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Holden gave a sheepish smile. “I used to collect. Years ago.”
“Yeah?” Tyler smiled because it had been many years since he’d met a fellow collector.
“Yeah. I have all my stamps somewhere still. I thought about getting back into it not long back. I bought a big bundle of stuff from eBay and didn’t get around to looking at them.”
A surprise package of goodies from eBay was the stuff dreams were made of for Tyler. The thrill of not knowing what you were going to get. “I’d like to see them.”
“Sure. I’ll have a look for them.”
Tyler looked down at the stamps on his hand again. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Do you like them?”
“I love them.”
Holden smiled. “Do you still collect?”
Tyler shook his head. “Can’t afford to.”
“Now you can start again. You’re welcome to take anything you want from my collection too.”
Tyler was thrown. He had been angry with Holden for what he saw as exploitation. Then he had wanted to kiss him, having seen his softer side, now he wanted to hold him for being the generous soul he was.
Instead, he stepped back. “I should go. I need to take my leg off.”
Holden looked disappointed. “Sure. Thanks for your hard work.”
“No problem. Thanks for the breakfast.” Tyler made his way to the front door.
“Your books,” Holden said behind him, holding out the two paperbacks he had given him from upstairs.
Tyler took them. He opened the door and stepped out. Without looking back at Holden, he let himself into the annex and locked the door. Then he went to his bedroom and sat down on the bed with the two books and the packet of stamps by his side.
He glanced at Holden’s novel and then at the other book he’d given him with the army guy on the front. As he looked at it, his mind drifted back to how his lips had almost touched Holden’s. He gave a little shiver. If he started reading this book now, he’d have to jerk off. And maybe Holden would know he’d jerked off over it. If he jerked off, he’d be thinking of how his mouth should have been over Holden’s. Of how their tongues should have entwined and how he should have had Holden beneath him on the couch while Tyler had driven into him until he’d exploded.
Fuck, he was hard. He wanted to go back over to Holden’s house and take what he knew Holden was going to give freely before fucking Amazon knocked on the door. He flicked through the book. Yeah, it was a smutfest. He saw the words fuck, cock and ass on virtually every page. He closed it and took some deep breaths. He wouldn’t jerk off. Not when he could be over there finishing what they had almost started. He shoved the book away from him and picked up Holden’s novel instead.
Chapter Eight
Holden
Holden set off on a walk into town after Tyler had left, resisting the urge to go to bed and jerk off for the rest of the day. He wasn’t that man anymore. He didn’t need to do it until his cock was so sore it hurt to wear underwear, until his hand was stiff and cramped. Those were the bad old days, when it was normal to spend the entire day jerking off before going out at night to find some random stranger to fuck. He still wanted to do it, but his encounter with Tyler had taken the edge off his desire, even though he had been almost mouth to mouth with his wildest dreams. By rights, they should have been testing the bedsprings back at the house by now. Fucking Amazon. He could almost taste the luscious, decadent warmth of Tyler’s beautiful mouth. Could almost feel the satin skin covering hard muscle. He groaned aloud as he walked, his cock hard and suffocating. Not now, not now. These thoughts would lead him straight to hell. He would veer into the first bar he found and fuck the first available hole that gave consent. And he didn’t want to do that, because he liked Tyler way more than he should.
It was his birthday tomorrow. A big fucking birthday, and by rights, he should have been pounded into the mattress by Tyler as the present to end all presents. Instead, he was walking along the dusty road to the heart of Clear Water Creek with his dick leaking and wishing he could stop somewhere to jerk off. Instead, he was going to be alone, hiding out from his shame.
Main Street presented itself to him in all its glory—a row of buildings featuring the bakery, the doctor’s office, the diner and standing alone, Bluey’s bar. Holden hesitated. He could bet Bluey’s was the only place to pick up ass in town. He could also bet his chances of scoring with a man in there were zero. He knew what small towns were like. Going in and making himself available could result in the beating of his life.
He glanced over at the diner. The idea of writing a book about Finn, or rather Finn writing the book with him helping, had come to Holden during the sleepless night after he’d put a stoned Tyler to bed. Now he wished it hadn’t and he certainly wished he hadn’t voiced the idea to Tyler. Nonetheless, the diner was the only place in town to see a familiar face and probably the safer of the two options, even if he could have done with a strong drink right about now. He walked up to the door and swung it open.
The bell rang. A few people occupied the tables and chairs and the booths along the right-hand wall. Jordan, the lad whom Holden had signed the book for, was behind the counter pouring coffee for a woman with red hair. There was no sign of Finn. Holden’s cock was still hard and throbbing for release. He veered into the bathroom, slammed a stall door and locked it. Then he tore his pants open and shoved them and his briefs down to release his cock. His hand felt like paradise around his desperate flesh. He clapped his other palm over his mouth to stifle his groan of relief at his own rough touch. He leaned against the wall as he jerked himself hard and fast and the flimsy structure shook with the movement of his arm. His imagination drew him close to the end in record time. Him face down on the bed with Tyler driving into his ass, pounding him into the middle of next week and calling him a dirty slut. Because he always had to have that element of shame. He knew if Tyler really called him that, if they ever made it to the bedroom, he would be crushed, but this was fantasy. This was the addiction calling the shots and in it, Holden’s humiliation needed to be complete. Which was why Tyler was also doing him bareback, and filming their tryst, telling him he was going to splash it all over the internet. He gasped and grunted, trembling on the line of orgasm but not quite able to make it. Fine. He would introduce someone else. On the bed, Tyler drew out of him and someone else took his place—Jordan, because there was no such thing as too young for Holden as long as they were over eighteen. And while Jordan fucked him, Tyler, Brandon and Finn watched him. He moaned and shuddered as the four men used him one after the other, called him names and slapped his ass. “Yes,” he said, “yes,” as he came all over the wall and slid down to the floor.
Cold and sober, Holden looked at his flushed face in the mirror before he splashed some water on it. How he hated himself. Why did he always need to degrade himself, whether in fantasy or reality? He dried off his face and exited the bathroom, keeping his gaze lowered as he headed for the counter and took a seat, hoping Finn wasn’t working that day.
But Finn was right there. He caught Holden’s eye and smiled. “Hey.”
“Hi.” Holden felt guilty. Finn was hot, but he was taken, and it seemed to Holden that Finn had been exploited enough without starring in Holden’s perverted fantasies.
“What can I get you?”
