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“I got you a weighted sweater as well. I’m not sure if it’ll do anything, but it doesn’t hurt to try when you have to be out of your nest.”
I was so tempted to switch to online classes and work on them from the comfort of my nest, but part of me was afraid if I did that I would never leave my room again. The only way I was going to get back to normal was to behave as if everything already was.
I didn’t have to like it, but I did have to do it.
I entered the clinic with a lightness in my step, feeling like I was greeting an old friend when the same receptionist I remembered waved happily to me.
“Lovely to see you, dear. Ready to select your helper this time?”
“Is Sidney available?” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop myself. Way to play it cool.
“I’m sorry, dear. He’s already booked with another client so he’s not available for you.”
Disappointment sank like a stone in my stomach. “Oh.”
“We have plenty of other lovely heat helpers waiting for you to choose them. Come with me and we’ll see who we can find.”
I followed Muriel, dragging my feet like they were made of lead. I didn’t want anyone else.
She left me alone in the room with all of the canisters like the last time, except now each of them were illuminated by a different color beneath them. There was a chart on the wall to tell me what color meant. Green was for available, blue was for anyone added to the system since I was last here, and red for ones that had been firmly rejected or were unavailable.
Glutton for punishment that I was, I reached immediately for the handful of ones lit up in red, searching through them for the only scent I craved.
He took my knees out from under me just like the first time I’d scented him. My stomach clenched, my pussy flooded, and a pitiful groan formed on my lips. I shouldn’t have done that. Every nerve in my body lit up like fireworks; all of the longing and desire I had tucked away over the past year roared to life with the potency that brought tears to my eyes.
“The red ones are unavailable, dear.” Muriel’s voice came across the intercom.
I hastily shoved the other canisters back, but had to wrestle with myself to uncurl my fingers from Sidney’s. I didn’t want to put it back. A few pushes on the button of the scent release had his scent soaking into my shirt. I buttoned up my jacket to trap it, feeling a bit like I was going to get caught for smuggling some illicit substance at any moment. I replaced the canister on the shelf and forced myself to look at the other options.
Not a single one of them did much for me, so I settled on the three that smelled best even though they didn’t give me nearly the same reaction as Sidney. I had to come to terms with the fact that I wasn’t going to get to have the experience I wanted. He was with someone else this time. I wasn’t territorial so much as I was sad. Would I have preferred he have only me for the rest of time? Absolutely. But I knew what his job was and I was mostly okay with that. I’d be a lot more fine with it if it wasn’t a roadblock to having him for my heats.
Next time, I promised myself. Next time I would ask in advance before anyone else could book him. The faster I got through this heat, the closer I would be to seeing him again.
Honeysuckle and ginger caught me like a slug to the gut. Carla saw the look on my face a moment before catching the scent herself.
“Shit,” she mumbled, and pushed me into one of the offices and closed the door. “I’ll let you out when she’s gone.”
I pressed my forehead against the barrier keeping me away from what I hadn’t realized I still craved so deeply.
She’s here.
My omega.
Take her.
It was coming up on two years since I had seen Allie. Dr. J had meticulously kept us apart at my request, but Allie must’ve come in unannounced today. My nails curled against the door as if by will alone it would shatter and let me go to her. All I had to do was turn the knob. She was closer than she had been for a long time and I hadn’t expected all those days between us to evaporate into nothing. She was a memory burned into my muscle, every inch of my body prepared to take her back to bed and claim her like I wanted to. It was too soon.
The legal barrier wouldn’t be gone until a couple months after her heat was over. If I saw her now it would restart the clock. I couldn’t be her nurse, couldn’t be her heat helper, couldn’t take the risk that I wouldn’t be able to control myself when we came face-to-face. Sure, I couldn’t bond her unless she went into heat, but with how taut my body was, and how loud my instincts were screaming, I was liable to throw her over my shoulder, and take her home to wait until she was in heat so that I could make her mine.
Dr. J had put me to work at one of the other clinics whenever Allie had an appointment here. They kept me away for days at a time so that the ghost of her scent would be unable to haunt me.
All I wanted was a glimpse, but I wasn’t strong enough to give myself that indulgence.
Next year it would be different.
“I’m sorry, he’s not available.”
“Sidney?”
