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“Why?”
“Ahh,” I scratched behind my ear. “So you can be comfortable.”
“Why would I be more comfortable with you on the couch?”
“I’m just trying to do the right thing,” I told her, strained. If she only knew how damn hard it was to walk away. To not tackle her onto the bed and hold on so tight she molded to my frame.
But how could I? How could I do that when I’m pretty sure it’s not what she would want if she could remember?
“But you slept with me in the hospital and then in your dorm room last night.”
Had that only been last night? God, it felt like forever ago.
“You were having nightmares.” I defended. “I don’t like hearing you cry.”
“You don’t?”
I scoffed.
“What if I have more nightmares tonight?”
“I’ll hear you. I’ll come.”
“Or you could just stay.”
My chest clenched, squeezing my heart uncomfortably. I stared at her for long moments, a war raging inside me, a war between what was right and what I wanted. It was so hard to deny myself when she looked at me like that.
I never quite realized it before, or maybe I had. Maybe that was why I’d spent so many years trying to be worthy. Trying to prove my worth. I might never have acknowledged it, but clearly, something deep down inside saw. The way she looked at me now versus then was different. She’d been guarded. Like she held back a piece of herself.
Now?
Now her brown gaze was open. Trusting. Like everything she was, she invited me to see.
I was so fucked. Like fucking fucked.
I was a bad, bad bro, but goddamn, that look in her eyes was my kryptonite.
I had to fight it, though. I’d already crumbled far too much. When she remembered….
“Getting into bed with you right now would be a lot different versus when you were having night terrors,” I said.
“How?”
I made a rough sound and turned away, staring at the wall to pray for patience. This wasn’t her fault. She had no idea.
“Did we not sleep together before?” she pressed.
I turned back. “What?”
“We’re engaged. I would think we spent the night together.” Her gaze turned shy, the paleness to her cheeks suffusing with color.
God, she was fucking adorable.
When I said nothing, just continued to stand there and stare, she spoke again, her voice timid. “Didn’t we?”
Groaning, I lifted my hand to bite into the back of my finger, the urge to pounce on her so strong it made me angry. “That’s why I can’t just crawl into bed with you,” I said, slightly harsh. “You can’t remember. You can’t really consent. Me getting into bed with you because you were scared and needed comfort is a lot different than me getting in bed with you because I want to.”
“So you do want to?”
