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He’s hiding the wound from me. My eyes drift back to the floor where his boot was and I stare at the blood smeared over the tile. Why does he always pretend to be fine? The mask he wears can’t hide everything.
I walk to his bed, curious to find out if his sheets smell like him. Grabbing a book off the black nightstand next to his bed, I settle in the center and pull the sheets up to my stomach.
He looks back at me but I keep my focus on the book, touching the pages and smiling at the scribblings of notes. It’s written in Fernestian, so I can’t read it, but it’s humanizing to see his handwriting, to know he’s not just a heartless killing machine. His penmanship is good. The curls at the ends of some of the letters make the corners of my mouth turn up.
Elias watches me for a while before deciding to call it a night and shuts off his lamp. He strips his military jacket off and leaves his tight black undershirt on. His pants hit the floor and I finally glance up to see if he’s still bleeding.
His knee has a thick black wound, as if someone stabbed a blade straight through his kneecap. Blood oozes from it, but he doesn’t even bat an eye as he grabs some medical tape, wraps it, and uses a white towel to wipe his blood away.
When he’s finished, he crawls into the bed like nothing happened. I give him a concerned look.
“It’s nothing,” he says, crawling closer to me and pulling me against his chest.
“Why haven’t you healed? Did Dr. Cein do this to you? Who is he exactly?” I say as he wraps his arms around me securely, my face buried in the crook of his neck. His bed indeed smells like him, but with his arms wrapped around me, I inhale his intoxicating ashy scent straight from the source.
He nuzzles his face into my neck and takes a long, deep breath. My hand spreads across his shoulder and I grip his shirt tightly. It hurts that he’d rather suffer alone. It’s been beaten out of him to know anything else.
“Go to sleep,” he whispers. The dim, flickering light of the fire casts a warm glow around his white hair.
“Are you… okay?” I ask softly, trying to push away from him so I can see his expression, but he holds on tight and doesn’t let me move. I take that as his silent no.
It’s different than it was before. Our Shadows don’t jump across our skin together with excitement and lust, feverish for the connection—instead, they circle from deeper within. Like a somber dance, courting and looking further into one another, not just seeking power.
Elias makes a choked sound and pulls away, his brows pinched together tightly. Anguish and resentment flash across his gaze. “I don’t like this.”
I lean back and let my eyes linger on his collarbone. “Don’t like what?”
He reaches up and tugs on his shirt where his heart lies beneath. “Whenever I look at you pain spreads inside my chest. I hate it.” His eyes are distrustful and wary.
“Don’t tell me you care about me,” I say with a light, joking tone, but Elias’s face only grows more severe. It’s sad to think he never learned how to understand his heart. “Tell me who Cein is, Elias. I want to help you.”
Elias stiffens but reluctantly murmurs, “He is the founder of the Shadows. In a way, he raised me.” His voice is devoid of nostalgia; it holds only disdain.
My eyes widen and I find myself clinging to him desperately. “He was the one that put a Shadow inside you as a child?” A lump forms in my throat and air evades me.
A somber grin pulls at my assassin’s soft lips. “I was the first one. He found me when I was living on the streets in Cyprin and gave me a home. Though it came at a price.” His eyes grow distant with memory. “But enough questions, training resumes tomorrow and you’ll be expected to attend classes, so we’ll be up before the sun rises.”
I fight the urge to wrap around him and let my chest connect with his. Raine would be upset if I ditched him all night. I should head back. I stare at Elias for a moment before shifting off him and standing from his bed, heading toward the door with the somber thoughts of a young Elias, alone and tormented by the man named Cein.
“Good night,” I say softly. Elias grunts in reply, not pleased that I’m leaving him to go back to Raine, I’m sure.
The door clicks shut behind me and I think I hear Elias press against it before I start down the stairs. When I reenter my room, Raine is still tangled in the sheets, deep in sleep. I crawl into bed and curl up next to him, threading my fingers through his dark locks of hair and thinking of every possible way we can keep him alive.
14
Elias
My mood is foul this morning.
I had every intention of sharing my bed with Terra last night, but of course, she picked her pet over me.
“Reign it in. You’ll blight half the school at this rate,” I growl at Edgar. He glares at me and curses under his breath before adjusting his feet again.
Raine has all but mastered blocking the attacks; he hasn’t even broken a sweat yet and we’ve been going at it for hours already.
Edgar has been making progress, but at a much slower rate than Terra. By midmorning he has improved enough to keep his blight from spreading, barely, and I’m able to dismiss him to classes before noon. I’ll have to keep working with him in the mornings, but as long as he isn’t attacking anything, which I tell him specifically not to, he should be okay.
Terra and Raine look tired from their late night, but neither of them complains.
