Page 14 of Embers and Smoke


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“No.” she lied quickly. Her eyes already warning me not to kiss her.

MJ looked between us, trying to read the vibe. “Did I miss something?”

“Naw. She knows I hate when women roll their eyes in my presence.”

“Then you must want a woman other than a black woman.” MJ laughed as we finally made it to one of his large rooms. He had glass cases with different strands of cannabis. “I hear you down there in Houston, starting a restaurant. It’s going to do well. Marijuana is everywhere up here. Down there, you’ll be a hot commodity. Seriously, the government gives marijuana a bad rep. It’s no different than you choosing your favorite cocktail and enjoying all the feels. Did you tell her you use it because you have so much pain from your football injuries you can’t walk?”

She looked at me, concern etching her face, and I shrugged. “It’s cool.”

“It’s about making sure you start with different strands that mix well with your recipes or cocktails. Strands that enhance or blend the taste. You never want the taste to overpower the food. The vials I already gave JJ should work. I can give you more.”

I nodded. “We can come back tomorrow and meet you to buy more. We’re just going to browse. Can you give us a moment?”

“Yeah. On your way out, holla at me.”

“Done.” He closed the door behind him, and I slid one hand in my pocket. “Did you use to have a crush on him, too?”

“What’s that’s supposed to mean?” Spirit walked closer to me.

“Laughing in his face and holding his arm. What the fuck was that?”

She crossed her arms. “You brought me here to see what marijuana is all about, and the minute you have a chance to do it, you chastise me like I’m a child. You’re so fucking jealous you can’t think straight. Doesn’t feel good, does it?”

My nostrils flared.

“You know why I can’t let go of the past? You were so damn callous with my heart. I would’ve understood it more if you didn’t know how I felt about you. Except you’ve made it abundantly clear, you knew I loved you back then.” She touched my chest. “Did you feel that burn every time MJ said anything to me or touched me? That burn is how I felt with every girl who wore your jacket and the girls you hugged or kissed in front of me like I didn’t matter. Then you ask me to go to your prom, and I’m on cloud nine. I got my dress and everything, and then you don’t even bother to tell me you asked another girl. A hateful girl because she resented our alleged closeness. She couldn’t wait to tell me that you wanted a dime for your prom and not the charity case who lived next door. She said that in front of other kids, and they laughed. It took all my willpower not to cry in humiliation and this overwhelming feeling of betrayal that you tricked me. I hated myself for being a fucking idiot to ever believe you wanted me. That you would ever want me on your arm for the world to see.” She wiped her eyes. “I thought at the very least we were friends, and you would never hurt me like that. You know who defended me and told her to shut the fuck up and that if she wasn’t a girl, he would punch the living shit out of her, your brother. He was my hero. Not you.” Her chest heaved.

“You can stay here with your friends or leave. I don’t give a fuck. I’ll catch an Uber back to the hotel. I don’t think I want to be around you anymore. I would fly back to Houston if I was up for any more travel.” She strutted out of the room, and I sank into the wall behind me. My heart broke for the girl she’d been, hurt by the boy she still believed I was.

Chapter 6

Spirit

When I exited the building, the driver approached me. “Mr. Legend insists I drive you back to the hotel. He’ll find his own way back.”

I waited for the driver to open the door. I looked back at the entrance to the club and could see him faintly through the glass, watching me. I should feel better that I finally released what had been inside me for years. All I felt was pain, not relief. Whispers of the pain I experienced back then combined with the rawness of the hurt that spread across Jace’s face as I spewed my emotions like an exploding volcano.

I arrived at the hotel glumly and rode to the penthouse suite. At least it was big enough for us to have our space. I walked into the bedroom and screamed. In the soft lamplight, Jace stood by the balcony, looking over the bright lights of the strip. “I told the driver to go the long way to bring you back so you had time to cool off. I wanted to wait for you in here so we could talk in case you decided not to let me in the suite. I told you I wouldn’t let you walk out on me again, yet you did. You told me you wouldn’t change your mind about fucking. I guess you lied.”

“Are you serious right now?”

He looked back at me. “Very.”

“I don’t even want you touching me.”

“If you can be honest about how much I hurt you, then be honest about how much you still want me to fuck you.”

“Is this like reverse psychology? I don’t want you anymore.” I hit my hand against my chest.

Jace turned around and started unbuttoning his shirt.

“What are you doing?” I asked, appalled, though I couldn’t stop staring at him. Arrogance shouldn’t be this damn sexy.

“You can leave, or you can take all your anger out on me while we fuck?” he pulled off his shirt. On their own volition, my eyes drifted to his still muscular physique and the Bison on his right pec from his time at Howard. Jace reached into his pocket and pulled out a blunt that looked more like a brown cigarette and a lighter. He puffed on it and unbuttoned his pants before sitting on the chaise lounge that faced me. Next to the lounge was a table that held my favorite wine and two glasses.

Jace didn’t smile while he puffed and narrowed his eyes at me. “This is me. I’m flawed. Fucked over women. Some fucked over me. I smoke because if I didn’t, I couldn’t get out of bed most days. I don’t know who I am without football. Doing this business with my brothers, helping revive failing businesses, saved me from drinking myself to death. My best friend has become my twenty-one-year-old daughter, who still loves me despite how I treated her mother. Just because I didn’t reach out to you didn’t mean you didn’t cross my mind when my life was hard. I could hear your voice telling me I could do it and everything would be alright. I couldn’t let you leave here angry at me because you’re my comfort.” He widened his stance so his legs were on either side of the chaise lounge. “Come ride me.”

At my hesitation, he repeated. “If you were disgusted by what’s happening right now, you would’ve left. Stop. Just stop it. Get your fine ass over here, and let me bring you pleasure like you’ve never fucking had. You kissed me in the elevator because you fantasized about it. Tell me what else you fantasized about me doing to you.”

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