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“I wish I would’ve left with you that day. I regret so many things in my life, but none as much as that day. I should’ve taken your hand and ran blindly into the unknown. Love would’ve been all we needed.” Finn’s voice cracks.
Words evade me, and I’m not sure there are any that would suffice for the topic. So I settle on squeezing his hand tighter and leaning into him more.
The sun is rising above the mountain tops by the time Raine steps out of the infirmary.
Dark purple rings color the skin beneath his eyes. He looks at us in silence, his eyes landing on Finn’s sleeping hand clutching mine.
Raine offers me his hand, his once royal-blue eyes now a dark gray-blue. I slowly untangle my arm from Finn’s and take Raine’s hand. We walk down the hall silently. I only glance back to see if Finn is still sleeping. His head is leaned forward, arms resting in his lap. Alone, he looks like a grieving man who’s fallen asleep against a gravestone.
Once around the corner, Raine stops and looks at me like he has terrible news. I ready myself to hear the words that Edgar has passed.
“He’s going to live,” Raine mutters and pauses. The dread only grows as I wait for him to say more. “But his face… and his friends—” He cuts himself off and shakes his head slowly, not meeting my gaze.
I saw his face before he went in there… It looked like he was wearing a half-skull mask, his teeth bare and skin torn at the edges. So much blood. I swallow and nod slowly. “I know. How many of his friends died?” This is going to ruin Edgar.
“Tamaris, Alani, Rowan, and Vinnie. Four in total,” Raine says in a hushed tone.
My stomach curls. All faces that I’ve grown used to seeing in the Nova House over the past few months. “He’s already so lost in the darkness… This is going to destroy him.”
Raine firms his lower lip and looks away, unable to meet my gaze.
“We should get some rest. The second exam is only a week away and we’ll need all our strength,” Raine says as he combs a hand gently through my tangled hair.
I shake my head. “I’m going to see Edgar first. You head back. We can start training after we sleep.”
He seems hesitant but dips his head before pressing a kiss to my forehead and leaving. I make my way back to Finn and lean down, threading my fingers through his soft black hair and brushing it to the side. His amber eyes slowly open as if he was having a nice dream. I’m jealous of the small reprieve he’s had.
“Did someone come out?” he says in a groggy voice, rubbing the dreariness from his eyes.
“Yeah, Raine did. I’m going to head in and see Edgar now.” I don’t want to ask him to join me, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hoping he’d come anyway.
Finn stands, pressing his back against the wall to slide up. “Let’s head in then.” His fingers find mine and he gives me a weary, reassuring smile that bleeds into me.
“Thank you, Finn.”
He squeezes my hand and we walk through the infirmary doors.
Only three beds are filled: Edgar, Lucina, and Aervin.
Lucina and Aervin have smaller wounds, not life-threatening, but they’re bandaged nonetheless. They’re sleeping heavily, I suspect with the help of a potion.
Elias stands at the foot of Edgar’s bed and glances up at us as we approach. He doesn’t look bothered one bit, though his emotions have always been hard to read. His black tactical gear is drowned in red and his skin is sticky with blood. “If you look at him, you’re going to be upset,” Elias says without sparing us a glance.
I grip Finn’s hand and step forward anyway.
Edgar’s sheets are smeared with mud and blood. His arms are hooked up to tubes and bags of liquid. My throat is tight as I stare down at his fleshless jaw.
“Why won’t it heal?” I ask as metallic flavors bloom across my tongue. Shadows usually heal non-mortal wounds quickly.
Elias’s eyes drift up to me and Finn, resting on where our hands are clasped. “The black fire that Darkfly wielded was laced with his Shadow’s ability to stave off healing. We can recover from daggers and wounds from other Shadows, but wounds that are embedded with malice are different. A sort of poison for other Shadow vessels. Haven’t you been paying attention in Nekane’s class?”
I don’t respond—I only stare at my brother with a pit in my chest.
Edgar’s dark brown lashes are pressed tightly to his cheeks, fluttering with dreams.
I hope they are good ones. When he wakes up, I’m not sure what will be left of his heart.
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