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We stand in silence for a moment. I shut my eyes and change where this discussion is headed for the sake of what we’ve managed to salvage of our friendship.
“At least you figured out how to cast your Shadow in its form. Try to help Kai in the meantime. We should get some rest now, though, okay?”
Finn lowers his chin. “Okay… Can we forget this part of tonight? I don’t want to fight like this.”
I give him a tight smile. “Yeah—we can do that. Goodnight, Finn.”
He watches me turn to walk away. “Goodnight, Terra.”
Finn calls Laphia back to him just before I reach the Nova House door, the exhaustion of the day pulling at me. Without Laphia, darkness falls generously again.
Ash and Edgar’s friends are sitting around the fireplace, talking in low voices. Aervin is safely seated next to Rowan. I don’t spot Edgar amongst them and concern pulls at my conscience.
They hush when they notice me.
“Have you seen Edgar?” I ask, hopeful that he’s in his room and I can check on him. But they all shake their heads. “Okay, thanks anyway,” I mutter before walking back up the flight of stairs to my room.
I flop on my bed and stare at the ceiling. Where has he been? He’s been so absent and far away in his mind. I hope he’s okay. I laugh a bit at that thought because it’s certainly not funny.
Of course he isn’t all right—none of us are.
19
Edgar
Isimmer in my thoughts during lunch. It’s been over a week since we came to Alkrose. Everyone acts like this is the new normal. Is that truly what they all want? Even Terra seems content here; she seems to have made up with Finn already too. I stare at my cup of tea, somewhere else entirely in my mind.
Lucina startles me by grasping my hand. I flinch and look up at her; those bright blue eyes are filled with worry.
“I’m fine,” I mutter, already knowing she’s going to ask me what’s wrong. What isn’t wrong? So much is wrong that it’s beginning to feel right. I’ve discussed this with Vinnie many times over already. He feels it too, the acclimation to the horror.
Lucina lets out a sigh. “Can we at least be civil again? You’ve all but shut us out this week and I don’t think keeping yourself locked away with your Shadow is helping you.” Her hand trembles beneath mine. “Please?”
She draws out the last wisps of kindness in my dying heart. I don’t want to be alone, does anyone? Not with my ghosts, at least… I grip her hand tightly and she lights up with hope.
“I’m trying,” I manage to say convincingly. No. No, I haven’t been trying, but maybe I can. Maybe it isn’t too late to try to patch things up. To weave my friends and sister back into my heart.
Lucina smiles, those bright blue eyes so distant with the turquoise Nova blight covering them. “Okay, good,” she says softly before pouring us more tea.
Rowan and Vinnie swap anatomy notes across the table since Rowan’s been struggling. Not to be morbid, but I doubt Rowan will survive the second-semester exam. He hasn’t been able to summon his Shadow or speak with it, not to mention grasp any of the subject matter in our studies. We all heard what went down during the Culling Assessment, and the parameters of the next exam have yet to be released. All I can hope for is that we get to be on teams.
The days still go on, though, content and quiet for the most part. Everyone will be satiated until it’s them on death row. We’re slowly being consumed and digested by this castle filled with dark, promising magic.
As we enter the study hall on the third floor, the long-haired blond professor, Kallos, dips his head to each of us. I level him with a scowl to let him know I still don’t trust a lick of what he’s trying to impose on us. His golden eyes narrow with a smile as he studies me closely. I know the professors have an agenda for each Nova as they do Ash—their prized ponies, each to serve a purpose.
I’ve yet to discover what my purpose is to them. Terra’s is a bit clearer. Being a time wielder, she holds great power. I wonder if, as she unlocks more of her powers, she’ll be able to control more time, reverse more than just one’s injuries.
Kallos has six bars on his face—three on each side of his mouth as if someone’s stitched him up, making his smile haunting and eerie. He looks god-like. A shimmering and precious jewel of Alkrose.
“Still angry about your predicament, Eldridge?”
I roll my eyes and clench my jaw at the professor. “Of course I am. Aren’t you?”
“No—you’ll find it’s much harder to keep the fire burning inside yourself than to just let it simmer out,” Kallos mutters indifferently. I don’t like that answer, but what am I supposed to do about it?
The classrooms in Alkrose aren’t as lavish and shiny as the rest of the castle. There are five rows of desks with simple chairs tucked neatly under them. Dark shadows shoot to the farthest corners of the walls as Kallos raises his hand and the shades on the immense windows open, a trick he’s performed daily. It still awes me.
He is an emissary of light itself.
