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“You heard what he said. I don’t have what it takes to do this on my own.”
“Bullshit.” I practically spit the word. “We’re the ones who made those connections tonight, not him. You came up with this plan, and you’re the one putting it into action.”
He rakes a hand through his hair, then scrubs it over his face while I stand here, helpless, feeling the full force of my fear of losing him again.
“I can’t do this without him. If he pulls funding from Summit, then we lose Seaside altogether. Is that what you want? Is this not the safest option?”
“I don’t care about being safe. I care about you. He’s manipulating you into thinking Summit is yours, just to expand his own agenda. You might think he’s looking out for you, but I see through him.”
He paces. “Just because he’s trying to teach me how to run a business doesn’t mean I’m being manipulated.”
The entire room smells like a sickening blend of cigarettes and desperation. I’m furious, yes, but more than anything, I’m devastated that after all this time, I’m still not enough.
“And what about us? He’s made his stance where I’m concerned pretty damn clear.”
Finally, he turns to me, but his hesitation speaks volumes for the words he can’t seem to find.
Dread plummets through my stomach as the reality of our situation sinks in. “You can’t keep me a secret forever, Logan, and you know that. How long have you been telling me not to be ashamed of who I am? Yet you’re the one who’s working the hardest to keep me hidden.”
“I’m not ashamed of you. Not in the fucking slightest. I love you. I’m trying to protect you.”
“I don’t want to be protected. I want to be defended and honored. I want all the things you tell me behind closed doors–that I’m your partner, lover, and friend. I want the future we only ever dreamed of. The one where we’re amazing parents to a bunch of bratty kids who look like you and act like me. Where we’re free to live, free to be, and free to not give a fuck what anyone else thinks, because for once, we’ll be happy. You made me believe that was possible, but I won’t have it if I have to hide it.”
“You don’t understand,” he whispers, his hands flexing as if he wants to haul me against him. And dammit, I want him to. “It’s not as simple as facing the world together. There are forces at play, forces I can’t control. Obligations and expectations that I can’t just turn my back on.”
At a loss for how to get through to him, I turn for the door. “You’re right. I don’t get it.”
“Where are you going?” he asks, panicked. “Penelope, please.”
He follows closely behind me, but I don’t stop until my hand grips the cool metal handle. When I whirl on him, I unleash my own torment. “Days ago, I would’ve run from something like this the first chance I got. But I’m done running. I’m ready to fight for you, but if you want me, and you want to take control of your future, then you’re going to have to make a choice.
“Your father stole twelve years of happiness from us, Logan, and I won’t let him have the group home, too. I’ll chain myself to the steps if I have to. I’ll scream, and kick, and when it comes down to it, you’ll be the one who’ll have to pry it from my bloody fingers.”
“You don’t know what you’re asking… We’re not kids who have the luxury of making rash decisions anymore. We could lose everything, Penelope.”
It’s amazing how fast I nearly fold. How close I am to saying it’ll be all right for the sake of protecting him. Because yes, it’s hard to fight the urge to put his hurts and needs above my own, but if I do that now, I’ll only hinder the two of us from the push we desperately need.
For years, I’ve wanted answers for why there never seemed to be a place where I belonged. But if I’ve learned anything over the last few weeks, it’s that while trying to find a place inside everyone else’s worlds, I’ve left mine barren and neglected. I’ve lived in fear that I was capable of nothing, but I’m capable of anything.
I just have to trust myself.
“Maybe we will lose everything…” I open the door, glancing back at him one last time, “but you’re worth the risk to me.”
His throat bobs when he grabs my arm, his touch searing its way through layer after layer of muscle. “Where will you go?”
If Logan won’t help me, then it’s time I swallow my pride, face my fears, and finally come clean.
With a sense of indefinable rightness, I say, “Home.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Penelope
I blink my eyes open, disoriented by the rays of morning sunlight falling over me. The scent of hot pans and roasted coffee beans flit through my nose, making my stomach growl loudly.
“Mornin’, sunshine.” My cousin’s wife, Heather, sets a steaming mug on the table before plopping down on the couch opposite from the one I slept on.
That nickname… I groan as I recall the fight Logan had with his dad, and my fear for the future of the group home.
