.
Chapter 60
Killian
The house was empty—a task that had taken way more fucking effort than I’d expected. Mom didn’t want to leave. The fight that ensued could only be described as a violent blowout. There was no good way to get my fucking point across other than yelling at her. Making sure she was safe was the only thing I fucking cared about. I couldn’t make my brothers do a goddamn thing, but if I had to drag my mother kicking and screaming to the fucking packhouse I would.
Thank fuck I wouldn’t have to, but I’d been ready to.
