Page 19 of Guarded Heart


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“I can tell. Go have fun and if I didn’t tell you earlier, you look beautiful.”

“Thanks, Dad. Go thank Autumn and tell her what a great job she did! Gotta go! Bye!” Before she disappears into the gym where the dance is being held, through the entrance, she stops and turns back around. “Don’t forget, I’m staying with Raelynn after the dance, but I’ll be home in the morning!” She doesn’t bother waiting for a response before disappearing into the school with her friends close beside her.

As I get back into my truck, I sit for a while thinking, not for the first time, about how quickly my little girl’s growing up. It wasn’t long ago when she’d hug me goodbye when she went somewhere without me. Not anymore, though. Now I’m a Fuddy Duddy. It’s not cool to hug your dad in public.

I let out a rough breath and shake my head. Before I know it, Bethany’s going to be heading off to college and I’ll be on my own. Should I listen to my daughter and at least attempt to date someone?

That thought has my stomach rolling. It doesn’t feel right. What does feel right is being with Autumn. But Autumn doesn’t plan on sticking around. Can I risk not only my heart, but Bethany’s as well? It seems like a recipe for disaster, but at the same time it feels like it could be worth the risk.

And that thought doesn’t make me feel as uneasy as it once would have.

Chapter Ten

Autumn

Idon’t even know how to handle myself around him anymore. Every morning I’m walking on eggshells, wondering when he’s going to mention the lingering looks we’ve been giving each other.

After staring at the empty driveway for a few minutes, I finally shake my head and go back inside the house. Watching Easton’s reaction when he saw Bethany in her dress made my heart turn over in my chest. The look of pure love on his face was a joy to see and one I’d love nothing more than to see every day when he looks at me. I’ve spent plenty of nights thinking about Easton and touching myself to the memory of him, but nothing beats how attractive he looks when he has his ‘Dad’ hat on.

I always thought my teenage crush on Easton was just that - a crush that would die a natural death once I got older and dated. Obviously that hasn’t happened. My heart beats faster every time he enters a room and I miss him when he leaves for work. This isn’t a crush any longer; it’s more than that, something I’m not ready to name. The problem is that Easton won’t let himself feel the same way.

When headlights shine through the window, letting me know Easton’s returned, I straighten my spine and lean back into the couch with my eyes focused on the TV. Maybe if he thinks I’m invested in the show on the screen, he’ll leave me alone and go straight up to his room. If he comes and sits by me, I don’t know if I’ll be able to control myself.

While Easton comes in and takes his shoes off, I keep my gaze directed at the TV. I’m not comprehending anything that’s happening though, because my whole body is aware of him when he heads over to the couch, causing my heart to race.

He lets out a long sigh as he sits down next to me and I try my hardest to continue looking at the TV. The silence is deafening and I sneak a glance at him to see his eyes are closed and his head is resting on the back of the couch.

“She’s growing up so fast it’s scary,” Easton says softly. “I have to remember she’s not a little girl anymore.”

Before I can say anything, his eyes open and he looks directly at me. “Thank you, Autumn. For everything. Bethany looked beautiful tonight. It meant a lot to both of us that you did so much for her.”

“It wasn’t a problem. It was fun,” I say as I look away.

He shakes his head and looks out the window. “Did I ever tell you that Bethany asked me why I don’t date?”

I look over at him in surprise.“What? No.”

“Well, she did. Not long ago,” he whispers. “How do I explain my reasons without seeming weak to her?”

“You’re not weak, Easton,” I say, choking on his name. “You’re afraid and that’s okay. Maybe it’s not a bad thing that Bethany sees that emotion from her dad. Life isn’t always easy. It’s not all hearts and flowers and happy ever after,” I tell him. “You’ve had a huge loss and had to raise Bethany on your own. You’ll get back in the game when you’re ready. She’s lucky to have you.”

His gaze travels over my body and I squirm, tucking my legs under me. There’s another emotion shining in his eyes that I can’t quite read, but it disappears when he turns his attention to the TV.

After a few minutes I start to get up from the couch, prepared to head to my room, but Easton wraps his fingers around my wrist to stop me. “Can you sit here with me for a bit?” When I look at him, there’s sadness in his eyes that forces me to do as he asks and I sit back down.

“Sure.”

I expect him to let go of my wrist, but instead he runs his fingers along my skin, making me shiver in response.

“I can’t stop thinking about you, you know,” he says softly. I hold my breath as I wait for him to say more, already understanding where he’s going with this conversation and not sure if I want it to continue. “How perfectly we fit together,” he trails his fingers up my arm as he speaks, leaving goosebumps in their wake. When he stops at the slope of my neck he whispers, “How soft you felt under my touch.”

“Easton, we can’t,” I choke out as I attempt to pull away from him. “It’s not right.”

He sighs and leans forward to press his forehead against mine. “It felt right though, didn’t it, Red?

I’ve spent so much time since our last night together thinking about him, getting myself off to thoughts of him, but I know that getting closer to Easton would just complicate things even further. I take a deep breath and shake my head. “We shouldn’t—-”.

Easton nods, his lips mere centimeters from mine. “I know that, Autumn, but I can’t stop thinking about you. The only reason I’ve had restraint so far is because I’ve been away, which was great for putting distance between us,” he says as he removes his forehead from mine and looks at me intently. “But it’s done nothing to change the effect you have on me. When I’m around you, my dick is constantly hard and when I remember when we’ve given in to our attraction? Every fiber of my being wants a fucking repeat.”

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