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Relief pours over me like the calm ocean waves, and it threatens to overflow from my eyes. I’m speechless. It’s one thing to hope, and it’s another thing for the hope to come true.
I clench my fingers tightly and gnaw down on my bottom lip to stop my heart from exploding with joy.
“Can we go see her now?” Nala asks.
“Yes, you can but only one person at a time so the nurses can monitor her. She's still unconscious.” The doctor leaves and Nala claps her hands in excitement.
“She's alright. She's alive.” She embraces me and holds my hand, pulling me towards Gianna's room. I yank my hand back, earning a raised eyebrow from her. “You don't want to see her?”
“I just feel like nothing good ever happens whenever I'm around her,” I say, tears threatening to fall. “I'm just a curse to her, a thorn in her side. I don't want to hurt her anymore.”
“Are you telling me you're not going to see her again?”
“I don't deserve to see her,” I say, resigned. “If you were me, wouldn't you feel guilty? How can I face her after all I've ever given her is pain and suffering?”
She huffs. “Fine, but just know you are not only going to hurt yourself but her as well. Is that worth it?” With that being said, she walks away.
It seems like hours before Nala rushes out, smiling with tears in her eyes.
I rush to her in panic. “What's wrong? Is she okay?”
She nods and wipes her tears away with the back of her hand. “She's awake now and wants to see you.”
Her words sound like music in my ears. Tears fall from my eyes unbossed.
“Will you still avoid her?” she asks.
I shake my head, “No, I can do it.” I force my legs to move forward. My nerves are all over the place, and I can’t help but smile through tears. Because the love of my life made it.
My fingers are shaking, and my knees are trembling as I place my hand on the doorknob. I perform a breathing exercise to calm my racing heart.
It’s now or never, and I know I have to do it. I step in and slowly close the door, trying to make as little noise as possible. Then I turn and I see her.
My heart hurts at the sight of her. My eyes trace her beautiful features. She looks so thin, pale, and small under the bed sheets.
The person who is supposed to be lying on that bed is me, not her. I don't think I will ever be able to forgive myself.
Her face is turned to the other side, and I can't see if her eyes are open from where I'm standing. Out of instinct, I take a few steps closer.
She slowly turns her head. Green eyes stare back at me, making my heart flip.
“Chris?” She’s smiling.
Chapter 23
Gianna
The unpleasant smell of antiseptics and bleach infiltrates my nostrils. The first nerve on my finger twitches, and it's numb.
There's peace in the darkness of my own mind. It's tempting to stay like this, but my body is already awakening.
My mouth feels dry and bitter. I really want to brush my teeth right now. My right arm feels numb, as if someone or something is resting on it.
I finally force my eyes open. The white ceiling is the first thing I see. Is this heaven?
The room is too white and quiet, and the only sound I hear is something beeping and someone sniffling.
I look down at my arm and see familiar small and beautiful hands gripping my hand firmly but gently as if I'm going to disappear.
