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I crack my neck so I don’t crack my fucking phone. “Yep. Crystal.” As soon as the words are out of my mouth, the line goes dead.
“Motherfucker!”
“You want to come inside and have a chat? I think it’s about time you unload that weight on your shoulders, Grit.” I jerk around at the sound of Trigger’s voice and see him leaning against the wall. I wonder if he’s been standing there the whole time and how much of the other end of the call he was able to hear. It wasn’t as if Bentley was talking at a normal level.
“Yeah, I could use a drink.” I nod.
We both head into the clubhouse and straight to the bar. The place is dead since it’s late, and I’m thankful for the quiet and the privacy. I go behind the bar, grab two glasses, and fill them both with whiskey. I slide one across to Trigger and bring my glass to my mouth, swallowing its contents down in one gulp. I pour myself another, but this time, I only take a sip before placing it back down and staring at the brown liquid like it will give me the answer to the meaning of life and all the shit going on in mine.
“I’m guessing there’s something you’re not telling me about Officer Dickwad. And I’m guessing that something is the reason he doesn’t want you near the girl you’re in fucking love with. Am I getting warm?”
I nod and take another sip, feeling the burn coating my throat and coating my gut, but doing nothing to coat the damn pain in my chest.
“He and I were best friends for a long fucking time.” I shake my head at the fact. “Since we were kids and played ball together.”
The shock on Trigger’s face is expected. It’s a fucking shock to me, too, especially since Bentley despises me now. I’m sure it’s a shock to Trigger because the guy he knows is an asshole and would never be considered a friend to a Savage Knight.
“I had a shit upbringing,” I admit. “My parents’ two favorite pastimes were snorting coke and beating the shit out of me. Bentley saved me from them more times than I can remember.” I grip my glass, thinking about all the times I could have died if it weren’t for Bentley showing up and getting me out of that place just in the nick of time. I toss back another sip as that memory burns through.
“Anyway, when I turned eighteen, I got the fuck out of that place and moved out on my own. Then two years later, Bentley’s parents died in a car crash, and the tables turned. I no longer needed his help, but he needed mine. I moved into his house and helped him raise Hailey. She was fourteen and going through typical teenager shit, and he was in the academy trying to get to where he could give her a solid future. He was run-down and ragged, and she was depressed as shit over losing her folks, but somehow, we all got through it, and we all came out stronger on the other side.”
I smile, thinking back to my sweet little angel and how she’d light up every time I entered the room. I knew she had a crush on me back then and thought it was sweet, but she was a kid. I’m obviously not a sick fuck, so I didn’t pay it any mind. I just made damn sure she felt loved and protected, and that there was always a smile on her face because she was my family. They both were.
“The night before Hailey was heading off for college,” I continue, pouring Trigger another glass because he needed a chaser to stomach the taste of what I just shared. “She was so fucking sad and miserable. She didn’t want to leave. She was only going off to school because it’s what her parents had wanted and what her brother wanted for her. But if she’d been choosing for herself and not trying to make everyone else happy, she would have stayed right here.” Damn, I wish she would have. Then maybe none of this shit would have happened.
“Anyway, I held her that night while she cried and ended up falling asleep in her bed at some point. The next morning, her brother came in and saw her half-naked body draped over me and got the wrong idea about what had happened. He thought I’d touched her and was pissed as hell.”
Honestly, I couldn’t blame him. Had she been my sister, I would have reacted the same. “I told him nothing had happened, but he didn’t buy it because he knew Hailey had feelings for me. He thought I’d acted upon them and had taken advantage of her, and then he started wondering how long I’d been taking advantage of her. He started accusing me of shit and pissed me the fuck off. So when he told me to stay away from her, I did.”
I wanted him to trust me again. I wanted him to believe nothing had happened, that I’d never fucking do that to her. To them. And I kept my distance for as long as I could. But then Hailey begged me to come see her, and I caved. We’d been talking on the phone every day while she was gone, and my feelings were starting to change. I’d practically wait by the phone for her call. And when she did, I never wanted to get off the line. I wanted to talk to her for hours. She was fun, and light, and made me forget about all the bad shit from my past, from my present, and the shit I knew was coming in my future.
