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My eyes moved from the television to the still plastic wrapped DVD that was sitting next to it with a sticky note stuck to the front.
Picking it up, I read the note, scrawled in Finneas’s familiar chicken scratch were the words ‘I’m sorry.’
Somehow, even after death, Finneas still managed to apologize to me.
Lifting the sticky note, I sucked in a shocked breath when I realized what I was looking at.
It was Ice Castles. My favorite movie from when I was younger.
I’d lost my scratched up copy in the accident and Finneas seemed to have bought me a new one.
Pressing a hand to my mouth I choked down the sob threatening to escape and opened the DVD.
There wasn’t time to watch the entire movie as someone would definitely come looking for me soon, but I knew the exact scene I wanted to watch.
The television still turned on and I used the old remote to skip forward until the very end where Lexie is just finishing up her flawless performance despite her blindness.
Settling back on the bed, I glanced up, looking at the familiar mildew stain on the ceiling, the same one I used to stare up at while trying to sleep.
Then with a deep breath, I pressed play and watched Lexie wave to the crowd with a big smile as they began throwing teddy bears and flowers onto the ice.
My heart squeezed as she moved to skate off of the ice but a rose tripped her, sending her falling to the ice in front of everyone.
A sob rippled out of me as I watched Nick hurry to her side and kneel down next to her, a little grin on his face.
“We forgot about the flowers,” Nick joked to Lexie and my mouth moved with his, mimicking his line.
Then the credits began to roll and I was alone again… but I didn’t have to be.
Slowly, I began to ease my end of the bond open. It had been over a month and I was half-scared I wouldn’t know how to do it anymore.
And then they blinked into existence, green for Leith, pink for Artie, blue for Enzo, and finally a dazzling gold for Wiz.
I could feel their surprise down the bond and it made me smile despite how sad I was feeling and soon enough I heard their footsteps just outside of the door.
“Gorgeous?” Wiz led the way as he opened the door to my bedroom and they all peered inside. “You know you’ve opened your end of the bond, right?”
I nodded, wiping at my cheeks. “I didn’t want to be alone.”
That was all my guys needed to hear. They all came inside without another word and piled onto my little twin bed which creaked precariously beneath the five of us.
“I don’t think this bed is load bearing,” Enzo muttered as he settled in next to me, pulling me in close.
“It was meant for a little girl, not a bunch of oversized alphas,” Artie sniffed as he laid his head on my lap with a sigh of satisfaction as he pressed his face into my belly—a habit he’d taken up over the past week since they came to find me and Wiz.
“What were you watching, mo ròs?” Leith nodded at the television where the credits were still rolling.
“An old favorite of mine,” I murmured, combing my fingers through Artie’s hair. “I thought I lost it in the accident, but it looks like he—like Finneas bought it again like he was waiting for me to come back here to watch it.”
My pack remained quiet, waiting for me to continue. Now the bonds were completely open, they could feel my confusion and my grief.
“Is it okay for me to still hate Finneas but also miss him?” I asked, leaning my head on Enzo’s shoulder.
Over the past month it felt like the Finneas from the hospice home and the Finneas that I’d lived with until I was twelve were two completely different people.
I was crying again, I realized when droplets of moisture fell onto the hand that was still caressing Artie’s face. I always seemed to be crying these days. If it kept up I was going to make the guys take me to California and maybe my pregnancy hormones could solve their drought.
Wiz was the first to answer as he reached across the bed and put a hand over mine. “…I think that something like this isn’t supposed to be simple and it’s not something you can figure out in a day.”
