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But as I stand there on the bridge, the weight of the past pressing down on me like a physical force, I know that the road ahead won't be easy. There will be questions to answer, truths to face, wounds to heal.
And as I look into Axel's eyes, I see the same uncertainty reflected back at me. A love that once seemed unbreakable now hangs in the balance, teetering on the edge of a precipice.
Can we find our way back to each other? Can we rebuild the trust that's been shattered, piece by painful piece?
I don't know. But as the sun rises over Pine Haven, casting its golden light across the bridge, I know one thing for certain.
The battle may be over, but the war for our future has only just begun.
21
AXEL
The drive back to the safe house is a blur, my mind still reeling from the confrontation with Damian and the weight of the secrets I've kept for so long. Sasha sits beside me, her gaze distant, her face a mask of conflicting emotions. The silence between us is heavy, filled with unspoken questions and lingering hurt.
As we enter the bedroom, the dim light casts long shadows across the walls, mirroring the turmoil within me. I begin to pace the length of the room, the soft carpet muting my steps. Running a hand through my hair, I gather my scattered thoughts.
Turning towards Sasha, who sits on the edge of the bed, her posture tense, I take a deep breath. "Sasha, there's something I need to tell you. About Simon, and about my past."
Her head snaps towards me in surprise. “About Simon? Okay… I’m listening.” Her eyes are guarded and wary.
I pace the room, running a hand through my hair as I gather my thoughts. "I placed Simon in your life intentionally, to watch over you." The words feel heavy on my tongue, the admission a weight I've carried for too long.
Sasha's eyes widen, shock and betrayal flashing across her face. "You did what?" she whispers, her voice trembling.
I reach for her hand, desperate to maintain a connection, but she pulls away. "I couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to you. I needed someone I trusted to keep you safe, even when I couldn't be there."
She shakes her head, disbelief and anger warring in her expression. "So you manipulated my life, my relationships, without my knowledge or consent?"
The accusation stings, but I know I deserve it. "I know it seems that way, but my intentions were pure. I only wanted to protect you."
Sasha stands abruptly, pacing the room as she grapples with this revelation. "I can't believe you kept this from me. How am I supposed to trust you when you've been pulling the strings behind the scenes?"
I feel the weight of her words, the pain and betrayal I've caused. "Sasha, please. I never meant to hurt you. I was scared of losing you, of failing you like I failed my team."
She pauses, turning to face me. "Your team? What are you talking about? You did everything you could; it wasn’t your fault."
I close my eyes, the memories of that fateful mission rushing back, threatening to drown me in their intensity. "The operation that went wrong, the one where Damian's brother died... there's more to the story than I've told you."
Sasha's brow furrows, confusion and concern etched into her features. "What do you mean?"
I take a shaky breath, my hands clenching into fists at my sides. "We weren't supposed to go on that mission. I volunteered my squad, hoping it would secure my next promotion and get my men assigned to less harsh deployment."
The words taste like ash in my mouth, the guilt and shame burning through me like acid. "But it was a trap. We were ambushed, and I lost almost everyone. Derek was the only one who made it out with me."
Sasha's eyes widen, a mix of shock and empathy swirling in their depths. “Axel..."
I turn away, unable to bear the weight of her gaze.
I hear her step closer, feel the warmth of her presence at my back. "But it wasn't your fault, Axel. You couldn't have known it was a trap."
I shake my head, a bitter laugh escaping my lips. "Couldn't I? I was their leader, Sasha. It was my job to keep them safe, and I failed. I got them killed, all for the sake of my own ambition."
The words hang heavy in the air, the truth of them settling over us like a suffocating blanket. I brace myself for Sasha's reaction, for the disgust and condemnation I'm sure I'll see in her eyes.
But instead, I feel her arms wrap around me from behind, her cheek pressing against my back. "You made a mistake, Axel. A terrible, tragic mistake. But that doesn't make you a monster."
Her words are like a balm to my battered soul, a glimmer of light in the darkness that's consumed me for so long. I turn in her arms, my eyes searching hers for any sign of deception or pity. But all I see is love, understanding, and a fierce determination.