“I was miserable without her,” I continue. “So when she asked, more like begged me to come for a visit, I agreed. But, of course, she went off and told her brother I was coming out because they share everything with each other. And the next day, he was paying me a visit.”
I shake my head, thinking back on the moment my best friend, the one I called family, was at my door with a loaded fucking gun pointed right at my head. I hadn’t even been shot yet and had never felt that much pain in my life. Nothing. Not even the shit my folks had put me through compared to Bentley telling me that if I ever touched his sister again, which I hadn’t even done in the first place, he was going to kill me.
“He threatened to take my life if I ever visited her. And by the look in his eyes, I’m pretty damn sure he would’ve followed through with it. Since he’s a respected cop and I’m a Savage Knight, I’m pretty sure they’d believe his self-defense claim, and he’d get off scot-free while I was buried six feet under.”
“Hell will fucking freeze over before we let that happen, and you know that, Grit.”
Trigger’s furious tone and the lethal look in his eyes is exactly why I joined the club. This is why I call these men my family now. We take care of one another, and I know every single one of them would have my back if shit went down. That’s another reason I’ve followed Bentley’s orders—well, until tonight, that is. I don’t want any of my brothers to go down in flames because of me and my personal shit. That shit’s on me, not on them.
“I know, Trigger. I know I can always count on you guys. The truth is, my girl truly does deserve better than me. She deserves a Prince fucking Charming to come in and give her a fairy tale. She’ll get a fucking nightmare with me, and I’d never let that happen. So yeah, I may be fucking in love with the girl, but she’s better off without me. Whether she realizes it or not.”
Trigger shakes his head. “That’s some sorry-ass shit you’re spewing right there, Grit. You’re a good man, and that girl is in love with you. So maybe you should let her decide for herself what she wants. Because my guess is she wants a man who will love and protect her and sacrifice anything to make her happy. My guess is you are her fucking Prince Charming, and she’d be happy living in a shack with you rather than in a mansion with some uptight asshole who thinks his shit don’t stink. The bottom line is that it’s for her to decide, not for you to choose for her. Because if you take the choice away from her, you’re both going to be miserable for the rest of your damn lives.”
“Really?” My jaw locks tighter. If only it were that fucking simple. “And how do you think she’s going to feel if she has to decide between me and the only family member she has left in this world? Because that’s what will end up happening. She’ll have to choose between Bentley and me, and I refuse to force her to make that choice.”
“I’ll tell you what. If that girl knew what Officer Fuckface was really like, that choice would be a damn easy one to make.”
“Not a fucking word, Trigger.” I cut him off with a warning glare. The son of a bitch whose big mouth has a way of getting him into trouble better not share a word of this with Hailey. I don’t want her hating Bentley. They need each other, and I’m never going to come between them. Which is exactly why I need to keep my fucking distance.
Only problem with that is now I’ve gone and crossed a line with her. Based on my words and actions tonight, I’ve given Hailey the impression I want more. It’s all I want, but that’s beside the point. But now she’s probably off thinking there’s something brewing between us. Dammit. I let my dick do my thinking for me tonight, and now I’ve made a big fucking mess and will end up hurting her once again. Tomorrow night, I’ll have to figure out how to let her down gently so I don’t lose her entirely.
“My mouth is shut,” Trigger states, zipping his lips with his fingers like they’re sealed. Damn, I’m hoping like hell they are. “But my advice to you stands, Grit. You want her and she chooses you, then the rest of it will fucking work itself out. And the next time Officer Dickhead threatens you, you tell him that the Grim Reaper himself will be paying him a visit if he tries that shit. You got me?”
I nod and fill our glasses one more time. He just gave me the kick in the ass I needed because I will never let Hailey face the pain of losing the only family she’s got left in this world. Therefore, I’ll never give Bentley a reason to make good on his threat.
CHAPTER 5
