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I turn calmly toward the front of the castle. “I’m not a child.”
“Three.”
I don’t hear him count the rest because I’m already inside Alkrose and walking through the foyer. I need to tell Edgar, even if he refuses to speak with me. I need to tell him.
The front door opens loudly. I glance back and find Elias running straight for me.
“Are you serious?” I say under my breath and charge up the stairs. A few students move out of my way and watch with their books clutched tightly in their arms as Elias surges after me.
What’s he going to do if he catches me?
I decide I’m not going to find out.
The corridors are packed as everyone heads to the mess hall. It’s a mandatory gathering. If I can evade Elias long enough, he’ll have to give up first. I’m sure he’s expected to be in attendance more than I am.
I hook a few lefts and a right, then ascend two more flights of stairs. The fourth floor is pretty empty since most of the classrooms are on the third level.
My pace slows. I don’t see or hear Elias behind me. I let out a triumphant breath and make for the sky garden in the center of the castle. It’s open and devoid of anything a space like this should have besides benches and a fountain that is dry as bones. I take a seat on one of the stone benches and try to catch my breath.
The air is cold and stings my lungs, but the view of the stars that linger above is worth the chill. A nostalgic smile tugs at my lips. Edgar and I used to stare at these very stars. Two dumb kids. And now… A tear falls down my cheek and I swallow the lump in my throat. How did we end up here?
A heavy hand weighs down my shoulder and Elias’s white hair and gray eyes enter my field of vision, covering the stars beyond. His anger has vanished but blood still lines his soft lips.
His brows twitch with uncertainty. I like him best when he tries to understand what emotions I’m feeling. His jaw flexes as if he wants to speak but he keeps losing the words somewhere along the way.
“Please don’t place more casts on him,” I whisper, more to the stars than to the assassin before me.
His eyes narrow with anguish, warring with something beyond my knowledge. The black of his tactical vest looks almost blue beneath the universe, his white cloak seeming to glow with the moon’s iridescent light.
He walks around the bench and kneels in front of me, his ashy and woodsy scent making this feel like a night camping in the woods. Stargazing. What I would give for it to be only that.
I don’t look down from the stars, not until Elias carefully trails his fingers up along my neck and threads them into my hair. He presses his thumbs to the hollows of my cheeks and guides my jaw down until I’m looking into his eyes.
There’s more pain in them than I thought he could ever show. I see a man who’s lost so much more than he ever should have. A man who knows what it is to have everyone you love stolen from you. He’s spent his entire life building these walls.
“Elias,” I murmur, our lips so close that they brush as I speak.
He tilts his head forward until it's pressed against mine. The warmth of his skin spreads heat through my chest. Velis and Amser pull so desperately that my stomach tightens into knots.
“I’m sorry,” he says curtly, like the two words hurt to say. My eyes widen and his brows arch with vulnerability in response. Pressed this close together, I can only see his eyes. “It is beyond me, but I promise it is better this way. You know not the creature you’re trying to keep. It needs to be sealed away,” he whispers again, this time pressing his lips against mine and pulling me into him. His hand slides down my neck, burning my skin where he touches me as our Shadows make each movement unbearable.
Elias deepens the kiss, pushing his tongue into my mouth, and the flavor of his blood blossoms on my tongue. I grunt at the taste, but he just pursues me more viciously, running his other hand down my chest and gripping my hip tightly.
“I hate the things you draw from me. The things you steal away,” he says into our feverish kisses. “You drive me into utter madness.”
I moan as he bites down on my lower lip. My own blood spills down my chin. Never in my life did I think painful, violent kisses could be so erotic. He sucks on my lip and groans as he devours me. If anyone saw us right now, they’d think we were consuming each other, eating one another like starved creatures.
Perhaps that’s truly all that we are.
He releases my lip and pulls back, dragging me off the bench and laying me on the cold stone bricks of the sky garden. His mouth is smothered in our blood and I’m certain mine looks no different. This is how I imagine his true self is: feral and fucking hungry for humanity. I wonder if he sees the same creature staring back at him.
A pool of black smoke spills from him and cushions the ground beneath me. Elias lowers his head down to my neck and nips my skin gently as he unzips my jacket. His cold hands smooth over my breasts and make my nipples harden. Warmth pools in my core and I let out a moan as he lets his teeth glide across my collarbone.
“I told you I’d punish you if you pushed me again,” he says with anything but the rage he met me with earlier. I want to be as angry at him as I was ten minutes ago, but I can see it in his eyes that he’s up against a wall. Nothing I do or say will change that. I will still warn Edgar though; it’s the least I can do.
“How are you going to punish me?” I goad him.
He chuckles darkly and leans up on his forearms, one on either side of my head. His smirk is chilling and yet I find myself squeezing my thighs together with anticipation. “Oddly, I can’t find myself in the mood to punish you. Not when you look so small beneath me.”
