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“Maybe I should have you teach me some things, then. I work out as hard as I do because my diet is made up of mostly protein and frozen meals.”
Carter grins. “It’s all about balance. I eat healthier meals because I don’t like working out. I’d be happy to teach you whatever you want to learn, though.”
I pour us each a glass of wine and move closer to hand him his. Once he takes it, I wrap my arm around his waist and lean in to kiss him.
My whole body softens, as if all I needed was his lips on mine to relax. He pulls away far too soon for my tastes. I make my displeasure known with a whimper and lean in to take his mouth again.
Carter chuckles. “If you keep that up, dinner will burn and we’ll be back to takeout again.”
“Fine.” I sigh like I’m put out, but the corner of my mouth quirks up to give me away. Carter kisses my nose, and I grin at him.
He makes me happy.
I move away from him with that thought echoing in my head. It sticks with me as I set the table, and even while we eat the fucking fantastic meal he created, I’m still a little stuck on it.
I was happy before I started hanging out with Carter. Wasn’t I? I have a great job that I love and amazing friends who support me in every way. But maybe that’s just it. I don’t need Carter in my already full life. I want him there. He makes me feel like I’ve got the most delicious chocolate cake in my hands, and I get to eat it without consequences.
CHAPTER 13
Carter
Something is going on in Sam’s head. I’m trying not to let my anxiety run straight toward the negative, but that’s always easier said than done. He’s been extra quiet since we sat down to eat. While he’s participated in the conversation, he’s not going into any great detail with his responses to my questions like he did the other night.
Is it acceptable to ask what’s going on? I’m not sure I can continue ignoring his weird behavior, even if it’s not okay to ask.
I scoot my plate away and reach out to grab his hand.
He looks up at me and gives me a warm smile. Maybe it doesn’t have to do with me.
“Are you happy?”
His question seems to come out of the blue. “Uh, yeah. I would consider myself happy. Why?”
“I just… You… What I mean is… Hmm.”
He looks so cute as he stutters through his thoughts. I can’t say I’m not confused, though. I keep ahold of his hand, needing him to know I’m with him regardless of not understanding where this is going.
Finally, he pierces me with an intensity in his eyes. “I was thinking about how I have a good life, you know? I can’t really complain because I have everything I could need, but when I’m with you… it’s like something clicks into place. I don’t know. I’m probably not making any sense. Just ignore me.”
He starts to get up to clear his plate, but I stop him. “Wait a minute. I think I know what you’re talking about.”
When he sits back down, I attempt to explain how I’ve been feeling since we met a couple of weeks ago. “I’ve always struggled with anxiety. There’s a constant stream of thoughts going through my head that tells me I’m not good enough in every aspect of my life. It’s why I enjoy cooking. My brain can’t dispute the fact that I can make a damn good meal. Being with you feels similar to when I cook. The noise fades away until the only thing I think about is you.”
Sam grabs my arm and pulls me onto his lap. I settle my legs on either side of the chair so I’m straddling his hips. When his arms wrap around my back to bring me closer, I bury my nose in his neck. Everything in my body melts into his embrace. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone in the intensity of my feelings for Sam.
“How is it possible to feel like this when we’ve only hung out a few times?” I ask without moving from my hiding spot on his shoulder.
Sam’s hands run up and down my back in soothing circles. “Experience. We’ve both dated enough to know the signs of a real connection. This, what we’re starting here, is going to be important, Carter. You’re going to be important to me. I swear to you now that I’ll give you everything I have to make this work.”
I sit up, needing to look him in the eyes when I respond. “I give you the same promise, Sam. You’ll have me until you no longer want me.”
“I’m not sure that day will ever come.” He smiles as he leans in to kiss me, sealing our commitment to each other. His tongue sneaks out to lick my bottom lip in a tantalizing caress. I open to him, giving him entry into not only my heart but my body, as well.
My shorts are growing too tight to be comfortable, and while I have no desire to create any amount of space between us, I need more room to do what I want with him.
I wiggle off his lap, keeping my lips fused to his until I have to break the connection. Then I grab his hands and lead him into the living room, where I promptly push him down onto the couch. He lands with an oof and then begins to laugh.
I find myself grinning as I climb on top of him. “I’ve never laughed this much with someone I’m dating. I’m always too busy worrying about saying the wrong thing. You make me want to be myself no matter what we’re doing.”
