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“Yeah, it’s true. So, yes… I do have to be bad.” His throat bobs as he swallows nervously. I can tell he really doesn’t want to discuss it so I decide I’ll bring it up another time.
I nuzzle back into the crook of his neck and he wraps his arms around me. As sleep starts to take me, a horrible thought surfaces.
I’ll have to choose eventually—between what is right and him.
11
Finn
Istare at the ceiling, listening to Kai toss and turn in his bunk below me. I’ve hardly slept more than fifteen minutes at a time before waking up. I give up the idea of a good night’s rest.
Terra is heavy on my mind. She’s really fucking mad at me and I don’t blame her. The look on her face was enough to make me want to crawl under a rock and die. I groan and press my palms against my eyes.
Eventually I get up and look through my textbooks. We’ll be starting classes today and I’m determined to learn as much as I can. I want to be strong like I should have been for Martin.
Now that we’ve had a taste of what the exams are like, I’m committed to doing everything in my power to not let any more tragedies befall us. The only problem is we have no clue what the next exam entails. I highly doubt it will be something as simple as one-on-one combat again.
“Oh, come on.” Kai nudges his elbow into my side. I didn’t hear him get up—I was too lost in my thoughts, apparently. “What are you moping about now?” He glowers at me and I can’t help but smile at his cheap attempt to make me feel better.
He knows what I’m depressed about; we talked about it all fucking night.
A message writes itself in the air in front of our door, scorching the space with bright, gilded words.
All students are to report to the mess hall immediately. Classes are to follow.
Kai shares a shocked look with me before shrugging like it’s just another day.
Everyone is weary after yesterday. To say that the Culling Assessment was draining is an understatement.
There is a sinister aura that hangs heavy in the air, coating my skin with its stickiness. The long tables are filled with students from each House. The Nova House has arrived but Terra, Raine, and Edgar are absent—possibly one of the others I didn’t recognize yesterday too. My eyes lift to the platform where the professors eat, and I notice the destruction professor is gone as well. My stomach twists with rage. I don’t want him anywhere near her, but there’s nothing I can do.
I feel entirely helpless.
Meats of all kinds are displayed on beautiful plates, drenched with sauces and seasonings. There’s bread and coffee distributed liberally as well. Kai scowls at the coffee but takes big gulps regardless. I do too, even though it tastes like shit without cream. I don’t think I can make it through the day without it.
We brought our heavy leather books with us. Each is the color of the student’s house, the Cosmos color being black. A map of Alkrose takes up the first few pages. My first class is anatomy, taught by Nekane. I blow out a breath and glance at Kai’s book; at least we have the same class.
“What the hell are we going to learn in anatomy?” he mutters between bites of his breakfast.
I shake my head. “I don’t even want to know.”
Kai sticks with me after we finish breakfast. The map in the book doesn’t help as much as I was hoping it would, but we eventually find our way to the third floor and locate the long, well-lit hallway crowded with students.
“Corvus!” Kai shouts and his hand shoots up into the air. My eyes find our friend a moment later. His dark hair is pulled back into a short ponytail. Corvus nods at us and makes his way over.
“Cool, now the four of us can—” Kai stops himself. There are no longer four of us. Martin’s lifeless eyes spring back into my mind and I have to swallow a few times before I can speak.
“It’s okay.” I lower my eyes so he can’t see the pain flickering there.
Kai wraps his arm around my shoulder. “It’s not, and it never will be. Sorry for the slipup,” he whispers and my jaw clenches with grief. Corvus raises a brow at us as he stops a breath away.
“What’s wrong?” Corvus asks, looking at Kai.
I glance up at him and mumble, “Everything.”
We stand in silence until the doors start to open. The instructors stand behind them. My stomach tightens as my eyes land on the anatomy class’s instructor, Nekane. This guy has it out for me for some reason, just for being a Solas classed Shadow, it seems.
His red eyes meet mine and I shrink in my cloak a bit, trying to avoid his gaze. Corvus and Kai trail behind me as we walk through his door. Our eyes instantly flash with surprise as we step into a massive catacomb-like library. The walls are made of stone, gray and slick with slime. The air is heavy with moisture and my tongue curls at the acidic sting. The lighting is dim—hundreds of candles burn on the floors and shelves that extend high above. Skulls rest on the rows amongst the books and tomes. Black liquid, long dried, stains the stones beneath them.
