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“Okay.”
He takes a deep breath and looks into my eyes. “I love you, Autumn.”
“W-what?” Maybe the pain medicine is getting to my head because there’s no way I heard that right.
Easton runs a hand through his hair nervously. “It’s true. I’ve fallen in love with you.” There’s more to his feelings than that though; I can tell by the hurt swimming in his gaze as he stares at me. “But,” he says and my heart deflates like a balloon.
There it is.
“I don’t know if love is enough to shake away my fear.”
Should I even be worrying about this right now? Why would he think telling me he loves me while I’m not even able to move was a good idea? It’s infuriating. “Okay.” There’s a bite to my tone that he notices because he flinches in response, but it doesn’t force him to remove his hand from mine.
I wish he would.
When I saw him sitting here next to me, I thought it was because he’d finally come to his senses. Does it suck that an accident would do that? Sure, but the idea of him coming around to the idea of us was nice.
Until it wasn’t anymore.
Easton clears his throat and lifts his hand from mine. “I don’t know if I can bring myself to go through this hurt again, but it’s something I’m still working on. I’m trying, Red, because I want to be with you.” He sighs and shakes his head. “I’m just not ready yet.”
So this man decides to tell me he loves me, then in the same breath says we can’t be together because of his fear?
Basically nothing has changed and I’m sure it didn’t help that I went and got into a damn accident.
“I’m getting tired,” I mumble before turning my head away from him, not wanting to look at him any longer. Who does this kind of thing?
It’s ridiculous.
“Yeah, I’m sure you’re exhausted. I’ll let you rest.” I keep my gaze pointed away, even as he rises from the chair and makes his way toward the open door. “I’m sorry, Autumn.” A tear slides down my cheek and I blink the rest away, desperate not to let the sadness take over.
I have more important things to worry about and Easton Gentry isn’t going to be one of them.
My eyes droop shut, the sound of the machine coaxing me to sleep, and I let it take over. Maybe when I wake up everything that just happened will be a terrible nightmare.
Yeah, right.
One could hope.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Easton
I’m exhausted when I walk through my front door and am more than grateful that my mother agreed to keep Bethany another night.
I kick my shoes off at the front door, then stumble through the entryway and upstairs into my room. A shower is exactly what I need to wash these nasty feelings away. What the hell was I thinking? It would’ve been better if I had just kept my mouth shut about my feelings for her and just left without her knowing I was ever there.
You’re an idiot.
Even my head can’t help but insult me right now.
I drop my clothes into a pile on the floor as I make my way into the bathroom, then I quickly turn the water on until steam starts billowing up to the ceiling. When I step under the hot spray, it soothes my aching muscles slightly, but it does nothing to rid me of the disgust I’m feeling.
It was the wrong way to go about things. I never should’ve told her anything if I didn’t plan on staying. After seeing the accident on TV, and sitting in the hospital waiting room for hours while she was in surgery, I couldn’t help but tell her how I felt.
But does it actually mean anything when you tell her you can’t be with her?
I shake my head and send water droplets all over the place. It’s infuriating how my head has all the right questions now. It doesn’t mean anything. No amount of love could make what I did okay, but how else am I supposed to protect Bethany and myself? My daughter shouldn’t have to sit at her grandparents’ house worrying about Autumn, and she never would’ve had to if I had just declined the promotion at work.
