Page 6 of Missing in Action

Tyler looked down at him in bemusement. He leaned on his crutches on the top step and held his hand out. Holden grasped it. He made sure not to put all his weight on Tyler as he climbed to his feet, then scorned himself. The guy could probably press more than Holden’s body weight, one leg or not. Tyler’s hand was warm and strong. He pulled Holden easily to his feet. Their hands remained joined as Holden made it back to the top of the steps.

“Glad you did that and not me,” Tyler said, letting go. “Would have had you feeling real sorry for me.”

Holden’s face grew hot. His cock was thickening in his shorts. It didn’t take much for the addiction to rear its head. A casual touch was more than enough. “I don’t feel sorry for you. I just don’t want to throw you out, okay?”

They stood face to face, looking at each other. Tyler was a good five inches taller and intimidated him.

“What are you even doing here?” Holden didn’t know why the words spilled from his mouth.

Tyler looked away. “I could ask you the same question.”

Holden laughed without mirth. “You already know my business, right? I’m hiding out.”

“I guess I do,” Tyler said. “And I guess I’m doing the same.”

“Hmm. We should stick together then.” He hadn’t meant to say that. Tyler darted him a look of astonishment. Holden smiled. He was pleased he hadn’t come on to Tyler. Maybe he could interact with him after all without his addiction calling the shots. His cock was still half-hard though. It recognized a handsome man when it saw one.

Tyler dipped his head. He seemed about to say something, but in the end nothing came out. He turned, hobbling away on his crutches.

Holden’s cock was fully hard when he got back inside. He stood at the kitchen sink looking into the annex. Tyler was sitting on the bed again with his back turned. He was holding that red covered album once more. Holden berated himself. What a fucking dirty old man you are. Wouldn’t he be horrified to know he was the object of your affection? Is he even gay? He took some deep breaths, clenching the sink. His rampant libido had taken a nose dive since Leo had left. He hadn’t even thought of sex in weeks, when once it had consumed him above all else. Now he wanted to jerk off and he was disgusted with himself. That merely made his cock harder, because it liked the forbidden and was in charge, more often than not.

He stared down at Tyler. It had to be a photo album, right? Old photos, because who had hard copies of photos anymore? Holden wished he could see the pages. He wished he could talk to and interact with Tyler without his desire getting the better of him. He’d come here to escape the world though, so why did he want to seek out Tyler’s company? He didn’t know. Maybe it was guilt. Guilt at trying to throw him out of his home and guilt at being repulsed by his stump. He’d sunk right down into this hole of self-loathing and he really didn’t think he could get any further down, but to his astonishment, there seemed to be room for more self-hatred. Just great. He should avoid Tyler like the plague. That would be the sensible solution.

Meanwhile, his cock was beyond hard, begging him for just a little touch, no matter how he loathed himself. He ground his teeth, gripping his dick through his pants. Let’s find some porn then. A hot guy who’s not Tyler. A couple of minutes of stroking to send me into oblivion. And make me feel even worse after. I’m supposed to be stopping the porn. It was one of the boundaries I set.

He bounded up the stairs to his office. The laptop had gone into sleep mode. He moved the mouse to wake it up and entered his password. Going to his bookmarks, he chose one of his favorite sites and browsed the video thumbnails, looking for something to catch his interest. Previously he’d jerked off over anything and everything, as undiscerning as it was possible to get. Hell, he’d even jerked off over men with women, because that was hot too, even if he didn’t want to sleep with women. He had though, when they’d offered, because he was an addict and sex was sex. While he moved the mouse, he unfastened his pants with his other hand and took his erection free.

What was that? His mouse hand stopped moving. There. Two guys both in army gear, up against a wall and entwined, lip-locked. Holden’s heart started to beat hard. He clicked play.

One guy was white, the other black, both late twenties, both attractive. The white guy was dark-haired and well built. He looked like Tyler. The black guy looked like Idris Elba. They kissed passionately, all tongues and gasps, hands stripping each other.

Oh God, it was hot. Holden gripped his dick and slid his hard flesh through his palm. The white guy dropped to his knees, pulling the black guy’s cock free and going down on him. Holden groaned as the man bobbed up and down, taking the guy’s dick right to the root. He imagined the black guy as himself, against a wall while Tyler sucked him down.

That wouldn’t happen. It would be too painful for Tyler to kneel at the moment, minus prosthesis. The thought dragged him from his fantasy. He carried on watching, but his thoughts drifted, to Tyler and what he’d be like in bed. Would he take the leg off? Would Holden close his eyes so he couldn’t see the stump?

A knock came at the door. Oh holy fuck.

Holden slammed the laptop lid shut and fumbled his cock away. Shit, shit, shit. He hurried from the office and ran down the stairs. Checking the peephole, he confirmed his visitor was indeed Tyler.

Shit. He smoothed his hair down, checked his zip was done up. Was he flushed? Did he look guilty? Almost certainly. Fuck.

He swung open the door.

“Hi,” Tyler said. He looked awkward and his face was flushed too. Something about him tugged at more than Holden’s dick. “So, I know the place is in need of repairs. I could do some work for you. I’m good with my hands.”

I bet you are, Holden didn’t say. He bit his tongue and tried not to let Tyler’s grey eyes take him back to erection. What the fuck was Tyler doing? He took a breath. “I need quiet to write,” he said, trying to avoid any further contact with this man.

“I can be quiet,” Tyler said. “You can work in another room. Or at my place.” He gestured over his shoulder. He was right about the place needing fixing up, but Holden wasn’t sure he had the money.

He hesitated. Most of all, he didn’t want Tyler in his personal space, where Holden couldn’t control himself, because he couldn’t control himself around any man. Not ever. And now he guessed Tyler was offering his time and skill in exchange for not paying the rent, never mind not throwing him out. Holden didn’t know if that was okay, but he felt sorry for Tyler. He didn’t want to be that bastard he’d been the day they met.

“Why don’t you come have a look around if you think you’re up to it?” He amazed himself. Tyler smiled. He hopped inside on the crutches and closed the door behind him. “Leg still giving you trouble?” Holden indicated that loose flap of material on his pant leg and wondered when Tyler was going to start wearing the prosthesis again.

“Yeah.”

“Do you need to see a doctor?”

“No.”

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