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My wolf violently fought back—clawing and biting its way through my skin. Lane’s mouth moved furiously with the spell he was saying, but I couldn’t hear a fucking word over all the screaming.
My screaming.
Every nerve was on fire, stripped raw and assaulted repeatedly. I lost sight of everything in a swirl of shadows. My body rioted, and my knees gave out. Every instinct told me to rip out the conduit in my chest.
“No, you fucking don’t,” a voice snarled in my ear. Something clamped down tight on my wrists and yanked me to the ground. I thrashed and fought, desperate to get free.
Waves of darkness washed over me, dragging me under—
Chapter 90
Killian
Waves rolled in and out, rhythmically breaking against the sand. A castoff mist gathered in the air and coated my skin. I breathed in deep, letting the ocean air fill me. God, I fucking loved this place.
I lost myself for just a moment. Long enough to feel the peace begin to nestle its way into my soul. Except I wasn’t alone. Standing next to me was a kid no older than eight or nine—short, scrawny, and up to his waist in water that tugged dangerously at his small frame. Dark, unruly hair fell into his face, and midnight blue eyes were red with tears, matching his red nose.
I lowered to a crouch as I stared at him, surprised. Fuck, it was me.
My soul ached. I knew his pain. Fuck, I could recall the pain. And there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to help the frustrated tears streaming down his cheeks.
“Killian?” a man said from the shore. That voice… it sent chills down my spine. Both of us turned, and my heart damn near fell out of my fucking chest.
“Dad?” I whispered, even though I knew he couldn’t hear me. I didn’t exist here outside of little me. It was nothing more than a memory.
Standing in the sand, my dad had his hands shoved in his pockets as he watched. A pensive expression lined his weathered face. Auburn hair was cut short and swept across his forehead. The gray at his temples matched the gray in his beard. Wire glasses sat on his nose, and his broad shoulders complimented his tall frame.
God, Declan really did look like him.
“I’m sorry,” little me managed to whisper before breaking down crying.
My dad walked right into the ocean and got down on his knees. He was barely down before little me launched at him. I could feel the desperation for comfort from where I was—something my dad so readily offered.
“You don’t have to be sorry, kid,” he replied. His arms tightened, and I swore I almost felt it—a ghost of a hug. “Your mom and I were just worried about you.”
“The world is too loud!” little me exclaimed. “And I just… I got mad.”
I felt that shit in my soul.
“It’ll get easier,” my dad told him. It wouldn’t, but the sentiment was nice.
“How?”
I stared at my dad almost as expectantly as the younger version of me did. The look on my dad’s face wasn’t reassuring.
“I don’t know, Killian,” he admitted. “Do you like the ocean better than going out in the woods?”
“Yeah,” little me replied.
“Okay.” Shifting in the water, my dad sat down and pulled little me with him, sitting him between my dad’s legs. “Then we’ll sit here.”
Then we’ll sit here…
Those words echoed in my head.
“I remember this,” I said to no one in particular as I stared around us. It was the last time I ran away before Dad died. This was the last moment I had alone with my dad.
Fuck. I sank back into the water next to them—they watched the horizon, and I watched them. I took in every detail I could about my dad at that moment.
