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I’d planned a surprise for her, and that’s why I wasn’t at the bar tonight. Even though we’re not officially dating—although in my mind what we have is beyond casual—I need to start acting like we are. If I’m not going to be somewhere when she expects me to, I need to let her know why.
“I was getting you something, and it took a while.” Her eyes study me long and hard, no doubt searching for the truth. When she slides the helmet down over her head, I think she’s found it. I wasn’t lying to her. But again, her trust isn’t going to be earned overnight. Not after what I did to her. So I need to be patient, and I need to do everything in my power to start showing her that she is my world and I am utterly in love with her and totally committed.
She climbs onto my bike, and I take the seat in front of her, gripping her arms and wrapping them around my waist. Her head rests on my back, and it’s the best feeling in the world. I’ve dreamt of this moment since the day I got my bike. I wanted to have her, my woman, riding with me. Holding me. And loving me the same way I love her. I turn the key, and the low rumble soothes my nerves. And then we’re off, and I’m taking my girl to the place where I first told her I loved her. The place where she gave me her first kiss and so many more after that.
I turn down the old dirt road and feel her arms tighten around me. Even in the dark she knows where we’re headed. When I get to the end of the road, I park and hop off my bike. Maisy stays seated in her spot, and I’m worried I should’ve taken her someplace neutral. Somewhere where she wouldn’t be flooded with all the memories. This place only holds my most cherished memories, but that might not be the same for her.
“Baby,” I say, turning her to face me. “If you want, I’ll take you someplace else. I wasn’t trying to upset you by bringing you here.”
She looks up at me. Once again, tears are shimmering in her pretty eyes, and my chest tightens to the point of pain. “Why did you bring me here, Ice?”
I move in and grip her cheeks, brushing her soft skin with my thumbs, soaking in every inch of her beauty. “Because it was always supposed to be us, babe. This place is where our story began. And I hope it’s where our never-ending story will start its next chapter.”
Her lip quivers, and I brush my thumb over it, wanting to soothe her nerves. “Ice, I don’t… I don’t think I can do this. It hurt too much. It still hurts. And I’m not strong enough to go through it again. I won’t survive it.”
I remove the helmet from her head and lean down, pressing my lips to her tearstained cheeks. Trailing kisses down each side until I reach her sweet mouth. I place a kiss over her perfect soft lips and press my forehead to hers, looking deep into her eyes.
“Baby, I should have said this a long time ago, and I’m so sorry it took me so long to get my head out of my ass and find the courage to do it, but I’m sorry, baby. I’m so fucking sorry for what happened that night. I was so drunk I don’t remember a thing, but I know that wasn’t an excuse back then, and it’s not an excuse now.” More tears spill down her cheeks, and I brush them away, wishing I could brush her pain away along with them.
“It was never her, babe. Amber wasn’t the one I wanted. She meant nothing to me. I honestly can’t believe I would touch her even in a drunken state. I was so goddamn in love with you. I am so goddamn in love with you that it hurts. It hurts so bad, baby, not to be able to call you mine. Not to be able to hold you and have you with me all the time. Not to have you tell me every damn day how much you love me.” Damn, do I miss hearing those sweet words fall from her mouth.
“I never took that for fucking granted, baby. It was like my day wasn’t right until I heard those words from you. And ever since you walked away, ever since I fucked up,” I quickly correct, “my days haven’t been right. Not a single one has gone by when I haven’t wished I could go back to that one fucking moment when I dropped you off at your doorstep and, instead of leaving, begged to come inside and just hold you. It’s my biggest fucking regret, angel.” Damn, if that isn’t the understatement of my life.
“I know I can’t go back in time and change that moment, but I am asking for a chance to change our future. I’m asking for a second chance, Maisy. But this time, I promise nothing will stand in my way. Nothing and no one will ever keep me away from you. This time, I promise that unless you decide you’re done with me and kick me to the curb, I will be by your side every step of the way. I love you, baby girl. And I want it all with you. A future, kids, grandbabies. I want everything, and I only want it with you. I’m so sorry, babe. Please give us a chance.”
