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Savanna shakes her head and frowns, then points a crooked finger at me. “You don’t have a choice right now because I’m not leaving until we settle everything once and for all. I’m sick of watching my best friend cry and you sitting back like she isn’t hurting over this shit.”
“That was a lot of words, even for you.”
“Sit down, grab a glass, and let’s talk.” She pulls out the wine, pouring herself a healthy dose before holding the bottle out in my direction. I shake my head and reach for the whiskey. “You need to get over this deep-seated fear you have that everyone is going to leave you.”
I sigh and shake my head, downing most of my drink right then and there before pouring some more. “It’s not that simple, Sav.”
She scoffs. “It is, actually. Do you see me sitting here?” When she cocks her head to the side and sits silently staring at me, I realize she actually wants me to respond.
“Yeah,” I mumble.
“Great,” she says with a nod. “What about Mom, Dad, and Bethany?”
Again, her silence stays until I give her a firm nod. “Yes.” I know what she’s getting at with this, but that doesn’t stop fear from consuming me. The only time it didn’t haunt my dreams was the night I slept next to Autumn. It was the most sleep I had gotten in a while without a single nightmare.
That only freaked me out more.
“The only person you’ve lost is Elena, and I’m sorry you experienced that pain, but life moves on, Easton. If Elena were here right now, do you think she’d want you wasting your life away like this?”
As much as Elena and I never loved each other in the romantic sense, we did have a deep friendship that surpassed everyone else in my life. We would sit up late while Bethany was asleep, talking about where we saw our life going, and I remember Elena telling me not to give up on finding love.
She never wanted me to stick with her just because she was Bethany’s mother.
“No,” I whisper, the whiskey warm going down my throat as I take another drink. “She wouldn’t.”
“What the hell are you doing then? This is not the way to honor her memory, Easton, and it’s definitely not the way to live with Bethany in mind. That girl wants you to be happy with someone. She thinks that you are going to be alone when she’s out living her life.”
The thought of Bethany feeling that way has bile rising up my throat and I do my best to swallow it down. Have I been so blind that I couldn’t see how my actions were affecting Bethany? Of course she’d want to grow up with another mother figure. It doesn’t mean that she’d forget about Elena.
“I get what you are saying, Sav,” I grind out, my fingers tightening against the glass in my hand. “I’m terrified, though.”
“Isn’t that what love is?” She asks and chuckles when I narrow my eyes at her. “What? You think I can’t tell when my broody brother who doesn’t believe in love actually falls for someone?”
“I don’t love her,” I mutter. Even as I say them, the words leave a bad taste in my mouth. I don’t, right?
Savanna shakes her head and frowns. “How much longer are you gonna tell yourself that? I’ve got to be honest, bro, you’re eventually going to be too late and you’ll have no-one to blame but yourself.”
What does she mean I’m going to be too late?
Would Autumn leave like she had always intended to do?
I shake my head and frown. “I can’t do it right now, Sav.”
She sighs and drains the last of her wine, pouring herself another one. “At least get the help you need, Easton. You’ve been needing it for years and everyone has been too scared to say anything to you. I’m done skirting around the truth, though. You need professional help. If not for your sake, then Bethany’s.”
That’s the only thing I need to hear for me to nod my head in agreement. If going to get help will fix the relationship between Bethany and me, while also leaving me open to one with Autumn in the future, why would I reject the idea?
“Is that enough truth for one night?”
“Just figure your shit out before it’s too late, that’s all.”
I nod, then drain the last of my whiskey and stand up. “On that note, I’m heading to bed. Are you going to join me?”
She shivers in disgust and fakes a gag, then jumps up from her chair. “Not a chance, but I’ll crash on your couch and probably take Bethany out in the morning. Give you a little bit of space to do what you need to do.”
I’ll never understand what I did to deserve the people I have in my life. My mother should’ve been furious with me for the way I acted with her. So should Savanna. Yet both of them have talked me through everything and I’ve got a better idea of how to handle it all now.
I give her a small smile, then envelope her in my arms. “Thanks. I needed this more than you know.”
