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I’m taken aback at the lust I see there. His blown pupils and puffy lips. He’s a walking ad for sex. His image would sell any product you put next to it.
And still, I’m confused as hell about all of this.
The kiss was meant to straighten things out. We should feel better about it all now, with not a worry about looking awkward in front of others during this charade we signed up for.
But now I’m worried it didn’t have the effect we needed.
Now I feel undone before him. Like he’s looking into my soul and staring at my deepest secrets.
“It was only two,” Austen replies after a long few minutes of silence where only our heaving breaths fill the space. “And yes, that kiss.”
Rather than give it an adjective to ease my curiosity, my fake boyfriend turns from me to go to his room. He doesn’t act like he’s disheveled, and if I hadn’t seen his eyes before, I would never know the kiss affected him at all from how he stands.
At his bedroom door, he looks over his shoulder. “I need to leave in half an hour. Can you be ready?”
I nod quickly. “I will be.”
Right after I go jack off, shower, and throw on some clothes.
Of course, I don’t say that. I just grab my bag and head for the bathroom.
This day has only just begun, yet I feel like I’ve run a marathon of emotions. If I’m lucky, maybe that will be all there is to it.
If the worst — no, not worst. If the most confusing part of my day is a kiss from my crush, then I’m doing pretty well. And since I’ll be alone, I should be able to get some time to write music. I didn’t bring my guitar with me in my rush, but that’s an easy fix.
I add going to a music shop to my day’s plans. As I think about what kind I might acquire this time for my collection, a string of music whips through my mind, it’s melody clear as if it were being played aloud.
Searching for a piece of paper in my bag, I hum the melody on repeat. I feel relief with every note I sketch out. It’s as if I’m coming back home after a long rough tour on the road.
I’m equal parts encouraged and terrified.
This new music is different than anything I’ve done before. It’s… hopeful.
I’m hopeful.
And it’s in that second I realize exactly why my muse is back full force.
Austen fucking Page.
My muse. My demise.
My fake boyfriend.
Chapter 6
Austen
I drive us to campus since I’m the most familiar with the way to get there. It’s also another chance for me to focus on something besides the man beside me.
Corrin has had my attention since the first day he showed up by my brother’s side. For many years, that focus has been to figure out why he didn’t like me. After recent events, I’ve left behind that idea to contemplate alternate narratives.
Namely, the ones in which I get to have my hands on him again as soon as possible.
The kisses of my youth were nothing in comparison to Corrin’s touch. He’s gentle, yet hard. Eager yet hesitant.
I feel as if he’d swallow me whole if I didn’t keep some semblance of control.
“This place is bigger than I remember,” he says as I turn into one of the student lots closest to my first class of the day. It’s a finance course that I’ve already completed all the work for. If there wasn’t an attendance mandate, I’d already have closed off this credit with an early final exam.
