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“How was that?” She asks with a calming voice, pulling the anxiety in me.
“It was okay, until my brother and a blonde were sitting there. Then my ex boyfriend showed up. Turns out the blonde was the ex's new fiancee. Oh, then George had the audacity to approach me and tell my daughter that he was her uncle.” The entire story flows from me like the water behind a dam that just broke.
I tell her everything that has happened since our last meeting three months ago. I go on an as needed basis, and mandatory quarterly visits.
About West and him coming here, us showing him what Moses Lake has to offer. How my life is so vastly different than his. About how I'm feeling, the marriage, telling McKenna.
Then I switch to my father showing up and she holds a hand out to stop me. “Let's break there. Digest what you've told me. You kind of just skimmed the feelings part with West.”
“I'm just catching you up.” I shrug, leaning back against the couch. I don't really want to talk about these feelings, even though I know I should. I'm a hot mess express, and this woman is the only way off the tracks.
“I understand that, and we'll come back to your father. But first, how do you feel about West just showing up?”
“I was shocked. I figured he just said those things to me to have some fun before getting married, then he showed up at my house.” I drop my hands to my thighs, making a soft clap sound. “Then he stayed, not pushing to tell McKenna that he's her father, not pushing me to have feelings. He's just here, to learn and understand us.”
“No, to get to know you, he's missed four years of his own daughter's life. Have you considered how it would feel to find out one day that you've had a kid for four years and you never knew she existed, your best friend never telling you. The betrayal and heartbreak he could have felt?”
“Are you my therapist or his?” I ask lifting a brow.
“You pay me. But you pay me to help you, and you need to see things from all angles to understand them. This is his angle.” She makes a point. The who/what/when/where/why of it. Especially after coming to terms with the instabilities I have.
I think about it a moment and realize she's got a damn point. Damn she's good. He spent four years living his life never knowing she existed, and then to have his world crash around him with a few harsh words from my dickhead brother. I swear, I'll punch George in the face for this. I thought George told him and that he just didn't care.
“You told me that you thought he knew, and then you took it back. You never knew if he knew. And the fact that he didn't broke you a little. I bet you've asked yourself, ‘what if I tried harder?’”
“Yes, several times over the years.” I nod.
“And?”
“And nothing, it didn't happen. Facts are real.”
“So are feelings, Katherine, the ones you've felt, lived, and breathed.”
“But what if I don't know what I'm feeling?” I say, grabbing my chest, “What if it's wrong and he leaves again?”
“The heart wants what the heart wants. It's why you've never had a serious boyfriend in the three years I've known you. It belongs to someone already.”
Damn her.
I pop up off the couch, “The rest will have to wait. I have somewhere I need to be.”
“You better hurry along then dear.” I leave before she finishes the full session, as I can’t stick around here asking her how I feel or what to feel when I know. I’ve always known.
Chapter Twenty Four
Westley
There’s a certain amount of awkwardness that happens when you sit at the kitchen table with the father of the woman you’re in love with. Especially when he knows that we have a daughter together now. McKenna is off in her room, playing with her toys while we just sit here waiting for Katherine to get back. I tap my fingers against the table as I try to look anywhere but at him.
“So, you have a daughter,” he states.
“Yup.” I reply, popping the p. This is definitely awkward, dammit.
“And, you’re married to my daughter.” His fingers dance on the table.
She’s been gone for around an hour, and I’m just a little uncomfortable. I mean I’ve known this man my entire life, he was like a second dad to me. So why is this so awkward?
Maybe because you fucked his daughter, got her pregnant and then fucked right off to college and never called her. Even when you found out you were married. Stupid inner thoughts are killing me right now.
