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“The meetings have been set,” he said curtly. “They’re expecting you.”
Zander nodded. “Let’s go.” He stepped outside.
“Wait! Zander!”
He spun around at Scotty’s cry. The younger man got out of bed and ran to him, clad in only his underwear, with bites and scratches on display on his skin. He touched Zander’s face when they stood chest to chest.
“You’ll keep in touch?” he queried softly. “Let us know you’re okay?”
“I will.” Keeping in touch wasn’t a good idea, everybody knew that, but he would find a way. For Scotty. For them. With a gentle pinch to Scotty’s chin, he walked away, closing the door on the temptation to be selfish for once in his life. To forget about loyalties and responsibilities and just be with the men he loved.
The men who loved him.
Because he did. And though they hadn’t exchanged the words, he knew they did too.
He waited until they were back in his room before he told Derri, “I want them taken to wherever they want to go. And keep eyes on them. At all times.” He wasn’t about to play with their safety, not one bit. “Make sure our people know to stay undetectable and not to make contact."
“How could you?”
He stiffened at those shaking words, turning to face Derri.
“You love them, don’t you?”
He released a sigh. “Derri?—”
“No, I want to hear you say you love the fed and the junkie. Because it seems like you’ve forgotten the kind of man you are.”
Cocking his head, Zander asked, “What kind of man am I?”
“Not the good kind.” Derri shook his head with a dark chuckle. “You think because the fed let you fuck him that he loves you? And that junkie would do anything for?—”
Zander rammed his fist into Derri’s jaw, grabbing him by the throat when he stumbled back. “Don’t ever call him that, but yes.” He stared into his ex-lover’s eyes. “I love them, Derri,” he said calmly. With his free hand, he swiped his thumb through the trickle of blood on the other man’s chin. “I love them and I’m walking away from them anyway, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t still deal with anyone who even looks at them sideways.” He allowed a cruel smile to curve his lips. “Jealousy doesn’t suit you, but know that if anything were to happen to either of those men, you will be at the top of my suspect list and”—he lowered his head until their noses bumped—“I. Will. Destroy. You.” He released Derri, shoving him away. “Your only job as of this moment is to ensure that nothing happens to them because if it does…” He inhaled deeply before releasing it. “If it does, you and yours will cease to fucking exist. And you know I don’t bluff.”
Hands fisted, Derri shook his head, expression incredulous. “So, this is what it’s come to? This is who we are now? You’re threatening me?”
“Yes, Derri, threats. Because you’re allowing jealousy to cloud your judgment. I would seriously advise against that.” Turning away, Zander headed for the bathroom. “I’m taking a shower. When I come out, I want to hear your plan on how you’ll get Vince and Scotty where they need to go safely.” He didn’t wait for a response.
He had to be back in Jersey later that evening to meet with allies and enemies alike. It would be a fucking miracle if he survived that. He didn’t need to be worrying about where Derri’s head was on top of everything else. As it was, he struggled to separate himself from the man he’d been while lying in bed with his men and the person he was now. Sliding back into the skin of boss, killer, and leader was difficult. Voluntarily embracing dark and cold when he’d just been wrapped up in light and warmth?
It was an impossible task.
Derri was waiting for him when he got out of the bathroom with a towel around his neck and jeans on. He quickly tugged a t-shirt over his head as he listened to Derri talk. They would never be the same, he and Derri. That was a loss Zander mourned as well, knowing it didn’t have to be that way. On some level, he even understood where Derri was coming from but he refused to allow his ex to get away with anything. Their history would not protect Derri.
“Handle it,” he ordered when Derri was done talking. “Once they’re gone, we’ll head out.”
He stayed in his room while Derri was gone. He didn’t want to risk seeing Vince and Scotty. Risk staring into their eyes and switching up all his plans. They hadn’t asked it of him, but he didn’t know if he’d be able to deny them if they did. Love was a scary thing, wasn’t it? This kind of love, at least, because he couldn’t ever recall being this way, feeling this way, with Derri.
While he waited, he made a call.
“Yeah.”
“Toro. It’s Kian.”
His friend grunted in his ear. “I don’t hear from you for practically forever and now I’m hearing from you back to back? What’s up?” he asked, mild curiosity in his voice.
“Thanks for the help.” He’d known he could count on Toro to handle his mess. He’d sent one of his guys around by the shop to check it out and he’d reported that the place was immaculate. Zander did have to send one of his guys to get rid of Vince’s car, though, because he didn’t want anyone knowing the marshal had been there. “I appreciate it.”
“You gonna tell me what’s going on?”
