Page 33 of Guarded Heart


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I drop my keys onto the stand next to the door, then quietly stride into the living room with hands shoved in my pockets and my lips puckered in annoyance. “Question. Why the hell did Bethany bring us up at my mother’s house tonight?”

Autumn’s face turns a nasty shade of white and she shakes her head. “I didn’t mean for her to hear anything. She wasn’t home when I talked to Savanna and I didn’t hear her come in.”

I scoff and shake my head. “What are your plans for the future, Autumn? Do you remember me asking you that on our date?”

She nods and swallows thickly while waiting for my response. “You said that you are just going with the flow, am I right?”

Autumn’s eyes have taken on a glassy sheen, but I can’t bring myself to care right now, and she nods silently. “What makes you think that’s a good situation for Bethany? To know that the woman I let into our lives has every intention of leaving, months, or even years, down the road? I can’t do it, Autumn.”

I shake my head and stomp upstairs, briefly glancing at Bethany’s closed door.

What the hell did I just do? Everything I thought I knew is slowly dissolving, being replaced by bits and pieces of a future with Autumn that I can’t seem to shake no matter how hard I try. I run a hand through my hair, then fall back onto the mattress with a loud sigh while ignoring the message that pings on my phone.

All I know is that I’m royally and truly fucked right now. It doesn’t help that there’s a knot in my stomach from how terribly I talked to Autumn just now.

Chapter Eighteen

Autumn

Walking out Easton’s front door with no plans on returning was the easiest, yet hardest, decision I’ve ever had to make. After the way he treated me last night, what did he expect?

Savanna’s name pops up on my phone and I blow out a rough breath, hoping my sadness won’t make itself known to her. The last thing I need is for her to pity me right now. All I want is a place to stay until I figure something else out.

I’ll look into transport out of this town soon, but for now my thoughts turn to Bethany and how devastated she’ll be when she wakes up to find out I left. I’ve left a note sitting on the kitchen counter addressed to Easton, telling him why I can’t keep working for him. Surely that should be enough for his cold heart to process.

He doesn’t deserve much else right now.

Sitting in my car, I call Savannah. “Hello?” Her soft voice echoes through the bluetooth, startling me from my thoughts. “What’s up, Autumn?”

“Uh, do you have room for me to crash at your place? Just until I find somewhere else I can afford.”

“Goddammit,” she mutters. “I knew he’d screw everything up with his stubborn fucking brain. Yeah, come over. The front door will be unlocked and I’ll be on the back patio waiting for you.”

The fact that she knows exactly what happened sends another wave of fresh tears falling from my eyes and I swipe them away angrily. He doesn’t deserve my tears right now, yet I can’t seem to stop them because they aren’t only falling for him. I’d become used to waking up every day to find Bethany’s smiling face in the kitchen and a mug of coffee held out to me, knowing that I needed it before I start the day.

I’m not going to experience that anymore.

It cracks my heart, but I can’t take all the responsibility. I was stupid enough to believe that Easton had removed a small sliver of the wall blocking his heart, allowing me a chance to get inside and give him what I know he craves. He’s just too scared to admit it. He only wanted me for a moment and had every intention of discarding me like trash.

Will things ever go the way I want them to?

I let the tears subside, then pull away from the house that has slowly turned into a home for me, refusing to look in the rearview mirror. If I look even once, there’s a chance I’ll turn around and change my mind, but I can’t do that. Not until Easton admits to himself what he really wants and stops playing with my emotions.

Just as Savanna said, her front door is unlocked and I push inside easily, beelining for the sliding glass door that leads to her large patio. She’s rocking slowly on the love seat Dawson got her recently and immediately holds her arms out to me with a frown. “Get over here, babe.”

Without saying a single word, I climb onto Savanna’s lap and let the tears fall again until there’s nothing left to drain out of me. I’m fresh out of tears by the time I get up and sit next to her, shaking my head. I’m disappointed in myself for giving him this much of my time and energy. “How could I have been so stupid?”

Savanna sighs and runs her fingers through my hair, not caring at all when they get stuck on a knot. “You weren’t stupid, Autumn. The only stupid one in this scenario is my brother who is too consumed with fear to realize the damage he is causing.”

“I walked out,” I mumble and surprisingly, a new wave of tears builds up in my eyes. “How hurt do you think Bethany will be?”

She gives me a small smile and shrugs. “She’ll probably understand why you did it, but I’m sure you don’t plan on being completely separated from her life.” When I’m silent, she pushes away from me and pokes her bottom lip out. “Right?”

I avert my eyes from hers and look out at the darkened sky, which shows a sliver of light to indicate the start of a new day, then I shrug. “I’m not sure what I’m doing, Sav. How can I face him after all this?”

She’s my best friend and knows as well as I do how bad my crush was for him years ago, so I’m sure it’s easy to imagine what it’s like now that I’ve gotten a taste of him. Can she really expect me to stick around after that?

Her hand gently comes over my mine and she gives it a squeeze. “If I know you, then you’ll figure it out.” She sighs and looks in the direction of the sky with me. “As much as I love you, Autumn, you have a nasty habit of not sitting still and letting things come to you as they’re meant to. You quit everything too easily as soon as it gets tough, which is what’s happening right now.”

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