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“Are you all right?” I asked her, drawing Deacon’s attention away from my bound cousin.
“He reminds me of her.” She swallowed, refusing to meet my eyes.
I understood her trepidation. Ledger and I looked very similar, so she could probably see the resemblance. Tamra and I weren’t blood related, but I wondered if she could see some of her sister in me too.
The thought made me angry. I wanted nothing to do with my aunt. She’d nearly killed Pearl and used my hands to do it. There was no forgiving that, and I prayed that Estella would understand and not get in my way.
Chapter Fourteen
Pearl
I was positive that Rylan was avoiding me, and I had no clue why. The two attacks had taken a lot out of everyone, which made them grumpy and tired. Even Arden, who was usually unfazed by literally anything, was subdued. Quiet. It wasn’t like her at all, and I wondered if it had something to do with Alder, who seemed to follow her around while also keeping his distance.
I wanted to help, but it was frustrating because I didn’t know how, so instead, I threw myself into taking care of the new wolves. I fed them, listened, and even cried with them. Being controlled took a toll on all of the shifters, leaving them raw and jumpy.
It had been three days since the attacks, and it felt like I was fighting an uphill battle. I did everything I could to distract myself, but I couldn’t deny the longing I felt. I missed my mate. I knew he was doing important work, I understood that, but it irked me that he hadn’t wanted me to be part of the process. I was the Alpha Seeker, after all. The one handpicked by the Moon Spirit to carry out this mission.
“Would you like to come with me to the cellar?” Estella asked, jolting me from my thoughts.
I shook my head. I appreciated the invitation, but I wanted Rylan to ask me, not Estella. I got the distinct feeling that my mate didn’t want me anywhere near his cousin. Ever since we’d captured him, there had been a rift between us that had slowly widened to a gaping chasm.
My wolf pushed forward, urging me to shift with a clawing feeling like an itch I couldn’t scratch. It had been days since I shifted, and my wolf was growing impatient with my refusal.
I rubbed my temples, heaving a sigh as I considered going for a run. If I told anyone they would insist on accompanying me for protection. While I appreciated everyone’s concern for me, I couldn’t help feeling stifled. I needed to get out of this house in order to think.
“If you’re sure.” Estella shot me a sympathetic smile.
She could clearly tell something was wrong. Hell, I’m sure everyone could by now. I was wrung out and snappy.
My wolf huffed, making me roll my eyes at her insistence. Going for a run wouldn’t hurt anything, as long as I stayed close and didn’t attract attention.
“I’ll see you when you get back.” I gave Estella a reluctant smile.
She nodded then turned around and swung the door to the backyard open.
I glanced around nervously, happy to see that the kitchen was empty. Casually, I made my way to the door that Estella had gone through, doing my best not to act suspicious. One good thing about Ledger being locked in the cellar was the fact that I was able to shake my Deacon shadow.
Ever since I met the wolf, he had assumed the role of beta, which meant he handled the things that Rylan couldn’t. It hurt to think that I had become just a thing to be dealt with next to Rylan’s cousin.
Once outside, I hurried away from the cabin. Dusk was still hanging on the horizon, casting the area in a soft glow that was quickly fading. I slowed once I entered the tree line, the scent of the forest reminding me of home, helping to ease some of the tension I felt.
When I could no longer see the cabin through the trees, I stopped, stripping out of my clothes until there was nothing between me and the fast-approaching night.
I shivered as my skin rippled, the need to shift like a siren’s call that I couldn’t resist. My wolf moved forward as I retreated, letting my other half assume control.
The change was swift and itchy. It got that way if I didn’t shift for long periods, almost like my body was just as grumpy as my wolf.
White fur sprouted over my skin while the rest of my body broke and stretched, forcing it into an altogether new shape. My muscles twinged in irritation as I morphed into a wolf.
As soon as the change was over, my wolf shook out her fur, dispelling the annoying itchy sensation. A breeze blew through the trees, rippling through white fur and making us quiver excitedly.
Bounding forward, my wolf sprang into a run, dodging trees, logs, and stumps. Crisp air filled our lungs, encouraging us to move faster until our muscles burned from exertion.
It was… freeing. To do something that wasn’t to help or soothe someone else. A bit of self-care was needed. If I couldn’t have my mate to help me work off this restless energy, then this form was the next best thing.
My wolf harrumphed when I compared shifting and running to our mate. She would rather it be him. While I agreed with her, I couldn’t help but feel like there was an ax hanging over all of our heads. The other shoe was about to drop, and I intended to be prepared for it.
‘I think you’re right,’ a depthless voice whispered in my mind. ‘Things are moving much too slowly. Not to mention all of the stubborn, hardheaded wolves.’
