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“I can’t recover the way you can, you get that right? It might take me an hour to recover.”
Tyler smiled. “Then you can suck my dick four times until you get hard again. And who said it doesn’t take me an hour to recover too?”
Holden laughed. He took a last drag of the joint and ground it out under his heel before he stood. “Come on then.”
Tyler fastened himself up, as did Holden. He took a drink of his beer. Holden held out his hand. They walked to Holden’s house with their hands joined.
Chapter Fifteen
Finn
Finn eyed Brandon warily as he headed for the fridge and retrieved two bottles of beer, popping the caps from them. He slid one across the counter to Finn and took a deep drag of his own. “Don’t look at me like that,” he admonished Finn. “I’m not going to slap you around just because I’ve come home and found you in another man’s arms. I could come back and find someone balls-deep in you and I still wouldn’t hit you.”
Finn stared at him. Never had Brandon spoken to him like this in all the time they had been together. “Please don’t talk like that.” He saw the regret on Brandon’s face, but his partner said nothing. Finn scrubbed a hand over his watering eyes. “I said I’d do the book. I started talking to him about Dominic and I got upset. He comforted me.”
Brandon gave a sigh. “And it’s always someone else you talk to. If it’s not Jordan, or Jonah, it’s some down on his luck writer who wants to use you for his own ends. When do you ever talk to me?”
Finn squeezed his eyes shut. He took a deep breath and suddenly the words spilled out. “You want me to talk to you? You want me to tell you how afraid I am to come in your mouth? How I saw the dildo you bought in the nightstand and I remembered how Dom made me fuck myself with one while he filmed it, made me do it in front of his friends, made me sit on it and ride it while I sucked his cock. You want me to tell you how I saw the last porn you viewed on your tablet? Some guy handcuffed while he gets fucked and sucked and I know you want to do it to me, but I remember every time he handcuffed me and how it led to me being fucked by his friends until I couldn’t walk. How I was face down with my hands behind my back so I thought my shoulders would dislocate as he rode me and spanked me and used dildos on me and rimmed me and I pretended to enjoy it all because I thought he would kill me if I didn’t.”
Brandon was frozen, his face red and horrified. Finn couldn’t stop now he’d started.
“I’ve seen the porn you watch and I know the things you want to do to me and I want to let you because I want to please you, but I don’t want to be that guy who lets someone do stuff to him for their own kicks anymore. I want you and me to want it and I want us both to get off and… and…” Finn’s voice broke. “I’m scared. I’m scared you hate the vanilla sex we have and that you wish I was so much more than I am.”
Tears streaked Brandon cheeks. He stepped forward, cupping Finn’s face in his hands. “Now you listen to me. The sex we have is the best I’ve ever had in my life. It’s not vanilla, it’s consensual, loving sex and it blows my head off every time. I don’t watch porn because I can’t do those things to you. That’s not it at all. Sometimes I watch stuff I have no interest in pursuing in real life. You have to believe me. And you can see from my history that I don’t often watch it. But the fact you’ve seen I’ve watched it shows I’ve disrespected you and I need to stop. I don’t want to do anything more than we do now. I don’t have any deep, depraved desires I want to act out with you. I’m not that guy. I’ve never been that guy. Don’t think that I am. When I’m inside you and when you’re coming, it’s the only thing that matters to me. If one day you come to me and say you want to try something new, I’ll say yes. I’ll do anything you want. I never want you to think that you can’t ask me for anything. I’m not waiting for the right time to ask you for anything. There’s nothing I want to ask for. You give me everything I need. I bought the dildo for foreplay, nothing more, nothing less, but it was a bad move and I’m sorry.” He rested his forehead against Finn’s. “I’m so sorry. I want you to talk to me about anything you need to and yet at the same time I get why you don’t want to.”
Finn bit his lip. He wrapped his arms around Brandon’s waist. “I want to do more. We can do more.”
Brandon kept his dark gaze fixed on his. “Not on my account.”
“No, on mine.”
“Tell me what you want then. I’ll do anything for you.”
Finn bit his lip. “How about if I cuffed you with your own handcuffs?”
Brandon gave a small smile. “And then?”
“And then I spanked you.”
Brandon’s pupils were dilating. He ran the tip of his tongue over his lips. “I might be interested. It’s been a while. And then?” His voice was soft and low.
“And then I fuck you with the dildo. To see if you like it.”
Brandon’s hands slid down his back. His palms spanned Finn’s ass and pulled him against his erection. “It sounds like a fine idea to me.”
“It does?”
“Yeah, it really does.”
“Maybe when I see you handcuffed with that dildo in your ass enjoying yourself so much, I’ll want a turn myself.”
Brandon smiled. “Maybe,” he said, “when you’ve loosened me up, you may want to lube yourself up and put your cock inside me.”
Heat fizzled down Finn’s spine and pooled in his groin, hardening his cock. “Maybe I will,” he said and really liked that idea. Brandon handcuffed and Finn in charge of his pleasure. As long as he could see past Dominic doing the same to him, minus the pleasure.
Chapter Sixteen
Tyler
