AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“What if we’re making a mistake?” I asked quietly.
“By getting back together?” His brows furrowed together, but his gaze never left the road.
“By moving so fast,” I corrected. “By you moving in and all that with the house.
“I see,” he murmured and nodded slowly. “You can’t live like that anymore, Genevieve. It’s not healthy. Both of us need to deal with this grief. I can move back home with Mom if you want—fuck knows she’d be happy if I stayed close to her right now. I’m okay with that if it makes you comfortable, but the house needs to be dealt with. Those two rooms have to be handled.”
“I don’t want to.” I blinked back tears.
“I don’t want to either,” Killian admitted. “But we have to. I can call David right now, and he’d tell us the same damn thing. It’s just not healthy to stay stuck.”
“But—”
“Tell you what.” He stopped in the drive and faced me. “Go in with me. We face this together. And then I’ll take care of the house to get it back to normal if you’re okay with Declan and my brothers helping. I’ll send you out for a day in Olympia with Raven and Cade, so you don’t have to worry about a fucking thing but the fun stuff, okay? I’ll take the hard stuff. Would that be okay?”
“That’s not fair to you,” I told him.
“I’m not talking about what’s fucking fair,” he replied. “I didn’t take care of you when I should’ve, so let me now.”
The guilt on his face as he said the words was genuine. It wrapped around my chest in a vice grip.
“Okay,” I mumbled, my voice trembling. He brushed away the few tears I couldn’t hold back.
“We’ll be okay,” Killian said. I wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince: me or himself.
I let Killian take the lead because I couldn’t do any of the things we said we were going to do. Knots wracked my stomach, making me nauseous, and my hands shook terribly. For all the strength he exuded, Killian’s expression was drawn severely as he led me inside. His fingers tightened around mine when the front door closed. I followed him into the living room and froze, my gaze sliding around the room.
He was right. The house wasn’t us anymore. I really had packed everything that was us and put it away—more like, threw it away. I’d thrown away a lot of shit I shouldn’t have. The house was so cold and lifeless. Had I really spent almost three years living like this?
“Come on.” He gave my hand a gentle tug toward the stairs, but I couldn’t make my feet move.
“Red,” I whispered, tears filling my eyes as I tried to make him stop. I didn’t want to go.
“I am helping you, princess,” Killian replied gently. He stepped closer, and his forehead dropped to mine. Breathing in deep, I let the aroma of tobacco and vanilla fill me. I needed something to cling to. “It’s going to hurt. I can’t take that part away. We have to get through the hurt.”
“I don’t know that I can,” I admitted rather pathetically. The very idea of doing what he asked threatened to wreck me. I wasn’t sure I could survive it.
“I promise you won’t have to go through this alone,” he said. “Never again.”
He waited in silence with me, holding me close while I tried to work up the courage to do it. More than anything, I wanted to run out the back door and disappear. His patience was appreciated and needed as he managed to get me up the stairs. I froze all over again outside the nursery door. It wasn’t even open and my legs were barely holding me up.
“Breathe with me, princess,” Killian instructed, his voice soft. He held my face and breathed like he wanted me to. “That’s it. You’re doing so fucking good, Genevieve. In and out, slow breaths. In and out for me, baby girl. That’s right. Just like that.”
I wasn’t sure who he thought he was kidding. I was on the verge of hyperventilating. Deep breaths my ass. The weight in my chest threatened to suffocate me right there on the spot.
Still, I tried. I tried because he wanted me to. I trusted him to get me through this no matter how awful it was. When he reached behind him and the door clicked open, my body tensed painfully.
“Stay with me, Genevieve,” he murmured. His hand slid around the back of my neck and tightened as he held my forehead to his. “Stay with me, baby girl. I’m just opening the door. That’s all. We’ll just stand here, okay? Tell me you understand.”
“Okay,” I managed to say, my voice unsteady.
How long we stood there, I wasn’t sure. I was only upright by sheer willpower and Killian’s steadiness.
“One step forward, Genevieve,” he coaxed. I immediately shook my head. I didn’t want to. The fact that my knees were weak was the only reason I wasn’t bolting in the other direction. His hands moved down my body until he braced my waist. “One step forward with me, Genevieve.”
Somehow, the slight uptick and tremble in his voice was soothing—like I wasn’t alone. Like I wasn’t the only one drowning in the pain harbored in this room. He was right here with me, but he was also here with me. He was floundering, hurting, and feeling all the awful things I did.
I let him guide me one step forward just to the threshold of the open door. My nails dug into his skin as I clung to his forearms for support.
