Page 15 of Wanting Mrs. Clarke


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Hollis’s expression completely changed, the seriousness slipping away as she laughed softly. “As I was saying... I like to be realistic. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been running my own business for so long and being the one in control of the outcomes, but I just don’t want you to think that next weekend would be like this one. Because it wouldn’t.”

“What do you do?”

“I’m an interior designer.” Hollis held her gaze. “Do you know what I’m trying to say? I would only love for this to be the start of something, but I can’t honestly say that it could be. Even if I want it to.”

Kate swallowed down the lump that had formed suddenly in her throat. Hollis’s words didn’t surprise her, but they were still hitting her to the core. “No, I know. You were upfront with me yesterday. You told me you were getting a divorce. But I’d just like to say that I would be willing to see where this might go, however unrealistic. I don’t think our age difference had any effect on how our night went.”

“Hmm, well it wouldn’t if you spend the night in bed,” Hollis said, her eyes nearly sparkling, her smile mesmerizing.

“I know, but if you were single right now, would you let our age difference stop you from wanting to see me again?” Kate asked. She knew she had no right to be this invested in Hollis, not after one night together, but she also knew for a fact that she’d never experienced anything even remotely as sexy, as intoxicating as their connection last night.

Hollis studied her. “Eighteen years is a lot.” She inhaled a sharp breath. “But I feel like you’re getting the short end of the stick here.”

Kate couldn’t stop her eyebrows from shooting up. “You’re kidding,” she said with a laugh. “Please tell me you’re kidding.” She reached for her glass and took a drink.

“No. I’m not. But to answer your question.” Hollis bit her lip. “I feel like I should say that it would let it stop me. That’s the sensible thing to say. And maybe last night wouldn’t have happened if I’d known.”

“Do you regret it? Last night?” Kate didn’t think her heart could beat any faster, but it had gone up another gear in the last few seconds.

“No. Not at all. I’m glad that I didn’t know, and I’m so glad that we had last night,” Hollis said, reaching for Kate’s hand as she set her glass back on the bar.

Kate’s breath caught in her throat as Hollis slid her hand over Kate’s palm, playing with her fingers as she interlaced them. What was it about Hollis? Touches and looks that might have intrigued her coming from someone else were driving her crazy when they came from Hollis.

“But now that I do know,” Hollis said, looking up from their hands, “I don’t know. I have a feeling that I’m going to have a very hard time going back to my normal life after this. I’m not sure how I’m going to forget about you, because I know that I should. And I think you’ve changed me in a way that you’ll never understand. I know that sounds incredibly dramatic, but no matter what happens, I will always remember last night and everything about you. How you made me feel. How you kept me grounded when I thought I was losing myself.”

In that moment, unselfishly, Kate just wanted Hollis to be happy, however that looked for her, and judging by the way this conversation was going, it wouldn’t involve her. And Kate had to figure out a way to be okay with that. She’d come into this weekend with zero expectations, and she had to leave this hotel the very same way tomorrow afternoon.

“So,” Hollis said with a sigh, “What I’m trying to say is that, honestly, I don’t think I’d say no to you, if we met in Los Angeles next week or next month, but that’s not possible. Not anytime soon anyway.”

“No, I know,” Kate said, glancing down at their hands. “I wasn’t looking for anything. I know you’ve got a lot on your plate right now. I guess, I was just curious. If you could see us…” Kate let her voice trail off. She shouldn’t have asked, and she might have ruined any chance of spending tonight in Hollis’s room, because all of a sudden things had gotten very serious.

“I think I could,” Hollis said with a smile slowly coming to her lips. “And that’s a big deal for me. I still can’t really believe that I’m here. Five years ago, I never would have dreamed of driving down here for the weekend. It just wouldn’t have been something I could have done. I know I shouldn’t be here. I could have waited another year, and maybe I should have. By then I’d be free to see whoever I wanted to without worrying about the consequences, but…” Hollis was smiling fully now. “Then we might not have met.”

“Probably not.” A warmth spread through Kate as she held her gaze, Hollis’s words replaying in her head. How did Kate have it this bad? That hearing Hollis say that she thought she could see them together would have her feeling this energized, this happy. But it wasn’t real. Not that Hollis was lying, but the part about them not really having a chance together because of Hollis’s current circumstances wasn’t going to change, and Kate needed to reel it in. “So we have tonight?”

“Hmm. We do. I’m leaving in the morning. I have a client meeting in the afternoon that I really wish I could change.” Hollis slid her hand away from Kate’s and reached for her drink. “On the drive here, I would have said that I’d need to be very drunk to allow myself to let go like I did last night, for last night to even happen, but I’m so glad that I was only slightly tipsy.”

Hollis took a drink, and Kate couldn’t keep herself from staring, her eyes moving over Hollis’s neck, her toned arms, her fingers.

“And this is all I’m having tonight,” Hollis said as she met her eyes. “I want to remember every single detail.”

Kate’s lips slid into an easy smile. “Me too.” Her heart was thumping wildly against her chest, but it was more anticipation than nerves tonight. She finished her wine before sliding off her stool. “Will we go upstairs?”

“I’d love to,” Hollis said, reaching for her hand.

14

Hollis sat in her car, the engine humming softly as she waited for the gates to open. She pulled into her driveway, delighted to see it empty. She wasn’t ready to leave the weekend behind her just yet, and the longer she went without seeing and speaking to Dave, the longer she could keep the memories of the last two days alive in her mind, untarnished.

Hollis carried her suitcase inside, her handbag slung over her shoulder as she climbed the curved staircase up to the master bedroom. She left her suitcase in her walk-in closet to unpack later. She sunk down onto the bed, her shoulders and legs aching from the past two days, a constant reminder that what had transpired was real, not just a dream.

She opened her bag and pulled out the slip of hotel paper. Hollis stared at it, not entirely sure what to do with Kate’s number.

She’d been surprised when she’d woken up alone this morning, but she got it. Saying goodbye was never going to be easy, but she couldn’t stop herself from wishing that she’d had a few more hours with Kate, that they’d been able to say goodbye properly.

She scoffed as she fell back against her smooth white sheets. Who was she kidding? How exactly would it have gone if she’d woken up with Kate in her bed, and they had to say goodbye, knowing that they wanted to see each other again and at the very same time that they couldn’t.

Hollis couldn’t have trusted herself not to let a tear slip down her cheek. She couldn’t have trusted herself not to promise Kate that they would see each other again. Hollis probably would have done something stupid like give Kate her number.

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