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“He’d been to business school. He possessed all the business acumen that I didn’t and he offered to help me out with stuff. I struggled with promo, marketing, all the stuff I hated. He gave me financial advice and soon I stopped needing my accountant because he did my tax returns, kept my books balanced and up to date. He didn’t want a fee for this, he just wanted me, so it seemed. I should have realized it was too good to be true.”
Tyler tensed as Holden’s voice wavered but he didn’t stop the motion of the roller covering the wall in bright shiny white paint. “He moved in. I was fucking crazy about him. He made me start to question why I was giving my agent ten per cent of my hard-earned royalties, when he could look after me for free.” Holden laughed bitterly. “Oh man, he saw me coming. I fell for it all, hook, line and sinker. I thought he loved me. I actually thought he loved me.”
Tyler turned slowly on his ladder to look down at Holden who was now seated on the floor with his knees drawn up. He made a small, pitiable figure and despite not being sure anymore if Holden wanted him for the right reasons, or even wanted him at all, Tyler felt moved beyond reason. “I’m so sorry,” he said.
Holden looked up at him with glistening eyes. He sniffed. “The day I found out he’d gone, he’d timed it so perfectly. I was out all day at a book signing. His phone went to voicemail every time I called him. When I got home, all his stuff was gone, along with my jewelry, laptop, the cash I kept hidden at home. I didn’t call the police straight away. I was too humiliated. I thought it was some sort of mistake, or a joke. I was in a fog and I couldn’t think straight. The next day I got a text from the bank. I needed to add funds because my car payment had bounced. I logged in then and saw it.” Holden’s jaw tightened. He swiped at his eyes. “It was all gone. All my savings. I’d never earned a huge amount of money from my writing, but I did okay, and I saved it all, for better things.”
Tyler came down the ladder and put the roller in the tray. It felt insensitive to be up a ladder painting while Holden was spilling his guts this way. He sat down on the floor facing Holden.
“Do you think I’m stupid?” Holden asked in a whisper.
Tyler shook his head. “I think you trusted too much because you’re open and honest and you loved him.”
“No,” Holden said. “I didn’t love him. I thought I did but I was just deceived into thinking that. I didn’t even come close to loving him.”
For some reason, this confession was all-important to Tyler.
Holden seemed to rouse himself. He swiped at his face almost angrily. “So yeah, my house was repossessed by the bank. I’m tied in with my publishers for another book. It’s due in a month. And I haven’t even fucking started it!” He laughed with a note of hysteria.
“What happens if you don’t deliver?”
“They drop me and probably sue me for breach of contract. No other publisher will want to publish me.”
“You don’t have to use a publisher these days,” Tyler pointed out.
Holden sighed. “Yeah, I know.”
“Aren’t you still getting royalties from your other books?”
“They barely cover my living expenses. I had a flurry of sales with my last one and then they dropped within a week. Happens with every book.”
Tyler didn’t know what to say to comfort him. He couldn’t imagine what the panic of knowing you can’t deliver something must be like. That blank page sitting accusing Holden every day. He hesitated before he said, “Then I guess you should ask your publishers if they’ll accept a non-fiction this time and if they say yes, you should go along and see Finn and ask him if he would like to tell his story.” Holden stared at him. “Unless you have that novel plotted away in your head right now and you can get it all down in four weeks?”
Holden shook his head mutely. There was silence. He climbed to his feet. “I think we need more coffee.”
“Sure,” Tyler said. He went back to his painting. Holden was an inordinate amount of time in the kitchen. Tyler had finished the wall and was on his knees painting the baseboards when Holden finally returned with two mugs.
“That was my job,” he said.
“Not a problem,” Tyler replied.
“Here you go.” He placed a mug on the second step of the ladder by Tyler’s shoulder.
“Thanks.”
“I thought you might have run away while I was gone.”
Tyler glanced at him. “Is that why you were so long? Giving me time to run away?”
Holden flushed. He said nothing.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Tyler said, turning his attention back to the baseboard.
Holden took another brush from the table. He crouched, dipped it in the can Tyler was using and started at the other end of the baseboard.
They worked their way in until they met. When Holden had done the last few inches, he got up and drank some coffee. Tyler moved the ladder and started on the next wall. They worked in silence for a while. Tyler was mulling over Holden’s story and he guessed Holden was mulling over what he’d told Tyler or maybe he was waiting for Tyler to start talking about his leg.
When Tyler came down the ladder and started on the baseboard, Holden said, “Would you speak to Finn? Prepare him for what I’m going to ask him?”
