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Everyone else called out their goodbyes, promising to come by later to visit.
When they were gone, the doctor looked at Ben. “Mr. Kruger. A word with you in the hall.”
“What? Why?” I squeaked, freaking out that there was something terribly wrong and no one was telling me.
“I just need him to sign a form at the desk for the scan,” the doctor replied calmly.
Ben leaned over to kiss the top of my head. “I’ll be right back, sweetheart.”
I watched him follow the doctor out into the hall, my eyes staying on him until I couldn’t see him anymore through the little window.
I should have felt better, right? Apparently, I had a whole group of really great friends, and the news was encouraging. My memory would come back.
So then why did I feel just as worried as before?
11
Kruger
Amnesia. Traumatic brain injury. The look on her face when she asked me if we were more than friends.
I lied. I fucking looked into her trusting, innocent eyes and lied.
I was a bad bro. The fucking worst. Years of planning and effort to be worthy of her just stared into my face and heckled me. Frankly, it was scarier than all those bad horror movies my girl loved that I was so quickly able to undo years of determination.
Whoa. I epically fucked up.
“Doc?” I said the second we were out in the hall.
My mind was spinning. But even as I pummeled myself with an impressive mental beatdown, I focused on her. The urge to protect, shield, and fix everything was so vivid my hands shook with the inaction of just standing here in this sterile hall.
“I wanted to implore the importance of keeping everything as stress-free as possible right now. Your fiancée has been through a trauma, and her mind is still trying to process things. She may be confused at times. She may get some things wrong.”
I nodded, listening intently.
“It’s imperative that her environment is as low-stress and calm as possible. Don’t tell her she’s wrong. Just redirect her. Keep to her regular routine. Too much variety and stimulation can be upsetting. She needs security and familiarity right now. Any information that you give her, new or old, should be simple and easily repeated.”
I swallowed, my stomach feeling hollow and wrung out. “I know what you said in there.” I gestured to the room. “But how bad is this? How worried should I be?”
His face pinched. Dude looked like a dried-up raisin. “Everything I said is the truth. I do not sugarcoat things for my patients. It’s unethical.”
I stifled an eyeroll. “I’m not implying you are,” I countered, gripping the tenuous string I had on my patience. “I just want to make sure I do everything I can to make sure she gets what she needs.”
He was silent a moment. Then he sighed. “While I can’t say that the staff here won’t be glad when you and your group are discharged, I can say it is very clear to me that you love her.”
All of my insides, bro. Everything from the chest down. All of it just dropped to my feet with his words.
He can see that I love her.
You do.
I’m used to hiding it.
Not anymore.
“Mr. Kruger?”
I cleared my throat. “Yeah. I do. Love her,” I said, my ears whooshing because that was only the second time I’d ever told anyone out loud that I was in love with Jess. And the first time was to him too. “That’s why I need to know.”
