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The smile I offer doesn’t fit quite right. It stutters as if I’m forcing it, as if I’m forcing me.
“You’re taking over his company?” Penelope stops digging, turning those big brown eyes up at me, and the force of what our future could be hits me so hard, I almost stagger.
The two of us, together in this harbor, every summer, playing tag in the sand with kids in need of friends and guidance. We’d build castles that get washed away by the high tide and collect enough shells to decorate every inch of our house. They’d fall into all the cracks and crevices of our waterfront home—the one she always wanted, and I’d tell her I’m sick of stepping on them, when really, I’d never want to stop finding the little treasures that remind me of her.
“I mean, yeah. Some day,” I say eventually.
But suddenly, I’m not so sure.
She stares a second longer before gathering more shells. “That’s great. That’s really…”
Her unfinished thought hangs between us, her disappointment palpable.
I’m hesitant to tell her about my father’s plans for our project here. I don’t always agree with the choices he makes, but what am I supposed to do? Turn my back on him after everything he’s done for me? Risk him taking his fury out on not only me, but Penelope, too?
“What are you going to put in your jar, Nellie?” Mable asks.
Pen sits back, brushing sand off her lap while the breeze threads through her hair and the sun kisses her shoulders.
I’m not the only one enamored by the woman. The children in our half of the group give her their undivided attention, waiting patiently as she gathers her thoughts.
“I’ve been searching for myself for some time now. It’s confusing not knowing what you want when you’re my age, to not know where you belong.”
Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, Pen lifts her gaze to where her sister is walking on the beach, scavenging with the others for items to put in their jars. “Like you guys, I don’t have anywhere that truly feels like home. And it’s easy to put on a brave face, isn’t it? To go out into the world and be pretty, and smiley, and pretend to be something or someone you’re not, when all you really want is to find somewhere you fit in.”
“You belong here, with us,” Brantly says, matter-of-factly.
Her smile wobbles when Mable inches closer. “Yeah, you’ll always have us, Nellie.”
Tarra, Brantly, Mable, and the others crawl over, wrapping their arms around her, and I’m in awe of them—a misfit queen with her misfit children gathered at her waist.
Penelope looks at me, eyes shimmering as if she’s only just realizing it’s true. These kids, what she’s doing here… This is her purpose.
This affection they share is as foreign to me now as it was when I first fell in love with her. It’s why I was greedy with her friendship then, protecting it like a fragile link that was far too easily broken.
An unexplainable force crushes my chest like coal being pressurized.
All she ever wanted was this. And I’m such an asshole for telling her I didn’t want any part of tying myself down to someone because that was a damn lie.
Mable kisses Pen’s cheek before scurrying over to me.
“Shh, I gots a secret,” she whispers before holding a finger to her little lips. “Come on!”
Unable to deny her, I follow her tiny footsteps down the beach to where she says she saw a colony of faeries. I kneel with her, offering my jar as she gathers scoopfuls of sand and driftwood debris.
“Promise you won’t say a word?” she asks once it’s half-full.
“Cross my heart.” I draw an X across my sternum.
Mable beams at me. “I like you. You’re nice and pretty.”
I chuckle, knowing damn well I’ll be rubbing that in Declan’s face later. “You’re nice and pretty, too.”
When I stand, Penelope’s discovered us, and she’s nosily peeking at Mable’s secret spot.
“Oh, no.” Her eyes widen.
I turn in a rush. “Run! I’ll keep our cover.”
