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I feel the wild urge to grab his shoulders and shake him. “That’s not what I meant. What I said earlier, I was lying. I didn’t think someone like you could be into someone like me.”
“That’s ridiculous, Ollie. I already told you how I felt about you.”
“I know, I know. But my ex… he never wanted to be with me, not the way I wanted with him. I never told you because I wanted to forget him, and I thought I’d put it all behind me but clearly not. I found out he was cheating on me the same night he broke up with me.”
That gets his attention. He’s frowning, hands clenched into fists by his sides.
“Why are you telling me this now?” he asks, voice clipping on the words.
I shrug, sticking my hands into my pockets. It’s cold up here. “To explain myself? He used to tell me nobody could love a freak like me and that I was lucky he allowed me anywhere near him. He would ask me to do his homework and withhold his touch if I said no. I guess I got used to the idea that I don’t deserve that kind of affection.”
And then I met Wesley, who not once has ridiculed me for being who I am.
“I know I can be a bit oblivious,” I continue, gaze flickering to stare out at the mountain. “But I didn’t think you liked me that way. I know better now, though, and I— I like you, Wes, and I realized that I want something more than rubbing myself against you like a horny dog. Though,” I pause, grinning at him. “That was fun, and I’d like to do it again sometime. If you’ll let me.”
If I haven’t ruined everything.
Wesley is staring now, open and unabashedly, that lovely blush deepening his cheeks. He surges forward until he’s towering over me, and I have to tilt my head to look into his eyes. My stomach flutters.
“Are you sure you want to do this? With me?”
“As sure as I’ve ever been,” I say solemnly. “I want to be with you.”
He looks at me in disbelief. “You just figured this out now?”
“I think I’ve known for a while, but I didn’t want to admit it. I’m sorry for putting you through that, Wes. You didn’t deserve it.”
I lick my lips, watching him track the movement. But I can’t touch him, not yet. I need him to know I mean it. Looking back on it, we’ve practically been together for three years, never leaving each other’s side. I feel safe around him like I do with nobody else, I was just too scared to see it before. Being near him feels right and I want to chase that for as long as I can.
I’m tired of being scared and anxious. For the first time since my ex broke up with me, I’m ready to live my life.
Wesley reaches out towards me but stops himself, his hand lingering in the air.
“I can’t believe this is happening,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. “It feels like I’ve been holding myself back for so long, I’m almost ready to burst.”
I grin. “I can help with that.”
“Do you know what you do to me? You’re a menace, Oliver Gray.”
“I know,” I say. “But I want to be your menace.”
Wesley wraps his arms around my waist and captures my mouth with his. His skilled tongue licks me open until I’m panting against him, clutching at his shoulders to keep myself from toppling down the mountain range. His lips are chapped but soft and the inside of his mouth is warm. I lose myself in the feeling of him curling protectively around me, shielding me from the worst of the winter cold.
When we finally pull back, our faces still pressed close, snowflakes dust the tips of his eyelashes.
“It’s snowing,” I say against his mouth. “What if we get snowed in again?”
“What a shame that would be,” he says, not sounding regretful at all. “Whatever shall we do with all that extra time?”
“I can think of a few things.” I stand until I’m on my tiptoes and press a kiss to his nose. “I like you, Wes. A lot.”
He’s smiling in a way that makes me feel faint. I steal another kiss, warmth flooding me at the feeling of his smile against my lips.
“Come on,” he says. He lets go of me and grasps my hand. “Let’s get back and warm up.”
I waggle my eyebrows at that, and Wesley rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling as he pulls me back to the cabin.
*
