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I find myself staring at the back of his head the entire way to the blight grounds, wondering what Arthur would be like if not for Alkrose.
27
Terra
“Terra. Wake up.”
I wake from a dreamless sleep and meet Raine’s soft blue eyes.
“Raine? What are you doing?” I sit up and rub my eyes, groggy. It’s still dark out and feels much too early for class. Four weeks at Alkrose is enough to get a schedule computed into your system.
He tosses my white cloak at me and I barely catch it before he mutters, “Arthur’s study is next. Do you have the note?”
I yawn and try to shake the tendrils of drowsiness that tug at my mind. “Yeah, give me a second.” Arthur would likely have told me if he was the one who wrote the note, and I doubt it’s him since he’s the one who sent me looking in the library. Unless this is all some game to him and he’s a sadistic bastard, but I really doubt that’s the case.
I clasp my moon brooch to secure the cloak around my shoulders and turn on my desk lamp as I rummage through the top drawer. The note is tucked between my anatomy and Shadow riding books.
Raine smiles when I hand it to him and we sneak out into the hallway as quietly as we can. The entire tower is silent. The crackling, flickering light of the eternal blue fireplace gives us barely enough luminance to see.
I’m pretty sure Arthur’s study is the first door I passed when Elias took me to his room. We silently make quick work of the staircase, stopping at the first door we reach. Raine presses his head to the wood and listens for a few agonizing minutes.
I’m so tired—between private tutoring with Arthur, classes, finally breaking into the Ekko House and crossing Nekane off the list, and practicing after dinner each night with the boys, I could sleep for an entire year. Not to mention rebuilding my relationship with Finn, avoiding Edgar, and messing around with Elias and, apparently, Arthur. But above all is the stress and lingering dread that each passing day brings us as we inch closer to the second-semester exam.
Ugh.
“There’s no one in there,” Raine whispers and tries the doorknob. To our surprise, the door opens. He glances at me and I nod. We’re already committed to doing this, so we’d better do it quickly.
We slip inside and quietly shut the door behind us. It’s pitch black and I feel around the room until I stub my foot on something and muffle the ow that instinctively comes out of my mouth. My hands fumble upon a lamp a moment later and a dim light illuminates the room.
“Well, this isn’t what I expected,” Raine says a little louder than a whisper.
The room is completely empty, with the exception of the oak desk and a meager lamp in the corner. The room is devoid of dust but there’s nothing in here that would lead me to believe it’s Arthur’s study or that he even uses it.
“I guess he has another office where he keeps his things,” I mumble as I check the two drawers on the desk, both empty. I try not to think too much about the professor and what he and I did together. My cheeks are already warming at the mere mention of his name.
Raine groans and slides his hand over his head as a troubled look spreads across his face. “Sorry I woke you up for this.” He looks at me with weary eyes. He never tells me if he’s in pain. I know he doesn’t want me to worry, but still.
I shake my head. “It’s fine. I was hoping you’d stay with me tonight anyway, so let’s go back. And maybe we can use this room for something since it’s empty, you know?” I try to see the positive side to the situation since I’m still mildly annoyed with Finn for saying I’m a negative person.
Raine tilts his head and looks around at the four blank walls. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. In Barkovah, I had a room that I used for all the operations and to keep things straight with the lookout swaps.” His eyes are heavy and dark underneath. I slowly lift my hand to his cheek, waiting for him to pull away, but he doesn’t this time. My palm presses against the cold hollow of his cheek and he shuts his eyes. “Every time we try to find information, we take ten steps back,” he says in a defeated tone.
“We’ll find something soon. We can’t give up. Are you okay?” I gently try to get him to open up to me. The torment behind his eyes hurts deep inside my chest.
He considers me for a moment. “It’s nothing—let’s get back to your room.”
I don’t take that as an answer, maybe because I’m tired or even because I think he'll feel much better if he just says it. Holding darkness inside only allows it to fester and infect parts of you that aren’t yet broken.
He steps toward the door, but when I don’t follow him, he glances back at me, his brows pulling together in question.
“Stop icing me out, Raine. You don’t let anyone in. Doesn’t it hurt? Aren’t you tired of protecting the things that infect your mind so feverishly?” I ask with bated breath. He stares at me like an empty man, offended and scared of the feelings he’s buried within himself. “Let me in.”
Raine takes a significant step toward me. I take a couple back until my legs bump into the desk. He leans over me, setting a hand on each side of my body and bringing his face close to mine. Our noses touch and I inhale his crisp scent, a cold, damp storm.
“You want in? The dark isn’t for pretty little things like you, babe.” His lips coast mine softly, sending goosebumps up my arms.
“I’m adept in the dark—you aren’t the first man to take me for a walk through it.” My lips curl into a soft grin. Raine raises a seductive brow as his fingers gently glide up my stomach and back over my ribs. My skin comes alive with every brush of his fingertips. Heat coils inside my core and I swallow eagerly as he chuckles, pressing his lips to mine.
His hands maneuver under my thighs and he lifts me up, setting my ass on the edge of the desk and moving closer until his torso is pressed against mine. Our kisses are starved, each of us demanding more with each nip, suck, and coax of our lips together. My fingers glide over the scar on his lower jaw and he groans as my tongue urges his lips to part.
