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CJ smacked his large hand to his forehead. “Oh yeah. I keep forgetting.”
Lexi shook her head, then turned back to me. “He’s silly.”
“CJ is silly,” I agreed. “But, Lex-Lex, my laptop doesn’t make me sad. I really like my job, but I get sad sometimes because I have to work instead of hanging out with you.”
She squinted her eyes half-closed, sighing with exasperation. “Tat’s why I like whe you go work at da building where Uncle George is. Den you come home and play and eat dinner wit me and CJ, and it’s so fun.”
She was talking so fast that I had a hard time catching all of it, but I’d been listening to her babble since before it formed actual words, so I was able to decipher most of it. CJ stood up, reaching across the table and ladling soup into my bowl. “Enough talking. Time to eat.” He winked at me.
“Welp, Lex-Lex, CJ has spoken. We better eat up.” Since she’d already started, she smiled around a big bite of her sandwich. My stomach heaved as she flashed me a glimpse of the cheesy-gooeyness inside her mouth. Once she looked back down at her plate, I mouthed, “Thank you,” to my daughter’s manny. He’d spared me continuing the conversation with my daughter, and I took a much-needed breath.
I’d tried so hard to do right by my child, but apparently, I’d been failing miserably. How many times had I missed an opportunity to have fun with her because I was so dead on my feet from trying to do this all on my own? Did she think working was more important than her? It wasn’t, but I had to make money to pay the bills and provide for her. She was too young to understand that now, which left me a tangled knot.
Pressure on my hand jerked me from staring sightlessly at Lexi. CJ’s long fingers encased the fist I didn’t even know I’d formed, and he flashed me a reassuring smile. My body heated at the warmth of his skin touching mine, while my heart melted a little that he’d seen and understood why I was upset, and then proceeded to offer comfort. Moisture prickled at the corners of my eyes—making me feel like a ridiculous mushball—but it had been so long since I felt so seen.
Had I ever even felt this with my ex? The reality was no. Looking back, I’d realized that I’d ignored the signs of his disinterest and selfishness. I’d been so damn happy to have a partner, even if he wasn’t perfect. And once he left, well, feeling alone in all things was partly my fault. I didn’t want anyone worrying about me, nor did I want the opinions that I’d heard over and over again since the minute Lexi started walking. The constant chorus of everyone in my court that I needed help. The advice that had led me to this man who took such good care of the most important human in my life, while serving meals that tasted like they’d been prepared by a professional chef. The understanding that shone out of his baby blues was like the cherry on top of a banana split sundae.
I swallowed back a groan. Thinking about CJ’s beautiful eyes…or thighs or his ass or arms, for that matter, was a huge mistake. CJ was my employee, no more, no less.
“Daddy! Why you ‘nore me?”
Looking up, I found Lexi’s and CJ’s gazes focused on me. Her lower lip pouted out in annoyance as he smirked. “I’m sorry, Lex-Lex. Did you say something?”
She cut a look at her best friend that I interpreted as, can you believe this guy? Pinning me with the steely glare of a toddler, which was surprisingly more hurtful than I could’ve imagined before being a parent, she said slowly, “Hurry and eat so CJ will make my sundae. He says have to wait for you.” He became the recipient of the icy daggers shooting from her eyeballs.
He bit back a smile, narrowing his eyes at her. “Would you like it if your daddy finished dinner first, and then he ate his dessert right in front of you?” He exaggerated, shaking his head. “That seems mean to me.”
“I don’t know, CJ. I don’t tink Daddy would mind.”
He tapped his lips with his index finger. “Hmm. I think maybe we should put on our thinking caps. What do you think?”
Lexi pursed her lips, staring a hole right through CJ’s forehead, while I watched on fascinated. What the heck was happening here? Before I broke down and asked, she gave one concise nod, then looked back to me expectantly.
“Uh…”
“After reviewing the situation with her thinking cap, your daughter has decided that we should wait for you to finish your meal before I make dessert.” CJ pointed his spoon at the soup and sandwich combo in front of me. “So maybe you should get on with that.”
Lexi nodded.
“Got it.” Thinking cap? And how had he known her final decision? She hadn’t said a word.
As I swallowed the last bite of my sandwich, CJ rose from the table. So far, he’d disappeared into his room right after dinner. Well, at least he had after that first night when I’d set him straight that if he was cooking for us, I’d clean up. I wasn’t sure what he did up there, but he didn’t leave and go out. We’d never outfitted the room with a television since my mom was a big reader, so I wondered how he spent his time. Did he read, play games on his phone, or did he pass out from exhaustion after spending a day with my little tornado?
“What’re you grinning about?” CJ asked as he set the bowls and ice cream down.
“What do you do all night?” The question launched out of me without thought.
He shrugged. “A little of this, a little of that.” I arched an eyebrow, and he huffed. “I check in with my mom and siblings or my best friend, Eddie. Then I usually read or whatever.”
“Do you want a TV in your room?” Frowning, I added, “I feel like that’s something I should have done for you already. Sorry about that.”
He answered, but he didn’t stop moving back and forth from the kitchen cabinets. “Na. I really only enjoy watching movies or a series if I have company.”
Lexi hopped onto her knees, trying to touch all the fun toppings CJ had put on the table. “Like wit me. We love Paw Patrol and Kitties and Trolls. Right, CJ?”
“You got it, girlfriend.”
She breathed out a put-upon sigh. “I not gurl-friend. I Lexi.”