She bursts into tears, and I move in, tucking her into my chest. Feeling my own wave of emotion wrack my body. I hold her until she’s all cried out, clinging to her as if my life depends on it. I’m scared she’s going to walk away. Terrified she won’t choose us because the wound is too deep and the damage too devastating. I don’t want to take another breath without her. I can’t.
“Baby,” I say, raising her head to see those same beautiful eyes that captured my heart the moment I saw them so many years ago. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on inside your incredible mind. It kills me to see you like this.”
She shakes her head, and I wipe the tears that keep spilling down her cheeks.
“Why did it take you so long, Ice? Why didn’t you come to me sooner?”
I take a long, ragged breath and sigh. I’ve been asking myself that same damn question, but deep down, I know why. “I’ve never been afraid of anything, babe. Not even the nasty shit I’ve seen on the streets or the evil monsters I’ve encountered on account of being in this club. But when it comes to this.” I point between us. “To you and me. I’m fucking terrified. I’ve been scared shitless you would reject me and I’d be locked out of your heart and life forever. That fear has been holding me back, along with the fact that I didn’t know how to get through to you. You’ve hated me for so long, babe. I honestly didn’t know if there’d come a day that you’d actually be willing to hear me out. If there would come a day when you wouldn’t look at me with pure hatred in your eyes.”
She shakes her head. “That’s where you’re wrong, Ice. I never hated you, although I tried and really wanted to, but I couldn’t. Truth is, I’ve always been in love with you. I just don’t understand why you didn’t fight for me. If it was a mistake, then why did you start dating her the next day?”
Because I was a fucking idiot. I should have shown up on Maisy’s doorstep every damn day and gotten down on my knees to beg her for forgiveness, but I didn’t. It’s another regret I’ve lived with. Another terrible choice that haunts me day in and day out.
“I was so buried in the pain.” I shake my head like it will erase the memory, but it doesn’t. Nothing ever erases the nightmare of my mistakes. “I couldn’t believe I’d done what I’d done. I was devastated over losing you, and so fucking lost, baby. Amber tried to offer me comfort, and I took it because I needed the distraction. I needed someone to pull me out of the miserable pit.” But all that girl did was sink me deeper.
“Two months later, I finally snapped out of my pain-filled stupor and woke the fuck up. That’s when I broke it off. But you need to know that I never felt anything for her. And I’ve never felt anything for any of the girls I’ve been with since. The only one who has ever gotten to me where it counts”—I point at my head and then grip her hand and place it over my heart—“is you. You’re the only one I’ve ever loved. You’re the only one I will ever love.”
She sucks in a shuddering breath as she stares at our locked hands. Damn, I should have come to her sooner. All this time, I’ve been sitting with my tail tucked between my legs, and all this time, she’s wanted me. Needed me. Loved me. I’ve been such a damn fool. Well, that shit stops now.
“Baby.” I tip her chin up to meet my eyes. “I’m sorry for that night. I’m sorry for not fighting for us then and for waiting so damn long to figure my shit out. And I’m so fucking sorry for all of the pain I’ve caused you all these years.” She reaches out and brushes my cheek, wiping away the tear that had slipped out. “Tell me what I’ve been dying to hear for so long, angel. Please tell me you’re mine. Tell me that you’ll give us another chance.”
She shifts forward, reaching her arms up around my neck, and I lift her from my bike, wrapping her legs around my waist. When her mouth moves in and slowly molds to mine, giving me a kiss, my fucking heart explodes. She’s not running. She’s not shoving me away. And I’m pretty damn sure by the way she’s trying to mark me with her tongue that she’s keeping me. At least I hope that I’m not reading this situation wrong and that she isn’t just trying to make this about sex again.
I pull back, needing to hear the words and make damn sure I’m not misconstruing shit. “Babe, put me out of my misery. Please.”
She looks up, and the cute little smile that forms on her cheeks along with the gleam in her shimmering eyes is all the proof I need, but I still wait with bated breath for her to answer.
“I’m yours, Ice. I’ve always been yours. And I always will be.”
Damn fucking right she is. I lean in, dropping my mouth to hers, kissing her good and thorough. Only backing off when I hear her struggling to catch her breath.
“Now, give me those other three little words, babe.” My heart needs extra assurance after living in fear for so long. I need to hear the words I used to long for to get through my day.
