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“Sure.” His heart had sunk with disappointment but it was what it was.
“Can I get you anything while I’m out?”
“No, thanks.”
“All right, I’ll see you later.”
Later when? Tonight later or in a few days if we bump into each other? Tyler bit his tongue to keep himself from asking. He nodded and watched Holden go down the hall and close the door behind him. He guessed Holden was only doing what he had done himself last night after the kiss. He had gone away to process it the way Holden was now going away to process the fact they had sucked each other off. It was only right that they both ruminate rather than leaping into the next phase, as much as Tyler wanted to leap into that next phase right now.
His cock was semi-hard again as he thought once more of Holden naked in his bed with his limbs clinging to him as Tyler drove into him. Fuck. He moved out of the kitchen and into the bathroom, whose window didn’t overlook Holden’s. Then he took his dick free and jerked it to full erection while he thought about Holden looking up at him with those dark eyes while his mouth was stretched wide around Tyler’s dick. God, he wanted him. More than he’d wanted anybody for an age. He closed his eyes, panting as he jerked, thinking about Holden’s finger in his ass and imagining being on the receiving end of his cock. He liked that idea as much as he liked the idea of fucking Holden. Especially as maybe it would be a novelty for Holden to do the fucking rather than getting fucked. He liked the idea of their bodies sweatily entwined and his legs hard around Holden’s back as he slid into Tyler balls-deep. Fuck. It was all too much and he came into his hand with a groan.
Chapter Thirteen
Holden
Holden drove into town berating himself all the way. You were going over to say sorry, not to get your cock sucked. He sighed and thumped the steering wheel. The sly voice of his addiction spoke.
You went over to suck his cock, just like you wanted. Just like every man you ever meet. You wanted to be on your knees, him gripping your hair, forcing himself down your throat.
He didn’t force me, he told it furiously. His hand was gentle. He didn’t make me do anything. He’s the gentlest man I’ve ever met. It was a pleasure to do that for him and a bonus that he returned it.
Still, he felt bad that it had happened at all. Hadn’t he told himself to keep his hands off Tyler? Hadn’t he told himself the age gap was ludicrous and wrong? Tyler didn’t need this shit. He still hadn’t decided if he wanted Tyler for Tyler or because he was the nearest available man.
He didn’t want his desire for Tyler to be merely a manifestation of his addiction. He pulled up in a space outside the bakery and sat staring forward. I shouldn’t have done it. He squeezed his eyes shut and put his head on the steering wheel. Get it together. Get it together. He lifted his head and saw Finn standing at the hood of his car. Swallowing, he opened the door.
“Hey.”
“Hi, Holden.”
“You okay?”
“Yeah.”
Holden got out and shut the door. I’m sorry,” he said. “About the other day.”
“It’s okay,” Finn said.
Holden shook his head. “It’s really not.”
Finn trailed a hand over the dusty hood of Holden’s car. “I might be interested.”
“What?”
“I might do it.”
Holden couldn’t believe his ears. “Really?”
“Yeah. Have you asked your publishers if they’re interested?”
Holden shook his head mutely.
“Then why don’t you?”
Holden stared at him. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Come over to the house now. We’ll have a chat.”
“Are you sure?”
