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Commander Fox’s green eyes meet mine for a second, and then he’s looking back at the GC representative on his screen. His long black hair is completely down and loose today. I know he only does this when he’s annoyed with something. He says the braids give him an extra headache that, as a commander, he no longer has to deal with.
I was a squire to Commander Fox, and we’re as close as two men can be. That’s the way the Alliance works. Every man has two fathers, a biological one and a military one. In the same way, I am to Vin what Commander Fox is to me. I impatiently wait as Commander Fox wraps up his conversation. “What is it? Did someone die?”
“We had no casualties. This is a personal matter. I prayed to the goddesses to find my true other half before the mission after my purification ceremony, and I found her on that ship. She was one of the humans abducted. She recognized me as her other half as well. She refused to be separated from me. She’s in the medical center now. I don’t want her memory erased. I don’t want her to forget me. I want her to remember me saving her and that I am Alliance. And she shared memories with me, and I don’t want to forget those either.”
A look of shock crosses the commander’s face, but he remains quiet. Waiting for an answer, I don’t move a muscle. After a sacred seven minutes, he says, “You should not have prayed to find your true other half until your mourning is finished. Clearly, you weren’t supposed to meet her yet. It would be best if you let her go, Sem. If she’s truly your other half, you’ll meet her again. Your souls will always recognize each other. But to ensure your success, I’ll also pray to the goddesses about it.”
“But if her memory is erased, she won’t know aliens exist. She’ll be afraid of my true appearance. I don’t want to have to lie to her. She knows me like this. Isn’t there something to be said for this kind of honesty? The goddesses want it this way.”
“You pushed fate. But don’t worry, the goddesses will forgive you if you let her go now. This is your penance. The mind can forget, but the physical body never does. You wouldn’t want her to have to remember her abduction. You’ll meet her again, and she’ll understand you’re not human. She was quick enough to appreciate you as an Alliance now.”
“After seeing Octopods and Dulu,” I remind him. “I think they’d scare any human into the arms of an Alliance man.”
Commander Fox sighs. “I know this is difficult. But trust in the goddesses. Walk in their light. They’ll punish you further if you force fate anymore.”
“But why would they present her to me like this?”
“Who are we to question the goddesses?”
“Is there anything I can do to change your mind?”
Commander Fox thinks for a second. I guess only to humor me. I know him well enough to know once he’s made up his mind, he’s unlikely to change it. “No. I’m sorry, there’s nothing to justify this, but if what you say is true, you’ll find each other again.”
I can’t speak. All the myths about couples who pushed fate rather than trusting the goddesses run through my mind: terrible things happened to them, from dying violently to constant resentment for their unlucky lots in life. I know Commander Fox is right. I must wait for my time, but I can hardly breathe at the thought of saying ‘goodbye’ to her.
I try to clear my mind of the human woman, an impossible task. Then, update the commander on the state of the Octopods and their armor on the Dulu ship and the second Octopod ship.
“We’re lucky one of the human women had a tracking device on her that was still active,” Commander Fox says. “We’ve got to do better.”
“Do you suspect more Dulu and Octopods are working together?”
“I don’t know. We need to find out why the Octopods are so interested in human women suddenly.”
* * *
The doctor erases all my memories of her except for the initial rescue. I still know who that human woman is to me, though. I no longer can remember any details about her life. Not even her name, but I know.
I return to my other half’s side in the medical center. I wish I could give her some clothing to wear. I hate to see her in remnants of what she had been wearing when abducted.
Caroline comes over to my side and whispers in my ear, “Her name is Ivy Jefferies. She’s an elementary school teacher in New Orleans, Louisiana.”
I touch Caroline’s arm in the sincerest way of thanks.
“Walk in the goddesses’ light. You have one minute, Sem,” Caroline says, then suddenly leaves me. This is illegal, but I’m going to take this minute.
I memorize her features. Her delicate cheekbones and her plump pink lips. I run my fingers through her shoulder-length dark brown hair and silently swear, ‘I will find you again, and your heart will remember who I am to you. Walk in the goddesses’ light, Ivy Jefferies of New Orleans.’ And then, at the last minute, I touch her hand and place a memory buoy there. I hope that the doctor won’t find it and that I can activate it later. It will only be my one-sided-one-second-long memory of looking into her eyes for the first time and my emotional reaction to her. I don’t have time to dig deep and find her reaction to me and link it. But it might come in handy one day if I need to prove to her that I knew she was my other half the first time we met. Then, gently, I let go of her small hand and have to trust in the goddesses’ will. I back away just in the nick of time as Caroline and the doctor enter to erase her memory of the abduction and replace it with a pleasant memory and an excuse to make sense of her absence on Earth.
I take one last look, turn, and force myself to walk away. One foot in front of the other. I almost trip. My physical body is crying out to turn around. This must be what walking away from your other half feels like. Heartbreak to be physically separated from the one you know you’re meant to be with.
Six
July 8, 2023
Ivy
“I just don’t feel like going to the movies,” I say for the millionth time to Scott.
“You’ve been so weird lately. Ever since you went on that secret camping trip.”
