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Ash isn’t the cleverest of men. “No, she had my phone, but she found me easily on social media, and it was there she messaged me, and we messaged back and forth for a while.”
“The goddesses favor you. You didn’t get exactly what you wanted, but this is better. You can get to know each other again and keep the memories.”
I give him the smallest of smiles at the thought. “How did your night go?”
“Well, I met a woman dressed as Dorothy. I think it’s Ivy’s friend, the same one who was also abducted. However, I wasn’t so lucky. She told me she wasn’t looking for anything serious. I gave her my human phone number, though, just in case she reconsidered.”
“Has she called you?”
“Not yet.”
“Perhaps at Venice Carnival…” I begin.
“Yes, well,” Ash interrupts, “At least someone made progress with a human woman, and that’s better than any of us have done in the last year. So Commander Fox can’t be too upset with us today.” Commander Fox always encourages us to attend human festivals that involve costumes to better meet human women with our true appearances.
Before I can reply, the chime sounds for the morning briefing, and we both exit the dining room.
Twelve
Ivy
“So tell me everything that happened with that handsome knight,” Scarlett says over her pink cocktail.
“Nothing happened. He was very sweet. He walked me to the end of my block.”
“Not that sweet if he didn’t walk you home.”
“I asked him not to. I didn’t want him to know where I lived. I added him on social media, though.”
“With a man as gorgeous as that, I’d take my chances. Even in that quick picture you took, even in grey, he was stunningly handsome. Had it been me, I would’ve dragged him home with me.” Then she holds out her hand, “Give me your phone.”
“Why?”
“I want to look at his social media.”
“I don’t think he uses it often. There’s not much there except travel pictures.” I hand my new phone to her, open to his page.
In the dark bar, the light from my phone lights up her face as she scrolls his page. “Do you think this woman, Caroline, is his mom?”
I smile. “Yes. All her comments are ‘mom comments.’”
“Oh, and this, this man here, Ash. He tried hitting on me last night. He thought we should hook up since he was dressed as the Tin Man. I bet you they both used the same grey face paint. It was impressive paint, I’ll give them that.” She looks at his picture more closely. “Maybe I was too hasty. But to be fair, the Tin Man costume wasn’t doing him any favors. Who knew what he looked like under that robot torso.”
“The Tin Man isn’t really a costume someone fantasizes over. The Cowardly Lion, perhaps, or even the Scarecrow, but definitely not the Tin Man. Unless you had an AI robot fetish,” I add.
“I’d have to oil him up every other minute,” Scarlett says, laughing so hard she almost spills her drink, imagining it. She starts making movements from the movie when the Tin Man needed oil. “Ree-ruu-ree-ruu, ree-ruu.” But instead of using her arm, she’s simulating his penis becoming erect and moving her hips. And then she makes a motion of oiling him up.
My stomach begins to hurt. I’m laughing so hard.
When Scarlett catches her breath, she asks, “So when are you going to see your knight again?”
“I don’t know. He travels a lot.”
Without asking me, she snatches my phone again and reads my messages.
“Hey, that’s private,” I try to take my phone back, and she pretends not to give it to me for a second but then hands it over.
“I just wanted to see what you talked about. I want to make sure you’re not being catfished by a married man or a serial fisherman.”
