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“I can’t.” The refusal actually caused pain.
The undercurrents in the room resurfaced, growing bolder and harder to deny. That was another difference between us then and now. Chemistry always existed between us, but now it surged like high tide, filling up the room and attempting to take over. How I wanted to submit. How I wanted to get caught up in a wave of desire… to explore just how deep our connection went.
“Because I can’t consent.”
“Mm.” I agreed.
“But I’m wearing your ring,” she said, holding her hand up to stare at the gold bow.
I felt my lip curl derisively. “You deserve a diamond.”
“I like the bow,” she said, still staring. “Like you thought I was a gift.”
I swallowed, the action abrasive because of the emotion clogging my throat. “You are.”
“You kissed me earlier.”
I moaned. “You make me fucking weak.”
“I liked it.” She went on. “I liked it so much.”
My hands curled into my palms, legs wobbly. “Don’t do this,” I pleaded.
“I have amnesia, but I’m of clear mind right now.”
“Our relationship…” I stalled, trying to come up with an explanation for my betrayal. “It’s complicated. There’s a lot between us we need to work out. I don’t want to do anything now you might regret when you remember.”
Her brows furrowed, and I could almost hear the wheels in her mind spinning to try and make sense of what I said. “So we were fighting? Not getting along?”
“Something like that.”
“But you love me?”
All the breath left my body. My stomach turned inside out, and sweat slicked my palms. There was no lying here. There could never be a denial. Because in truth, it didn’t matter we weren’t actually together. The answer was still the same.
How could I just blurt it out? Of course I do. Or, Yes.
It was a first she thought she already had. A love confession she already experienced. And if I continued with that lie, it would rob her of something I couldn’t ever give back.
But I couldn’t say no either.
My shoes were muffled against the carpet, the faint scuffing sound somehow adding anticipation to the already heady currents buzzing through this room. When there were mere inches between us, I hit my knees in front of her again.
My hands were unsteady, and my heart pounded uncomfortably. She sat forward, widening her legs, and I fit myself between them, fingers brushing at her waist. She was so familiar to me yet suddenly brand new. Her scent, the sound of her soft breathing, the way her knees brushed against my sides.
She watched me quietly, and despite the doubt I knew she must harbor, there was confidence in her gaze.
So yeah, there would be no lying. There would be no takebacks. There would be nothing in this moment but the truth and the creation of a first I hoped she would never regret.
Sliding my hands from her waist, I palmed her face, gently swiping my thumbs along her cheekbones, enjoying the glide of her skin against mine.
Her pink lips parted. All her attention was mine.
“Do I love you?” I whispered, still stroking her face. “Yeah, baby girl, I love you. I love you like I’ve never loved anyone or anything. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime kinda love. A love that won’t ever stop.”
Her lower lip wobbled, and she reached up to curl her hands around my wrists. “I can feel it,” she whispered. “My brain might have forgotten, but my heart remembers. My heart remembers you.”
I inhaled, hoping to drag the remnants of those words into my lungs. To let them be the oxygen I consumed, the air that kept me alive. Fuck, it was hard to remain impartial, to keep telling myself she didn’t know what she was saying. How could I not succumb to words I’d been waiting years to hear?
