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“But I can’t remember the last time I was this happy and calm.” Clint let out a sigh, tilting his head back and finally leaning away from the flames. “I can remember, actually, but I never thought I would get that again. You’re a good friend, Scotland.”
“But a shitty Dom,” said Scotland, pressing his lips together. “I can’t count how many times I’ve been dissed for being a switch, but maybe they were right all along. I can’t be both—not really. I can’t submit as much as a natural submissive, and it’s the same with Dominance. I’ll always have that little spark inside telling me to do the exact opposite.”
Clint nodded, his gaze locked on the fire. Scotland wasn’t sure when he’d looked back, but he couldn’t seem to keep his eyes away for long. At least he was farther back in his seat now and not teetered on the edge like he was ready to dive in at any moment.
“Tell me about it,” said Clint. “When I discovered kink, I’d thought I’d finally found somewhere I truly fit in, but that didn’t last long. I didn’t think any Dom would ever want a boy who sometimes wanted to be the boss. It seemed no sub wanted a Dom who chose to kneel on occasion. You’re not a shitty Dom, Scotland.”
“I didn’t do right by you.” As soon as he said it, he knew it was true. Clint’s entire stay had been a clusterfuck of pushing boundaries that should have been left alone. “I never should have fucked you, knowing that you weren’t in it for the long run. I never should have started this fucking fire.”
He knew he wasn’t talking about the flames—and maybe Clint did, too. There was something burning between them, and he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to put it out. “I never should have kissed you.”
Clint cleared his throat before reaching into the package of cookies and chomping down on a chocolatey edge. “For the record, I’m glad you did.”
What? Clint had resisted him nearly every step of the way. Where the hell was this coming from? Scotland stared at him and the slight swell of his lower lip. All it would take was a single move, and he could feel them again. Somehow, he knew Clint wouldn’t stop him this time.
“I thought of something,” said Clint, running his hand through his hair. “I’m surprised I didn’t think of it earlier.” He turned until Scotland could see the flush on his cheeks. “You know I scened with Cutler, right?”
Those rumors had spread through Unkinked like a contagion, courtesy of Maddy and Keady. He nodded, swallowing the jealousy that instantly threatened.
“Cutler is a friend.” Clint’s throat bobbed as he swallowed.
He hadn’t thought they looked that friendly the last time he’d seen them speaking. Rumor had it that Keady had almost been kicked out of the club, and Cutler had had words.
“Okay.” Scotland reached for a cookie of his own as Clint slid the package his way. The marshmallows were open but most of them hadn’t been touched, their sweetness filling the air.
“So…” Clint raised one brow before licking his lips and catching a stray bit of chocolate. “We’re friends.”
“Yeah,” Scotland said slowly. “We just talked about this. We’re friends but nothing more… Oh.” He widened his eyes, giving Clint another look. How the hell am I going to do this?
On one hand, he wanted to yell out ‘yes’ and kiss Clint right there, but the pang in his chest stopped him.
“I don’t want you to get hurt, Clint. I’m talking about an emotional hurt.” He cut off whatever Clint was going to say with a wave of his hand. “I need a personal connection with my partner, and I think they need that, as well. It’s too easy to get wrapped up in kink and forget about what’s more important.”
“This is personal,” said Clint. “You’ve been following me around for months, and hell, I’m practically living with you right now. I know you aren’t going to walk out on me after a scene or a fuck. I trust you.”
When he’d started the fire, he’d been hoping to offer reassurance, not drown in the deep end. His heart could only take so many hits before it gave up for good.
But maybe Clint was right. It wouldn’t be perfect, but if they were friends, at least he could be there for Clint in whatever way he needed. Hell, some friends were even closer than married couples.
“But I thought you weren’t ready,” said Scotland, the final tether of hesitation holding strong. “Ross—”
“Would want me to have this,” said Clint, tilting his head to the sky. Sun washed over his face, his freckles standing out with vibrance. “He loved me, even if he was an asshole. He always knew what was best for me. Something’s telling me that this is best.”
Maybe he believed in heaven, Scotland wasn’t sure, but it didn’t matter. Love like that didn’t just fade away, and it wasn’t something that was ever forgotten or replaced. He’d never had a chance. But I can’t walk away.
“Let me think about it,” said Scotland, letting out a huff before grabbing another cookie. “We’re going out tomorrow night—you and me. I’ll have an answer for you by then.”
Clint grinned, every engraved worry line relaxing. Fuck, he was beautiful. I have to say yes. He clenched his hands into fists, willing his Dominant side to stay strong. He wasn’t telling Clint. I’ll see how long it takes him to figure it out tomorrow night.
Chapter Fifteen
Clint
“I’ve been here before,” said Clint, eyeing the apartment building. It was his kind of place, with a lived-in worn look and a menagerie of busted cars in the parking lot.
Places like it were always more real than the shiny newbuilds, and the people could hide nothing from their neighbors, who were only a few inches of insulation away. A fight would be known by everyone in a few hours, and you always could tell who fucked the best.
“I used to live a block from here,” said Clint, pointing down the street that was still so familiar. “I used to eat at that restaurant all the time before I learned how to cook more than spaghetti and soup.”
