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If I just take a moment to breathe, I can sort this out. I can find a way to reinforce those crumbling walls of mine and still protect myself.
“Pen,” he murmurs, lightly tugging my fingers.
I grip my glass harder. Resisting, resisting… “I can’t.”
I’m frozen with fear. Terrified to acknowledge what’s happening between us—hell, what’s been happening, despite every consequence we’ll face—but more than that…
I’m terrified I may feel the same.
“Look at me, Penelope.”
When I finally find the courage to lift my eyes, there’s nothing and no one but the two of us. Everyone has faded except for him, and his face becomes an unfiltered canvas of emotion, revealing one undeniable truth.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Penelope
I’m quiet on the ride home from dinner, and guilt gnaws its way through my gut because I know my silence is eating at Logan. I see it in the way he’s bouncing his knee, and how his eyes flick between me and the window, like he’s afraid the second Javier stops the car, I’m going to bolt.
I’m lost in an altered state of denial and panic as I begin to unravel.
Carrie’s gone, leaving me to sort through the chaos bubbling inside me alone, and I’ve chewed the newest growth off three nails already. But I’m numb to the pain, tearing the skin around my cuticles until I bleed, because I’m not ready to face this.
Logan loves a fraud.
A nobody.
A woman who has absolutely nothing to offer a man who has everything.
Losing my apartment? That sucked. The bad relationships, worse dates, and being out of a job? All a bit of bad luck.
But now I’m sitting here, peeling away layers of my life after an unforgettable night with a man who’s put a roof over my head, cared for me without being asked, and repeatedly refused to give up on me, and suddenly, I can’t deal.
When Javier pulls to a stop in the circle drive outside the apartments, our gazes lock.
“We need to talk, Pen.” My name is a rough, gravelly command he knows damn well I’m going to ignore.
A shiver skates up my spine when I shake my head and place two fingers on the door handle.
Try it, his scowl conveys. Just know, you won’t get very far.
One, two, three… I count my pounding heartbeats. If I run, I don’t have to face the truth. Four, five, six… If I run, he can’t force me to accept that, despite it all, I love him, too. Just as much as I always have, only more so.
“Don’t—”
I throw the door open and scramble out of the car.
“Goddammit,” I hear him grit, but I’m barefoot, which means I can outrun him, and absolutely nothing is going to slow me down until I’m safely locked inside my apartment.
I pump my arms and legs as hard as I can, feeling the cool grass of the courtyard against the soles of my feet and the wind whipping my cheeks.
The stairs blur once I reach the railing, dashing for the door with my blood thumping in my ears.
“Shit.” I don’t have my hand on the knob for longer than a second before I realize Logan has my keys.
He’s already at my back, tsking in my ear and jangling them beside my face. “At least give me a challenge, sunshine.”
“Go away,” I pant, keeping my voice shockingly calm, despite him spinning me around to face him.
