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“Duchess,” Syre said, stretching out gently next to his newly hatched baby.
A sob tore from Duke’s chest as he reached out to stroke her little head. Then I was crying too, because she was little and beautiful with her whole life ahead of her. She didn’t know that the world could be a mean cruel place. Delilah and Lane didn’t know it either or the babies growing inside of me. I’d do my best to ensure they kept that innocence.
As Syre and Duke cleaned up their baby, Terrick held me tight. I twisted to lay on my side against his strong chest. With my belly and heart full sleep pulled me under as his heartbeat thrummed in my ears.
Chapter Thirty
Terrick
“You’re still alive, kiddo,” Dad said as we both stared up at the full moon hanging above our heads. “How do you feel?”
“Like I’m at the top of a roller coaster and I don’t want the ride to end,” I shrugged.
“That’s how you should feel at your age,” he chuckled. “Four kids on the way! Sheesh! You’ll need to grow extra arms soon. Too bad evolution didn’t go that way. But how do you really feel?”
“No different than before the moon came out,” I said and meant it.
Not too far away from us stood a giant man and a bull. Only they were spirits too. The man rested his head against the ghost bull’s nose and whispered about Baby Duchess. She was his first and only grandchild so far. Soon, Desi would go on to whatever came next for him just like my dad.
“The bull too,” my hound chimed into my thoughts.
Yep. The bull too. If anyone deserved a rest it was a poor rodeo bull. That would be a hard job.
“Are you sure about this?” I asked Dad.
“No and I never will be. I want to see who Salta grows up to be and to meet your kids. I want to take your mother on a vacation all across Europe. Those things were never meant to be and I’m too tired to keep going. My whole life I was on the go – living it and loving it. I always said I’d rest when I was dead and that was a lie too. So, think about that. Don’t work too hard but live hard every day. Just remember to rest too. Get lots of rest before the babies come.”
“I plan on it,” I nodded, glancing at him out of the corner of my eye.
There was a door not far from us. It wasn’t a normal door of life and death. I’d seen those before. This one glowed and hummed a little song that almost sounded like a lullaby. That was a different sort of door. All three of them were headed off to rest before their next lives.
“Hey, one more thing. Don’t name a baby after me. I know that sounds so ungrateful, but give the kids their own names, okay? Don’t stick them with carrying around the name of a man who passed in childbirth. Don’t make them think of that every time they think of where their name came from. Name them after something happy or beautiful. Make up names that mean nothing. Just don’t stick your children with the weight of the past. That isn’t theirs to carry. It should’ve never been yours to carry.”
“I have the sight,” I shrugged.
“I mean it. Don’t do that to my grandkids,” Dad said.
“I won’t, Dad.”
“I know,” he frowned at the moon. “And don’t let your mother spin too far off her axis either if you can help it. Call Jert, if she does. I know you don’t like him, but he’s a good guy.”
“I know that. He’s just not you.”
“Well, then he wouldn’t be Jert, would he?” Dad laughed, turning to face me.
“No but ---” There was nothing I could say.
Jert couldn’t fill his shoes. No one could. I’d done my best for Salta but I wasn’t him either. The past was set in stone. He was dead. He’d been dead for a long time. This wasn’t his death. This was just what came next. This was the natural progression of things.
“We’ll see each other again,” Dad said. “We’re fruit from the same tree. You’ve done well with Salta. You’ve done well for yourself. There’s so much I could say and so much you probably want to hear, but haven’t we said it all over the years now? You know what you’re doing. You’re good at finding your way, Ter. You make a way where none was before and apparently have some big names on your side too. You got this. No more driving while enraged, but you got this thing called life. This is your second chance. Don’t blow it kid and don’t waste it wishing life were different. My life is over, but with those kids on the way yours is just starting. I love you. I love Salta and your mom. I even love those kids that I hope to meet before they’re born. I love you and you got this.”
He hugged me and for the first time since he died, I felt his touch. That touch that made it all final. This was goodbye. This was the final goodbye. The door glowed brighter as he let go of me and it was only then I saw Syre. He and Desi stood close, leaning against the cow spirit whispering. They never knew each other while both were living. I wasn’t the only one saying goodbye too early to their dad tonight.
Dad nodded at Desi, and they met in the middle of the backyard a meter from the door with the cow standing on the other side of Desi. Syre sprinted across the yard as if to stop them, but he raced all the way to me and took my hand. The others were below our feet sleeping away the last of the night. Syre had just become a father in the flesh, and I was about to become one myself in a few months.
“Don’t start wondering on the whys. They’ll get you nowhere,” Syre whispered, having picked up my thoughts over the group link. “I just about drove myself into the ground with those questions. “Just be in the moment. There’ll be time for all of those questions later.”
I nodded. Dad, Desi, and the bull walked toward the door and it expanded to fit them shoulder-to-shoulder. One hot tear ran down my cheek. He wasn’t alone, but for a long moment I felt as if I was the only one left on Earthside. Even Syre’s warm hand in mine felt hollow.
