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Panic snapped my spine upright, and my limbs started to buzz with adrenaline. Running to my locker, I threw the door open to grab my phone.
What’s wrong? I texted and then stared impatiently at the screen for a reply.
When none came, I called him. It rang and rang then went to voicemail.
Frustrated and fucking worried, I snatched the keys out of my locker, leaving the rest of my shit where it was, and ran for the door.
28
Jess
He lied.
Not just a little either. A lot.
He told me we were engaged, but we weren’t even dating. I glanced down at the ring on my finger and wondered where it came from.
Because it wasn’t mine.
He never put a ring on my finger. I’m not good enough.
Suppressing a sob, I grabbed the ring, ready to pull it off my finger and throw it to a place I’d never have to see again.
The second the cool gold bow touched my heated fingers, I recoiled. It made me sick to wear it but equally sick to pull it off.
My head was spinning, stomach nauseous. The stitches in my head throbbed like an extra heartbeat, and everywhere my teary eyes landed was just a stabbing reminder of how many lies I’d been told.
And not just from Ben. From all of them.
They weren’t even my friends. Not really. I made sure of it. So why were they acting like this now?
And worse, I liked it.
Exactly why I held them all at arm’s length to begin with. Something I hadn’t known. Something Ben neglected to tell me.
A hot surge of anger ripped through me. Swiping at my damp eyes, I used the bed as leverage and stood, wobbling a little as I balanced on one leg.
Another sob scraped my throat when I glanced down at the rumpled sheets and felt utterly humiliated at how happy I’d been lying tangled up in them just an hour ago. How much I loved being in Ben’s arms. How what I experienced last night was basically something I thought I would never, ever have.
She’s not good enough.
That’s what they said and that’s what I always believed. He never told me otherwise. He never tried to be anything more than my friend. I was just a poor scholarship girl from the wrong side of the tracks, and he was a rich athlete with pedigree for days.
We were friends. Best friends. But I knew it could never be more. Girls like me didn’t belong with guys like him. I settled for friendship and told myself it was enough.
So now all the old memories clashed and collided with my new ones, their pieces from two different puzzles giving me no hope of ever fitting them together.
He gave me a taste of the life I genuinely ached for, and I went along without knowing the cost. How was I supposed to go back and pretend friendship was enough?
I didn’t think I could.
I’d been so wholly immersed in the present that my reality this last week was better than my previous twenty years.
How could he do this? Why would he do it?
I couldn’t stay here. I had to go. I had no idea where, but I needed out. To think. To strengthen the walls around my heart before I faced him.
He would be back soon for breakfast. A breakfast I’d been foolishly awaiting. I started to scold myself, but you know what?
