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But how can I when he saved me, and now I feel safe around him?
“Water,” I answer.
He beams, eyes creased lightly. “Okay.”
I point at my kitchen, and he sets off to work. I rest my back against the sofa, feeling amused at the absurd situation I've found myself in.
He comes back with a glass of water and hands it to me. He sits next to me, albeit creating some distance, making me feel flustered. His eyes still rove over the apartment. He looks like he belongs here, sitting on my sofa in his white shirt and loosened tie.
I take a sip of the water, hoping I'm able to hide my flushed cheeks.
“Are you feeling better now?” He asks, his eyes still looking at me with concern.
I manage to smile despite my flustered state.
He lets out a sigh and clasps his hands together. “I know this is none of my business,” he starts, and I look up at him. “But don't you think you should inform the cops about him? I fear he might come back.”
I shake my head, disagreeing. “There's no need for that. I'm sure he won't be coming back.”
Reporting Kendrick to the police means he would probably end up in jail with the kind of lifestyle he lived. Hanging out with drug addicts and always involved in a fight. I can't do that to Cara, his mom. Cara took care of me as if I was her daughter. She's part of the reason I even lasted eight months with him.
“You sound so sure.” There’s hesitation in his voice.
“Even if he comes, I can take care of myself,” I assure him.
He frowns, obviously not convinced. “I know that. But I doubt that guy would give up on you easily. He seems highly obsessed with you. Like he would do anything to get you back.”
“And why do you care?” I ask the question that has been bothering me since I saw him again.
He shifts in his chair, looking shocked at the question.
I realize how rude I sound, so I tried again. “I mean you never cared for me, why now?”
He stares straight, gathering his thoughts. His dark hair catches the light. The silence is not tense, though, and it is not entirely uncomfortable. Though, there’s a weight to it—a depth of things still unsaid. I want to break it, to cut through the quiet and ask again. But I wait patiently.
It feels like an eternity before he finally speaks.
“I saw you as a potential threat to my sister. I thought you had an ulterior motive for befriending her. I tolerated you for her sake but could never warm up to you because of my suspicions.” His voice is low, deep, and quiet.
I suddenly remember what Nala told me about her brother years ago. She explained that Chris categorized people and treated them based on whether he deemed them worthy or not.
He doesn't bother to treat people he doesn't trust kindly. Not caring if they dislike or fear him. Those he deems trustworthy though, he’d go to the ends of the earth for them; perhaps beyond.
I fell into the untrustworthy category. “I guess I wasn't deemed worthy enough for your respect,” I say.
He winces and meets my eyes. Surprisingly, his eyes are full of remorse. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have treated you that way. You were just a child, and I, being an adult, should have known better.”
He runs his hand through his hair, and I find myself thinking about doing the same to it. Wondering if it would be slick and smooth in my hands if I do so.
He lets out a bitter chuckle. “I was so silly and foolish. I thought everyone was out to get something from us. I thought you were friends with Nala out of selfish interests. I even had you followed.”
My eyes widen a little in surprise. “You had me followed?”
He nods, and his eyes become tinged with something I can’t entirely read. “I was that paranoid. You weren't the only one. And even after not seeing anything to question, I still treated you like shit.” He bites down on his lower lip. “And for that, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I did to you. I know an apology won't fix anything or take back the hurtful words and things I did to you. But I will keep trying to earn your forgiveness no matter how long it takes.”
I hold my breath, my heart thundering in my chest. I have always prepared myself for any unforeseen circumstances. But I'm not prepared for this. I didn't see this coming. I don't even know how to react.
His usual poker face that makes him look grumpy and unapproachable is gone. Because right now, I see so much more. His vulnerability is so open and so clear.
